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I'm begging u not to scroll past & ignore this post. I'm currently on my period & I've developed this compulsion where I have to wipe until there is zero blood left. Like even inside, I'll wipe internally now, which I didn't feel the need to do before, & its exhausting because there is a constant flow, & its gotten to the point where I can't tell what's menstrual blood anymore VS what's blood that I've caused from wiping too hard. I'm just feeding into the viscous cycle, of wiping blood only to cause more blood, which has me sitting on the toilet for roughly an hour, wasting toilet paper & now I'm guilty for how much I used because it didn't work anyway. It was only creating more blood, & so I gave up, but immediately started crying afterwards because it doesn't feel complete. My OCD is clearly getting severer now if I'm starting to self-inflict harm to my body without even intending to! Please, I know this is a gross topic, but is one of the worst manifestations yet that my OCD has had to offer & I don't think it can continue. I'll literally hold my bladder to avoid having to confront it. These urges are too much. I'm scared.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y ago

Hey. Try not to listen to the thoughts and do the opposite of what they tell you. You have to sit with those feelings and not give into the compulsions that are coming up in your mind.

AnimaLover19

Date posted: 1y ago

Well I think I may have already done that step, because I eventually did give up after realizing it was probably impossible, but it left me feeling unsatisfied to the point of tears

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y ago

@AnimaLover19 I'm really sorry to hear that. I hope you're seeking therapy. This is causing you a lot of distress

Will86

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@AnimaLover19 You gave up from frustration and fatigue. That's not the same as making the choice to be uncomfortable before you feel defeated. When you hear that you have to resists the act/do the opposite and sit with the discomfort. It means to make the choice to do it because without the intent to allow yourself the discomfort and resist doing what it says you need to then it's not an exposure. I wish you a lot of luck and hope to see many achievement posts from you. Stay strong

AnimaLover19

Date posted: 1y ago

@BigGip @Will86 I'm back with an update, & I'm proud to say that it's good news! I also thought I should thank you guys for your clever choice of wording. I in fact, did do the "opposite" this time! And without crying! 😊. I decided to make it a goal to instead, "still see" a little bit of blood by the end of the bathroom trip. Which was much easier, more attainable or likely to actually accomplish, & at the expense of barely any toilet paper. I will admit that it still felt slightly unnatural for me not to get it all off, but I'm also only human, & that's the most natural thing off all. If I hadn't interrupted myself from "fully" performing this compulsion earlier, despite causing me a great deal of SOS vibes, I don't think I would have been so chill & normal about it this time. I rlly need to apply this concept to all of my compulsive behaviours, & need to change my mindset, flip it so to speak, to believing that success is more-so defined in this case, by NOT finishing something (or even starting for that matter), than it is to perfect it.

AnimaLover19

Date posted: 1y ago

This is like a literal OCD red flag 🚩

BigGyro09

Date posted: 1y ago

Exactly. It's not you and it's just your OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m sorry your going through that. I have had a hard time with pulling our hair from all over my body for years and i would spend hours in the bathroom. I know it’s not the same obsession, but it took so much from me from years. I know that it may seem impossible and that you may never stop, but you are trying your best! Don’t forget that! Thank you for sharing and please share with your therapist. Your not alone! I hope your doing better.

KayStella

Date posted: 1y ago

I understand the urge and feeling of it not being complete n getting upset It sucks cuz these thoughts won’t j go away either I’ve gone through similar things n the only way I’ve gotten a little better w some of my compulsions was easing off them a little more each time u can try that or limit urself to how much tp u use before u go but idk everyone is different if ur not comfortable w that yet it’s ok I hope u do get better tho wish u best of luck

AnimaLover19

Date posted: 1y ago

Idk, I just kind of get stuck in the repetition

Erin P

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m sorry you going through this. I used to have similar compulsions, though not as bad, around period blood. Erp therapy and ssri medication helped me with this and I no longer have this issue (but have similar issues with bowel movements that I am trying to do erp for). The increased anxiety of pms/ and my menstrual hormones make it harder. Be kind to yourself, try erp and know that it can get better. Sending you strength and compassion.

carol.xxx

Date posted: 24w ago

HARM OCD please reply ♥️🤞🏼

I am really struggling with harm ocd. ( The fear of hurting others) My ocd is very tough to combat at the minute. I feel like i’m having intrusive thoughts every minute of every single day. Except from when Im distracted. I feel guilty and foul for the thoughts. I have this strong intrusive feeling that feels impulsive, as if i’m about to act on a thought. It almost feels like I want to. But I really don’t and i’m so scared this isn’t normal. I keep thinking. “What if this isn’t OCD” “What if i did that” and it’s really worrying me as it feels relentless and as if I’m about to do it. In my head chest wrists. I feel tired of this. I don’t know much about compulsions etc but i find myself - Asking my bf if he gets intrusive thoughts like me. Asking him if he actually does and asking repeatedly. - I ask him over and over again and check if he definitely does. - I will literally try to fight the thoughts by kind of saying “ as if i’m not that type of person” Then saying everything will be okay to myself. Please can someone tell me if this is normal. Yes I may be looking for reassurance but i need to know if it is, Im scared, i’m crying. Please tell me if you’ve had this feeling of as if you’re about to do it!

Harm OCD

carol.xxx

Date posted: 19w ago

Please reply Im terrified need you guys.

HARM OCD VENT. I feel Terrified. I am so scared that I am going to act on a terrible harm ocd intrusive thought on someone else. The idea, the sensations the urges terrify me because it feels so scarily real. I feel like im a horrible person - a danger and i’m so guilty for having intrusive thoughts. I hate knives, I avoid looking at them in real life, in the kitchen as i’m so terrified that i will do sone thing terrible. I get excited when my boyfriend cones round as i always think he knows about my thoughts so at least he would restrain me if i were to do anything bad. I just feel so scared so guilty. I have this horrible sensation of urge running through my body- currently im on the verge of tears- i feel lost. My ocd has even latched onto pumpkin carving - scared i will do something bad. Now my OCD is just being like “ maybe your avoiding is all fake and your trying to cover your a bad person” “ what if u actually want to “. “ I want to “ “ You arnt actually trying to hard from harmful objects “ its TERRIFYING. please may someone reply - I’m terrified right now its like an intrusive FEELING is in my body. Sorry guys. I NEED reassurance at this point, I don’t know what to do.

Harm OCD

hopefulxmess

Date posted: 12w ago

This mom is suffering 😪

This flare up is getting worse. So my son brought me a paper he needed signed for school yesterday and I asked him to get me a pen. As he got the pen I was just looking at him and unintentionally glanced over his private area and immediately freaked out with guilt. My ocd started telling me I was staring and that I wanted to look there. I know I wasn’t staring and I don’t ever want to look there. Anytime I accidentally catch a glimpse of my children’s private areas I always immediately look away and feel so guilty even though it wasn’t intentional or wanted but my ocd is making me believe I did stare and now the memory of it is blurred the more I try to remember it exactly to disprove the ocd. I feel horrible and I don’t know how I can ever get past this. 😪

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