Sexual orientation ocd and "feelings"

Also just wanted to add this is from just my personal experiences not nothing from a professional

@Mr.ocd This explains it so well! In fact i’ve never thought of it that way. But I really relate to that point of view. Thank you thank you thank you!

@Noodles123 Yes, for me it's mostly because I've dealt with this them for over a year now, so I'm essentially desensitized to the thoughts. For example, before ERP, I used to get intrusive thoughts of Lesbian sex scenes in my head (sometimes involving me. Sometimes not.) BUT, then I had that thought so frequently that the anxiety died down over time. I think most people's issues, especially mine revolve around once using that anxiety as "proff" that the thoughts scare you. After anxiety wears off, you confuse it with "liking" the thoughts.

@Mr.ocd That’s a really good way to put it… so your saying that don’t pay attention to them it’s just thoughts their not really you just feared thoughts?

@MollyGrace Well its hard to not pay attention to the narrative my ocd is trying to build just because it puts me in such a state of high alert and feels so real. That unfortunately i end up holding out as much as i can till i eventually give into compulsions of checking my feelings, and riminating just to end up realizing its just the way my worried ocd brain skews things. I am starting therapy on monday where hopfully i am able to notice whats happening and not give into the cumpulsions.

The thought of forcefully losing my bf to go to the "other side" fills me with so much fear, anguish and disgusting. He's my person!

@Prettyinpink Totally understand. That’s a horrible thought. It’s a confusing and scary process but we will get through it!

@Noodles123 Also yes, I'm open to chatting

@Prettyinpink Yay thank you! So have you ever had dreams about girls. Ive heard it’s sometimes a common thing of how OCD hooks you back into the cycle. My dreams have more been seeing girls kiss (it’s not been me kissing them) just watching. When i wake up i’m sad and uncomfortable. Do you experience these if so how do you deal with it when you wake up? If you have any questions for me your more than welcome to ask!

@Noodles123 Also YES! the first one I ever had was February 2022, about 1 month before this theme fully hit! I woke up with this disturbed, perverted feeling that I couldn't shake off. Usually, these dreams involve women doing sexual things against my will, almost forcing themselves onto me! They're disturbing because I don't identify with that sexuality. Not because I think these acts are inherently wrong.

@Noodles123 Hey girl I’m going through the same thing as well! I am straight and identify as straight but idk why all the sudden my intrusive thoughts and ocd are confusing me or making me guess…

I don't know if my brain takes it the wrong way, but it feels like I do more than just finding them attractive, feels like I developed an instant crush or that I'm actually into them, and I don't mean that I have that though, I mean that it feels like that, and it does get me anxious, but not as anxious as I use to be

@Perzibal I’ve experienced this too. Once I thought a girl was pretty and my brain automatically spiralled making me feel like i liked her. When i didn’t know one thing about her. It just triggered something making me feel like i had a crush on her. When in reality deep down do i feel that was towards her no. My anxiety spikes making me panic more and i feel like i’m having an outer body experience. It doesn’t feel like me. Just thought i’d tell you that so you don’t feel so alone. Have a good day!

@Acrasia Yup when i’m attracted to men, it feels natural, i’m comfortable i feel giddy and happy. When my OCD makes me feel false attraction it feels out of place, uncomfortable, confusing and saddening.

@Noodles123 Yeah but your anxiety makes you feel that way I don't feel that anxious, also it does feel like it could be me, not an out of boddy experience

@Perzibal Maybe your reacting differently to these thoughts

@MollyGrace Why can't I react the same?

@Noodles123 Im not really used to complimenting women when I find them pretty, whenever I start to admit that- ocd takes it the wrong way and makes it feel like im attracted to them or smth. I do prefer men, yet somehow it feels like im pretending or just forcing myself to rn 🙃

@Noodles123 Literally the same thing you go through i go through it latches on to coworkers out of the blue literally starts by questioning for reassurance and i dont. Then i keep digging and with every reassurance i do it starts to feel more real thats when i question again and inadvertently think about the possibily of feeling like i do like them and ocd latches on to thinking about feeling like that and it feels real along with the anxiety worry fear. Althought i can see whats going on it still really messes with me .

@Perzibal Ocd causes a lot of fear and anxiety

@MollyGrace - Then I don't have OCD cause I barely feel any fear