feel the need to confess to cheating when I didn’t, ocd spiked today because bf actually got upset at something, not cheating just something he didn’t lie. now I feel like a cheater who’s in denial
I have this same worry. Especially after nights out drinking, thoughts like “what if I cheated and don’t remember…”. It’s horrific because I adore my boyfriend with my whole heart (been together 4+ years). We do long distance in college and thank god are going into our last year. It’s so horrible to have this fear because it feels like I am a bad person if I don’t try to figure it out.
@motivatedgirl yes same :( I get scared smthng is gonna come up in the future, for example something of me cheating is gonna come up unexpectedly and i don’t even remember doing it or i had forgot and it ruins my whole relationship… it makes me sound guilty idk :( I just get so scared that I cheated and forgot, and then the fear branches out to what if other ppl know I cheated and I forgot and it comes up and it ruins everything. but I can’t even think of anything??? I hope this doesn’t make me sound like a cheater I’m just so scared I am one and it feels so real it feels like I am one it’s only just a matter of time before I “realize” it idk it’s stupid;((
@cs223 I have the EXACT same fear. Don’t worry I will never judge you I know how paralyzing this fear is. It’s insanely hard. I stopped leaving the house to try to be around my friends all the time to make sure they didn’t seem “off” cuz that would confirm I cheated and they know and I don’t remember. I also have asked for reassurance many many times and they have always reassured me I have never done anything but it just feels like what if they don’t know yet? It feels like I’m not even living my life, just waiting around to be exposed and I will lose my friends, the respect of my family, and worst of all my loving boyfriend who I adore with my whole entire heart. I’m so sorry to hear you’re dealing with similar thoughts.
@motivatedgirl omg I asked friends for reassurance and even people I thought I cheated with, and they all said I didn’t do anything, most even expressed like girl that’s stupid ur looking 2 deep into it, but all of them said i didn’t do anything wrong at all, but for some reason my ocd chimes in and says “what if they are lying? What if THEY forgot?”
@cs223 I feel the exact same way. I have recently been triggered again because I drank a little too much (haven’t done this since this theme started last year in February) on Saturday and I don’t remember bits of the night and I have crippling anxiety of what if i was disrespectful to my boyfriend in any way (even just being flirtatious). I was with my roommate the whole night and she assured me I was “totally fine and to not worry” but I just can’t accept her response as fact because what if SHE doesn’t remember either? I even talked to my boyfriend about this and he assured me I was being silly, he knows I would never do anything and he trusts me but it just feels like I’m lying by not confessing something that I don’t even know I did? Or logically think I did either just fear it?
@motivatedgirl yea I feel the same, I am working on not confessing to my bf, bf I confessed EVERYTHING, and sometimes he would get upset, I would never cheat but I would bring up stuff that didn’t even need to be brought up and it just made him overthink. and he would be like ok can u not confess bc sometimes it just puts me in a bad mood bc it’s about other people, so I stopped confessing for the most part bc of him and bc it’s not good for my ocd, but i feel like if I don’t confess then I’m lying?? or hiding something??? but idk what I’m hiding.. or lying abt…it’s just a whole bunch of what ifs with no evidence. and even when there is evidence my ocd just doesn’t really care and keeps going. even if i have messages, or screenshots of messages that im worrying about, obviously it’s proof i DIDNT do something, but my ocd always likes to chime in like what if there’s a deleted message? or what if u sent something but don’t have it anymore? just extra worries for no reason…
@cs223 Yeah I feel the exact same way. Honestly it’s been over a year of this and so at this point it makes me just so deeply sad. I just feel like I can never escape if it is constantly on my mind. I know logically that if it happened my friends would know and they wouldn’t lie to my face but then I say well what if either they don’t know yet or they’re not telling me. Now I just feel like the worst girlfriend I feel so anxiously attached constantly I’m not even present in my own life
@motivatedgirl i relate to you super hard. im so anxiously attached to my bf but for some reason can’t enjoy anything w him because of my ocd, doesn’t mean I don’t love him tho, cause I do a lot. it’s just hard. it’s hard to stay present in ur relationship and even harder in ur own life because ur so consumed about worries about your relationship, well that’s how it is for me. im on medication and doing therapy but it’s gotten a tiny bit better but still super hard.
@cs223 I feel all those exact same things. It’s really nice to not feel so alone. Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy. I’m in therapy too, but I’m not medicated at this point in time. Do you have any coping skills you use?
always wonder what if I cheated and forgot it sucks soooo bad
I’m glad I saw your post, I feel the exact same way :( I went clubbing on the weekend and I was drunk, this guy called me over and asked me what my name was, I told him my name and then I walked off, but now I feel like I’ve cheated on my boyfriend. I can’t tell him because he will see it differently :(
i’m anxious because after my boyfriend and i got in a argument i was “daydreaming” or thinking about what it would be like dating someone else who was more “right for me” and what if i was excited about that possibility like i had already moved on from my boyfriend. but when i really think about it i don’t want to be without him and don’t want to picture us breaking up. i know i love him but those other thoughts scared me and im now questioning if they mean im falling out of love with him. and if that’s the case i feel like i need to confess that. but at the same time these thoughts could be ocd because the “daydreaming” started after we had been getting in arguments a lot and then i kept seeing other couples interact online and i compare my relationship to that. but then when i think about my own relationship i have everything i want and am being treated how i want to be treated. i’m just scared that because i have had those thoughts about being with someone else that i need to break up him because our relationship is tainted now and i need to start over and do everything perfectly. i think these thoughts are triggered my us fighting and him not fully understanding my rocd and me looking at relationships where the boyfriend understands the girlfriends ocd and supports her and wanting my relationship to me more like that. which logically i know doesn’t mean we have to break up and i need to start over. i can just bring up this issue and communicate what i want and how i want to be supported. i just feel like i need to confess all these thoughts and that i “daydreamed” about being with someone else (no one in particular) and how im now focused on his flaws in comparison to couples online.
Hi everyone!! This is a new kind of theme I’m dealing with. My brain will come up with false memories of my boyfriend saying awful things about my family or me…deep down I know it’s not real. The more I think about it though, the more real these “memories” feel. How do I deal?
I often feel like i did something wrong even tho i am positive i didn’t, my boyfriend and i have been together for like 6 months and i’ve been completely loyal to him the whole time but recently i’ve been feeling the need to confess that i cheated on him even tho i didn’t and there’s absolutely no proof that i did something even close, i don’t talk to other men and if i do my boyfriend has full access to my phone and it’s usually a friend or me asking a simple question but i still feel the need to confess even tho i’ve done nothing wrong🥲 someone please help it’s so confusing
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