It literally feels so wrong. as if im doing something i’ve never done before. letting go feels so scary, it’s like my core fear is acceptance in itself. does anybody know what acceptance looks like? i’ve always been an anxious person so it feels like acceptance is just doing something so out of the blue, i feel physically incapable of it, like sometimes i start shivering. is there any hope for me?
I totally get how “wrong” it feels. It’s because it’s new. That is why you hear “practice acceptance.” It’s not easy, it feels risky, it feels like you’re making a mistake, I get it, initially I felt the same way. However, I gradually incorporated acceptance into my life, I accepted small things at first, maybe I offended my friend when I said that, maybe they misheard me. It felt terrible, I accepted that feeling. By “accepted” I mean I didn’t do anything about it, I did think about it, try to figure it out, call my friend etc. Mark Freeman has a great little book, The Acceptance Field Guide. Here is one of his videos that helped me https://youtu.be/3vhjrn9NCWE. Hope this helps!
@VGH thank u so much!
@VGH Acceptance is difficult. Been having better luck. Could be my Clomiphramine, which I’m on max dose.
@Matthew L. Glad to hear!
@VGH I guess I feel accepted because people talk to me. Also I’m not afraid to engage in conversation with people I don’t know.
ive been practicing something called "radical acceptance" in therapy (outside nocd) and ive found practicing with little things (what i call my "general" anxiety: worrying about social events, work, etc) has helped me become more comfortable with accepting bigger, "scarier" things (my health, the health of my loved ones, etc). its a looongggg process, but definitely not hopeless. celebrating small acceptance wins helps remind you that youre making progress.
I think there’s an immense amount of hope, I relate a ton to this, I’ve always been the anxious type too for as long as I could remember. I think there is hope at the end of this. I like the part where you said, “ it’s like my core fear is acceptance in itself” like that hit me with a ton of bricks to be honest.
@The names Adelbert how were u able to deal with this? any advice :(?
@stutisharma Radical acceptance & the hope that it won’t always feel this intense. I think back to a peaceful point in my past where OCD wasn’t at the forefront & what I was doing back then, for me it was lots of time in nature & surfing, life was still hard but it felt easier when I did the things that I love and kept that fire ignited in me. I also go to treatment right now, it’s all about your personal story & how you overcome.
@The names Adelbert thank u so much :))
I question acceptance? I do things and try not to ruminate afterwards. Moving on from activity to activity can definitely make you anxious. Acceptance is one of those things you’d like to feel, but not easy. I’ve learned how to better accept acceptance. Still working on it.
@Matthew L. rooting for you!
@stutisharma Thank you.
Acceptance is freeing and terrifying at the same time. I have to accept that I may be the worst kind of human in existence. Trust me, my hands shake, my stomach hurts, and I cry frequently, but then I just accept that maybe I am and I go for a hike with a friend (without confessing) I eat again, and hug my family
@Anonymous that sounds really hard, im so proud of you. this gave me a lot of hope
@stutisharma It doesn’t stay feeling terrible. The acceptance gets easier
@Anonymous I used to feel like the worst human being around. However I’ve thought less of that.
@Anonymous Thank you for sharing this example of what acceptance looks/feels like. I always thought I had to feel good to move on, after therapy I realized the action (moving on) has to come first then the feelings will follow. Sometimes moving on through tears and shaking and all the feelings is what we have to do while we focus on what’s right in front of us.
@VGH Exactly, it’s supposed to feel wrong and terrible, but over time the discomfort does become less. It just takes a lot of work
@Anonymous Good way to describe acceptance. I’m able to engage in conversation with people I don’t know. I enjoy it when someone else starts a conversation with me. I feel more accepted.
@Matthew L. I still have a hard time with self acceptance, however when others seem to accept me, it feels good.
@Matthew L. In the end though, only you accepting you matters
@Anonymous Right, but I still have trouble accepting myself. I’d like to reach this plateau.
@Matthew L. I some days I’ve reached it and other days it goes back to where I started. Just remember, even that bad feelings come and go
@Anonymous I still have bad days with symptoms of my OCD, where I’m mentally exhausted and can’t do anything. I don’t accept myself because I feel I should be handling things better than I am.
@Matthew L. Hi, remember recovery work is difficult and it’s normal to feel tired and exhausted while you are creating new patterns of behavior. That’s why it’s important to do some self care. Make sure you take some time for yourself, do something you enjoy. You are working hard, it’s not easy to resist compulsions. It’s important we are not too hard on ourselves. So while we are being kind to ourselves, understanding that recovery work is exhausting, the acceptance we are talking about is more of an acceptance of the intrusive thoughts, urges and feelings. We accept them, it doesn’t mean we believe that they are true. We allow them to be there while we live our lives doing things we value. As we live our lives we acknowledge that we are doing the hard work of recovery and we are kind to ourselves❤️
Certain things bother me more than others. I had another bad Saturday, when I get my brother to go see our parents. I can’t sit there and watch tv. I feel worse. I had an episode where I was exhausted, messed up my plans for Sunday. Supposed to go to a show, casino. My OCD was terrible, and I didn’t go. Think I had participatory OCD. New environment and packing. Saturday led to Sunday, & I missed going. I was mad at myself. Trying to take time for myself.
What does acceptance mean/ feel like? Because to me it just scares me and makes me feel like I’m giving into my OCD thoughts.
Does anyone else get triggered by some of the things people say about accepting and recovering. Idk Like sometimes I feel like my thoughts are so awful how could i ever come to accept that and let it roam free in my brain. I think that makes my fear worse especially when it comes to magical thinking :(
Now i know i need to accept when i feel anxiety or fear, ive been avoiding it or pushing it away.l, cause im afraid ir will take me and to be honest i cant really deal with fear. I noticed when i feel it a I say its okay, im feeling this but theres no danger and by this i pushing it away. But when theres is signs of an aczual danger i ho crazy. I try to push away the fear but it says that "there is a sign, we are in danger, are you crazy?" Ane i keep spinning. I heard alot about accepting thatbwe feel anxiety or fear but thats always makes me accept that theres a danger. Cause im accepting what i feeling but then my mind wants to know if theres a danger and im spinning over that, then i feel like i need to avoid it cause i cant handle... or if i say theres might be a danger or there is i go crazy... then i start to have the selfharm automative thoughts and in the panic i cant see that its ocd, im trying to say it but i feel like im lying, then everything feels true... i cant accept that i feel anxiety but its not a danger but even this you can see i start to rumminate over "okay i feel this but is there a problem? Yeah is see this this is a problem, im avoiding, i have to do something about it quickly, then i try to stop to not act based of fear but i feel bad cause im avoiding. I cant see the reality when i feel panic or afraid, even trying to see reality becomes compulsive. What im dealing with now is that i get hit by anxiety, i accept it and i get a feeling that but theres no fear and i get hit by this toxic good feeling like i avoided a danger and i dont like it cause that feeds the fear
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