- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I know, but with ocd you to a point where it feels convincing to the point where you're like "do I know or I don't?", but you're right. The conversation would be more easier for us to have if we didn't have ocd. I if like with attraction loss it's even harder because you know you want one gender but your attraction it's messed up so it feels like you're just saying because you're in denial. But if we were in denial we wouldn't obsess over it (I think lol)
- Date posted
- 6y
Read the same thing yesterday too and I'm even more confused now
- Date posted
- 6y
I don’t even know what conclusion to draw anymore. When straight girls talk about crushing on girls, everyone tells them they’re bi but when it’s the other way around they’re not? I’m just lost.
- Date posted
- 6y
Ikr. I read about this gay guy who had reverse hocd and was afraid to talk about it because he didn't want his sexuality to be labelled as a phase and then I read about this girl who is a lesbian and still fantasised about boys. And then I got even more questions. I can't stop thinking about it and I guess that's reassures me it's just ocd otherwise it'd be already done and over with this
- Date posted
- 6y
I feel like if you crush on either it basically means you’re bi but people like to say if you think a girl is pretty than you’re bisexual/lesbian and that’s not how it works. It’s annoying because you identify how you want to identify. People don’t define you, you define you
- Date posted
- 6y
Also if it was anything more you would know, if that makes since you would know you’re gay/lesbian/whatever sexuality you’re worrying about.
- Date posted
- 6y
It’s even more confusing for me because I identify as bisexual so my brain keeps trying to tell me that it’s a stepping stone and that I’m actually a lesbian, even though I have crushes on guys for the most part.
- Date posted
- 6y
My brother actually talked to me about that, he’s bisexual and he said he didn’t really question it, he was more worried how he was going to tell people. So that kind of keeps me afloat in this whole situation
- Date posted
- 6y
He just kind of knew
- Date posted
- 6y
I’ve never felt attracted to girls so that’s why I don’t understand this worry
- Date posted
- 6y
People with OCD tend to wonder how the rest of the world isn’t equally as obsessed with finding an answer to their questions. The truth is, sexuality is just weird and if you talk to people about theirs or read studies you’ll see that how people identify and the things they do/act/feel/respond to are often contradictory. You’ll never find a clear cut answer because there is none. Which is why it’s best to feed your OCD with the uncertainty — which is in fact the real answer.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 21w
Sort of a rant that probably sounds stupid and I’m kind of seeking reassurance… I’m still a relatively young teenager so I know I’ve got time to work all this out but I’m really confused about my sexuality. (I’m a girl) I’ve never been in a relationship (I don’t know if I want to be which is why I’m writing this) and sometimes I feel like I’ve never really had a crush and I just convinced myself that I did because I wanted to feel normal… but then maybe that’s false memory ocd??? I don’t really want to be in a long term relationship with a guy and idk about girls but idk if that’s just cos of my age??? Some days I hate the idea of ever dating, marrying or doing anything sexual. Other days I wish my mental / physical health was better so I could date someone! Everything I feel goes up and down a lot and idk why!? I have bad sexual intrusive thoughts that make me unsure whether anything that I think is real and my parents recently split up after not getting along for a few years. I don’t know if it’s my age, my ocd, my parents bad relationship, my sexuality (am I attracted to guys, girls? Am I ace!!!!???) Or something else but I have no idea who I am and I KNOW I’m young and have time but some other perspectives might help???? Can I ever be in a relationship if I have ocd like this? Also I’m really struggling not to compulsively seek reassurance and I don’t know who to talk to about all this irl I know I probably shouldn’t share this with random strangers but also idek if I care anymore 😭
- Perfectionism OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Real Events OCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- OCD newbies
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Date posted
- 16w
I am very depressed right now. I really feel like maybe I’ve always been a lesbian and never knew. I never questioned my sexuality when I was young, never wanted to explore, I just was straight and didn’t think anything about it, that’s just what it was. I had my first soocd spiral in late high school but didn’t have a name for it, just that I was having intrusive thoughts and it was killing me that maybe I was gay. I can’t exactly remember how I got out of that but I continued to have crushes, talking stages, and dated. It went away and that was that I guess. Looking back now I definitely was still avoiding content and certain people, and still had intrusive thoughts but didn’t think I was gay. I guess they were less sticky. Something about me is that I’ve never had a boyfriend and I’m a virgin. I’m very shy and romanticize things like I love the relationships and scenarios I read about or that I see in movies or the thirst traps online haha. So I want that irl but am disappointed when that doesn’t happen. I have a very interactive daydream (started when I was 13 and still continued that fantasy world now too) with a boyfriend, friends, and a prettier version of me. I enjoyed making up scenarios about sex or romance in those daydreams and fantasies, but when it came to real life, I would get shy or scared when things were starting to get serious with men. I thought maybe this was an avoidant attachment style but now I’m not sure. I never considered female fantasies and I still don’t want to right now. I want to test and see which one I like better, but I’m afraid I’ll find that I’m a lesbian and I really don’t want that. Ive always imagined myself with a man but now I’m worried about comphet. I’m really depressed and I can’t tell because yes, I find some women attractive whether it’s their makeup, face, body, aesthetic, but I never thought that meant I was attracted to them in a sexual or romantic way until this spiral. Now I’m afraid of masc lesbians and pretty women because it triggers me. But I’m also afraid because I feel like I can look at attractive men, but I don’t feel the same way anymore. I can’t even daydream about them bc then my brain inserts a woman. I’m really scared that I’ve lost myself, because I truly feel like I have, but I don’t want to explore with women, I just want to like men, I’ve always liked that idea. But so many lesbians talk about liking celebrities, fantasy men, or just attractive men. Sorry for the rant but I’m struggling a lot right now. I feel like all my memories, even the ones that directly contradict being a lesbian, can be explained away by comphet, internal homophobia, denial, suppression, etc. When I do try and accept uncertainty, sometimes it feels ok, but then something will trigger me and I’m back at square one. I’m afraid if I take my meds I’ll discover something about myself that I don’t want to because I’ve always been depressed and avoidant of life because it never lives up to my expectations. My sexuality is on my mind 24/7! I can’t take it!
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond