Confessing everything to partner?

I have dealt with ocd confessing for quite a few years now but I have the urge to confess everything bad I’ve ever done to my partner and I’m scared if we get married that I’m not being honest if I don’t tell him about my past - (sleeping around) there was also a cross over where I was speaking to another guy whilst me and my current partner were getting to know each other. I have also spoke to a few guys in the club or pub (only friendly conversations, no flirting) whilst we have been in a relationship which I didn’t think was a big deal at the time but I feel like I’m going to end up loosing him by confessing everything I’ve ever done when I know it’s not a big deal in hindsight, I feel physically sick about this. Does anyone have advise or similar experience?

Username: e.cate.cat

Date posted: 1y ago

I do the EXACT same thing!! You are not alone. I feel the need to tell him EVERYTHING and include every single detail. Or else I feel like I’m lying to him. I’m always worried he wouldn’t love me if he knew the “truth” about me, my past, my thoughts or actions, etc. It will get better, I promise ♥️

Username: Grace003Grace003

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I'm in the same boat. For different reasons. I have a very kind husband, but I am constantly afraid I am too dirty and unworthy to be loved, so I feel like I have to tell him every time someone flirts with me or I find someone attractive. I've never cheated, but I dread being perceived as one. To the point where I get nauseous. I'm working on self trust and trusting others.

Username: cjvcjv

Date posted: 1y ago

My OCD theme is the same. It had gotten better for quite some time, however something recently triggered my anxiety about this and I’m going through a flare up. What worked for me was telling myself “maybe, maybe not” after a thought. Also my therapist really helped. I’m thinking of seeing if I can set up an appointment with her sometime soon because this flare up is bad. But I’m also trying to remember that I can’t feed into the ruminating, so do your best to tell the thoughts you don’t care about them.

Username: olivia1997olivia1997

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Thank you, that does make me feel better that I’m not the only one to feel this way, it’s hard when you’re around them and you feel like you have a guilty conscience, did you manage to stop doing this? Do you have any advise on how to stop this feeling? I know if I tell him he may not understand and see it in a different way to what it actually is, I know my intentions towards him but it’s hard to shake this feeling. ❤️

Username: e.cate.cat

Date posted: 1y ago

@olivia1997 It was really hard for me sometimes. I always felt guilty too, and I would cry all the time. There were points where I broke down and told him everything (thoughts like I was worried I cheated on him, things I did in the past, thoughts I’ve had, etc.) he was very understanding and reassured me there was nothing to worry about. BUT with OCD you’re not supposed to confess or seek reassurance, those are compulsions. So recently, with my OCD kicking back up, I’ve been doing my best not to tell him anything, and just live in the moment. It’s so so hard. But with therapy and research you can get through it, and I really recommend medication as well. I take Prozac and it helps a lot with OCD! This feeling will pass with time and you don’t have to confess or ask for reassurance for that to happen. I know it feels helpless right now. I can’t even begin to tell you how many days I’ve wasted feeling guilty, crying non stop, not eating, working or even getting out of bed. But I made it (through multiple spells) and you can too!

Username: e.cate.cat

Date posted: 1y ago

@e.cat Also I’ll add that after confessing to my partner, it made me feel ok for a bit, then I started having more OCD thoughts over the fact that I told him, so it actually made it worse in the end. I’ve noticed that the most helpful thing is to just not say anything at all and read up on OCD, and learn to how handle it on my own and remember that there are other people out there struggling like me.

Username: olivia1997olivia1997

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

On the weekend I was with my friend in the club and this guy was staring at me and told me to come here with his hand, he asked me what my name was and I told him and walked away, it feels like I have cheated on my partner and I have so much shame and guilt for telling someone else my name. I know deep down this is not a big deal but I cannot get it out my head. I don’t want to escalate it by telling my partner and he may see it differently :(

Username: e.cate.cat

Date posted: 1y ago

@olivia1997 A lot of my OCD fears with my partner revolve around the fear of me having cheated, you are not alone at all ♥️🫶 I so know how you feel .

Username: Grace003Grace003

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

This happens to me so often! I might just smile back at someone at a coffee shop, and then I have to tell my husband. He assured me he trusts me, but I don't feel like I trust me. I'm working on trusting my self more, rather then mentally punishing my self.

Username: olivia1997olivia1997

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@Grace003 I think I feel this guilty because the guy that asked me my name was quite attractive and then I felt like I was being unfaithful, bearing in mind I was also very drunk and I shouldn’t of taken notice of him, which has made my OCD spiral, I’m glad I’m not the only one to feel this way

Username: Allison_

Date posted: 2y ago

Confession OCD

Anyone know anything about confession OCD that can tell me about it in a nutshell? I’ve always felt the need to tell everyone whatever is going on in my head and I feel guilty if I don’t. I would always tell on myself as a kid but not for the things I did wrong but instead for all the bad things in my head. Now I obsess over everything from my past and experience with other partners and have horrible guilt if I don’t tell my boyfriend absolutely everything that has ever happened or just things my mind gets stuck on. Only when he knows everything I can think of do I relax. Is this what confession OCD is? If not- does anyone else get the compulsion to get the truth out?

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Confession - cheating ocd

I have this thought where i think ive chested on my partner 2 years ago when drunk at a party I really really dont think it happened because i only had the thought a few months ago “what if i cheated at this party with this guy who i barely even know” I see a future with my boyfriend and i don’t want to confess but i just feel like i have to JUST IJ CASE but i know it could hurt him so much and it probably didnt even happen I cant just ask the guy who i think i cheated with because were not friends and dont speak so if i message he will think im some freak Anyone in a similar boat or overcome this I just don’t know how i can move forward without confessing

Username: Coffeelover11

Date posted: 1y ago

Anyone else experience this?

Does anyone struggle with real event ocd and having to confess to their partner? I have so many regrets on things I’ve either done or thought and feel like I can’t move on or be better until I’ve been forgiven for them. Mostly things that happened a couple years ago and I don’t know why it’s all of a sudden bothering me now but it makes me feel like I’m the worst person ever. I’m even questioning how I thought or felt during that time and I’m confessing to thoughts or things I may or may not have done or thought. It’s so confusing and I feel trapped in my own head. If anyone has any tips I would appreciate it. Thank you for you time

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Confessing everything to partner?

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