- Date posted
- 2y
Question
Why does it feel like no matter how much I try to not fight back, its still not going and still makes me feel convinced?
Why does it feel like no matter how much I try to not fight back, its still not going and still makes me feel convinced?
Because ocd is the doubt disorder and it thrives off of attention Think of it as a celebrity rumor for example Madison beer, everyone thinks she got a nose job (I’m one of those people) she claims she did not but every time she discusses the matter it just sparks the comparisons of pictures of then and now of her face ^its a silly way to put it but it’s just another way to think of it Allow the question to exist, and be in your values.
So I need to keep doing this basically?
@beckalouise No, don’t give the ocd attention. Let it be and sit with the uncertainty. It sounds like your ruminating on the thought and trying to solve it. You don’t have to, trying to solve it is only going to keep it around Use responses like: maybe, maybe not And try to leave it at that
@Jojo💕 It's more feelings I feel now?
@beckalouise Let it be, they will pass
@Jojo💕 Thankyou!
@Jojo💕 Mine is creating scenarios as well, and it’s not like i feel “intense anxiety” rather just it’s always thoughts revolving around it… I’m assuming do the same thing, just leave it at maybe maybe not?
@Michael F Yes ocd craves certainty, saying maybe maybe not can work for any theme
@Jojo💕 Fair point, appreciate this!
@Jojo💕 I always just say “eh whatever ok if that’s what you think Brain…l and I laugh at the thoughts. My ocd used to be out of control. If there’s hope for me there is for anyone. I know what it is now so I’ll play with thoughts sometimes in my head and turn it into a joke instead of something to be feared. 🤷♀️
@Amber3993 That’s actually brilliant, whenever i go down the “well you want to date same sex” or whatever it may be.. i get really depressed
@Amber3993 Mine is feelings, I think it's anxiety but I've shut my emotions off so I can't tell anymore. How is the best way to shrug all of this off?
@Amber3993 Yes!!!!! This is the best solution ! Making it a joke! I get some pretty random intrusive thoughts that are just like what in the hell? Why would I think that ? I got a beautiful woman who loves me and I like feeling her and touching her.. but when I’m not in my head and it passes I think back to when I was in it and I just crack up .. like that was funny bro to my brain .
I find I could be fine then I'll go on tik tok and get a video of a gay couple and it'll give me major anxiety and then I'll think that must mean I am
@Anonymous Why does it matter if it gives you anxiety ?
@yoyo22 - Whenever I get the anxiety I feel as tho it's true
Okay, I understand, because I am like this as well. Imagine you have a big test tommorow, you are starting to feel anxious because you are afraid to fail, that doesn’t mean that you ARE in fact going to fail. See now, anxiety is just a normal reaction from the human body, having anxiety doesn’t mean that you are or are not gay, it doesn’t mean anything, don’t try to “fix” it. instead, try to go along with it and play the “maybe, maybe not” answer :) hope this could help you…
The problem is, I'm hardly ever anxious anymore!
@beckalouise Hey, so that’s perfect! Why are you worried about not being anxious ? being anxiety free is really nice, it means you are giving less attention to the thoughts! now, don’t fall in the cycle again, stop trying to look for an answer, because there aren’t any, life isn’t meant to be thought about about but lived! Try and sit with the uncertainty
Can I just say this actually helped me out big time and I was having a really bad day about it all thank you so much
@yoyo22 The problem is the thoughts have calmed down. It feels like I feel feelings and then it's real? I also feel like I've shut my emotions off too? Does this all make sense?
@beckalouise It makes sense, yet you are still trying to understand, which means you are still stuck in the loop (according to me). Don’t try to make any sense of the feelings or the thoughts, they are just there. See, when you are hungry, do you wonder “why am I hungry, is this just a thought ? Is it a feeling ? should I absolutely find out now? what should I eat” and so on… you are saying that it is a problem that the thoughts have calmed down, to me, it’s not something negative or positive, it just means the thoughts gave you a break. So, what if it feels like a feeling now? it doesn’t matter, just ride the wave, just like when you’re hungry, you won’t go into a full cycle to really wonder if you are hungry or not. The problem doesn’t reside in the fact that you are or are not hungry, but rather in the loop of analysis that you get into once you start feeling hunger. This could be applied to any feeling/thought/emotion or whatever. Some people fall in love for 3 days, then it disappears, some people think about killing their mother in law and never do it some people feel love one day and hate the next towards the same person, some people feel gay one day then straight the next, some people don’t identify, some people feel gay their whole life, others have a crush on a specific person, most people are a mix of everything. The only difference between us being on this app, and other people is that others don’t nearly give as much attention to their worries as we do. I wish you good luck on your journey and assure you that everything is going to be ok, I think you are brave for sharing to strangers :)
Oops sooty I was trying to answer @Anonymous (above)
@yoyo22 @beckalouise
I feel like the thoughts are telling me, "You want this, you want to be attracted to kids" when I know that's not the case. I've been stuck ruminating for the past couple of days and I'm so worried about this disorder convincing me that I'm something I've never been. I try not to fight it, but when I don't it feels like I'm giving into it like it's true. The meds I'm on keep me from being super depressed, but it's still there. I feel like I'm going to act on my thoughts one day and it worries me. I don't feel like myself anymore and I don't know if this is progress or a relapse. Even when having intercourse with my partner, I had to thought block because the thoughts were images while in the middle of it. Then afterwards, they came flooding in saying that I was doing it as a distraction. I don't know what else to do. I try to pinpoint all of my triggers, but sometimes I don't think I even have any. I feel like a monster. I'm honestly scared.
Does anyone feel like they’re fighting a war inside of them? I’ve slowly opened up to people about my past and things that happened ( I never thought I would ) but at times, I value truth and honesty and wanting to be a good person and this is something I just want to let go of because I’ve suffered with the guilt and shame and regret but my mind keeps on dwelling on it and bringing it back. Like I’m a fraud. This implies to all my mistakes that I’ve learned from. I normally tell my mom things but I don’t want to tell her these things. I love her and don’t want to bring shame upon my family or for this to be brought up over and over again. I did stupid things without logically thinking and I have the best mom ever and she trusted me with things when I was younger. I made mistakes with that trust and it makes me upset. I now feel like I’m ideally the “ideal” kid for my family and I wish to stay like that no matter my age. I’ve been trying to mange with my childhood mistakes. The shame and guilt. I’m trying to be a bit more compassionate but there’s always the thought that scares me, what if I was really evil? I used to hate looking at pictures of myself when I was younger but now when I do, I finally realize what they meant by “you aren’t your worst mistake” because I’ve done good and I’ve also screwed up. But I feel like I’m fighting a war with myself because I value justice and truth and so but I don’t even wanna talk about this or bring it up and my mind keeps targeting it and it’s exhausting.
Usually my thoughts go from statements, which I fight all the time, to doubts like “do I” or “i don’t know” but I don’t fight this. I’m not sure if this is progress or it’s the truth. Anyone else feel like this?
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