sometimes I wanna wait to have sex till marriage but Ik my bf doesn’t wanna and it’s not fair for me to say that we need to wait when I have bad self control and it’s not fair to him for me one day to wanna do stuff and the next say I need to wait but idk what to do Bc I’m a Christian and he’ll pray with me and confess our sins after we do it but u feel so guilty

There is no "should" in this situation. As long as you're both healthy, safe and in a committed relationship, discussing it between the two of you and weighing up what *you* think is best is all you can do.

truth is always there. God lined up His commandments crystal clear. People will give you opinions on the truth but look to the Bible and I’m encouraging you to choose God over temptation. I went through the same thing, I told him straight up that I wouldn’t do those things. Look to God for his plans and what He is saying to you because He can see and hear all things. Gods forgiveness is not for feelings... I had ocd thoughts about doing bad things and then asking for forgiveness. Sin is what separates us from God and he sees all and knows all. His way will always bring life and not death, he made you and He is the only one who can know all of you despite your sin. He is the only that can fulfill you because He is the one who made you. This is not based off of my knowledge but what comes from the Bible- please do review what God says. I’m not trying to scare you but what God says is very clear, satan will use whatever he can to take you away. Stay strong to who God has made you because although feelings of lust, sexuality and those things seem amazing they will pass and God will remain, His voice and law will remain. to keep your virginity for marriage is so amaizng. My mom would explain it as this- your virginity is like a cupcake or present outside of marriage someone is able to tear it up and leave it. In marriage you are able to give it again and again- it’s God’s gift but outside of marriage there is not gift. My friend slept w someone and he till this day regrets it and wants to take it back. God gave me a man w a beautiful, God seeming soul because what I would say is if you are not after God then you better keep walking. Because I want a man that God gave me. It was hard because I had to go through much temptation to get to him but it’s God’s plan not based off of feeling but truth. The things that God stands for, and He wnats the best for me because trust me when I went to my judgment and the world for a boy I found emptiness and people who wanted to use me and hurt me until I started trusting God. Stay true not to what the world wnats and what the world says but who God makes you. John 14:15 - If ye love me, keep my commandments. Jeremiah 17:9-10 - The heart [is] deceitful above all [things], and desperately wicked: who can know it? Mark 8:36 For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? Romans 3:4 By no means! Let God be true though every one were a liar, as it is written, “That you may be justified in your words, and prevail when you are judged.”

You are, of course, free to do whatever you want, but you really should wait until you’re married. Purposely doing something you know is wrong and then asking for forgiveness, in my opinion, is taking advantage of God’s grace.

What mohelein said is very true. We can put what we want over God and think that we will be happiness by chasing it. But really we miss out on the joy and peace that only God can give and become more unhappy.

This is not the forum to have a theological debate, so I truly wish you all well and I’m going to go to bed. But I just want to say that the Bible is also “crystal clear” that people who bash the heads of Babylonian babies on rocks are blessed (Psalm 137:9), which is, of course, crazy. And i don’t see any of us (thank God) going around killing babies. when we try so hard to read the Bible literally, we find that it says a lot of crazy things. That doesn’t make the Bible wrong, it just means we have to look at it differently. But again, I wish you all good health and grace and peace.

So aholcomb17, here are my views: you aren’t doing anything wrong and you have nothing to feel ashamed about and healthy, safe, committed sex is totally normal. And shame is not from God. Those are my views, but Im not you and we all have our own beliefs, so just take that for what it is—just my view. I do want to encourage you, though, to think ABOVE this particular issue. For a long time I suffered under the weight of sexual shame. And then I started thinking about what kind of God I believed in. I had been taught that “God is Love” but God didn’t feel like love at all. God felt like punishment and guilt for all the things I couldn’t do right. God felt like terror and fear and my inability to ever be good enough or my inability to not do things that are totally normal (like sex). And after many years of guilt and shame, I learned that this view of God that I was taught was not really God at all, but was spiritual abuse. Jesus came to set us free. God became flesh in Christ to put to death the view of God as a punitive being who is watching our every move and just waiting for us to mess up. Even if I did think that being obedient to God meant not having sex before marriage (which, to be clear, I don’t think there is anything disobedient or wrong about having sex in an adult, healthy, safe, committed relationship), God doesn’t need my obedience or your obedience or anyone’s obedience. God has love beyond what we understand as love. I hope that whatever your decision is with your bf, you can sit in that love and feel the freedom that it brings.

@puppychino You’re right, Jesus did come to set us free and God is love. But God made sex only for marriage. The Bible is quite clear on this. And it is not a burden, but a gift reserved for those who form a relationship so deeply that they decide to marry.

We’re buying promise rings does that do anything for that? And I asked him if we could stop having sex and wait and he said “yes I love you more than sex”

I am not Christian, although I was raised Christian. But there is nothing wrong with rubbing two body parts together. Wear protection. Talk about it beforehand. Be prepared to have a very awkward night. ? And truly it's okay.

Well it’s good then that me and my bf decided to stop and have self control

Yes❤️

https://religionnews.com/2016/07/21/sex-outside-of-marriage-can-be-holy-according-to-this-minister/

1 Corinthians 7:1-2 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. I do not believe that this means it is God’s law that everyone must marry, as other verses indicate that some are able to contain. But no where in the Bible does it say that premarital sex is allowed.

You shouldn't do anything you dont want to do, if it brings you too much guilt and its becoming a negative part of your life you should talk to him about how it makes you feel and in the end, you can really regret what you make yourself do, so I'd just abstain if that's what you want and I hope you can sort out your situation, just consider your feelings before anyone else's your 50% of the relationship after all and he shouldn't feel comfortable doing something that makes you upset.

I like to do stuff in the moment and don’t feel guilty but then later on I feel bad

That I let god down

That means you’re human and you have a good conscience.