Existential OCD is so awful

@Anonymous I am new to accepting that I experience OCD. I have struggled with the same thoughts you quote. I never knew what this was and why it caused me so much distress. This comment has helped me in my journey of believing that I do indeed live with OCD. Thank you for sharing.

@Anonymous and it’s like once i lean into it, maybe i’m not real, thoughts like “what if U ARE real tho” and that causes so much anxiety and then it hits u, u were accepting nothing is real which doesn’t even make sense

@Tee10 I do this too , I question and over analyze everythingggfg

@Tee10 I think we all have these thoughts, it’s just those with anxiety think there is some deeper meaning to the thoughts. I told my therapist that I didn’t know my whole life that I didn’t need to analyze / dissect every thought I had. I thought If I had a thought, it must be true. So that’s why I have so much anxiety, I followed and analyzed every thought my whole life - instead of letting them just flow. I’m reading living untethered and it’s been helping me understand we are not our thoughts. Mine are just really sticky thanks to OCD/anxiety. It doesn’t matter what the content is, OCD opens thoughts & doors that no one wants to obsess over. That’s what’s so diabolical about OCD. It’s like we think something that most people dont give awareness to, and we can’t get our awareness off it. I know I’ll think something and be like “damn it. Why did I think of that, now it’s not going to go away.” But the harder we try to unthink it, the harder it comes back. I try so hard to accept the thoughts so that other ones can flow, and it does work. But that door just keeps swinging open…

@Anonymous I hope this theme goes around like the other ones I had… those old themes just seem silly and stupid now. But this one has stuck around for years. And just seems to get worse. Idk why I can’t shake this one. It doesn’t seem like an ODD problem honestly. It just seems like a REAL issue that I truly can’t understand why no one else worries about it.

@Tee10 Mine was caused by DPDR, and panic attacks. I never thought about these things until I became hyper aware of them. It’s been about 8 months. I’m taking medication now which has been helping. But because I feel disconnected a lot, my mind interprets that feeling with these thoughts

@Tee10 goes away****

@Anonymous That’s literally what happened to me. I blame it on my abusive ex who put me through serious trauma. That is what triggered my DPDR

@Anonymous Same. Just want my old brain back.

@Anonymous I want to go back to just living and feeling without trying to assign a meaning to it all or over analyzing every little action, thought, or emotion

@Anonymous Yep. I’m always thinking. I’ve always been an over thinker but it’s like the thinking is on a runway train now and questions things that I just cannot answer

@justsomone1 Yeah I go through bouts of this too. It’s like the me before these thoughts was a completely different person because I didn’t over think and analyze every action, every thought, every emotion. It’s all a high level of anxiety that keeps these thoughts and feelings alive

@justsomone1 i get that so much, same

@Anonymous Did you be any chance experience trauma before you had these thoughts?

@Tee10 by*

@Anonymous I went through an abusive relationship with someone who was literally clinically insane and the way they saw things/acted/thought is what triggered my existential thoughts

@Anonymous yup me 2

@stutisharma05 The only time I get relief is when I’m engaged with something that takes my full attention - if I’m just thinking freely, I have these thoughts 24/7

@Anonymous i can fully fully relate dude

@stutisharma05 I read something that was so perfect - there’s a before you were aware, and an after you’re aware. My life before I was unaware you could even think this way or be this anxious, now I’m not sure how It’s possible to “unthink” being this way. All I know is I’m going to stop reading Reddit, searching, seeking reassurance and see if I can starve OCD of it’s power and get my life back.

@Anonymous How are you guys doing now. This is precisely what im going through at the moment. Its terrifying and hoping for some hope for the future!