Anyone Else?

My brain is telling me to actually k***/hurt someone or listen to my intrusive thoughts because that’s why it keeps coming back to my head cus I’m not acting out on them and I should do it…. I feel so tripped out and confused and they keep like legit fucking urges… this is my second flare from 4 years ago and I’m scared it’s coming back just because I didn’t act out them last time… like what if it’s back in the future??

milkstakes

Date posted: 2y

I'm going to tell you a secret: your OCD is doing this because it feels desperate that you are not listening to it. No matter what it says, no matter how much it tries to convince you that this is what you want, NOBODY who would want to engage in these behaviours would feel so distressed by the thought of doing just that. You are not experiencing urges. You are experiencing fleeting, phantom emotions to lend credence to your thoughts. But your thoughts and their contents don't matter. What matters is how you respond to them. Let yourself feel confused. Let yourself feel afraid. Sit with yourself. Through all this, let your mind stay where it is. Don't argue back. Don't try and block the thoughts. Take deep breaths and allow yourself to be. You will best this. It will be hard, but you're showing signs of immense progress already. Be proud of yourself

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@milkstakes It’s so crazy to me how know has acted on their thoughts no matter how strong these thoughts are … idk I’m scared this will be back in the future :(

milkstakes

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous - It may come back. Unfortunately it's very likely it will So what can you do? Don't change the thoughts, or try to, just allow them to come, and treat them for what they are; thoughts. Images, like a clip show. Things you have no control over. Things that have nothing to do with who you are as a person Think of it like a violent movie when you get these thoughts. They're as real as Arnie S beating up the predator. Take away the fear and you take away the power. Easier said than done, I know . . . But with time it will get easier

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@milkstakes thanks :( I thought this theme I was over with but now this is driving me insane. I’m trying to sit w them and starting erp soon but I don’t have have compulsions more like … more obsessive in my brain. Regardless I hope I never have another flare up in my future :)

Ocdlife123

Date posted: 2y

@milkstakes Hey i like this advice, Is it possible for ocd to make you confused on who you “now” are as a person, or if your values have changed and you are this person and want to do the thoughts? Struggling with this as people always say they “know” they dont want to act the thoughts, i used to know that too now im confused if i do or dont, surely i should know i dont want to though?

Fruitsnacks

Date posted: 2y

I also feel like my ocd thoughts are urges but it’s a trick anxiety plays on us. it’s actually your anxiety that’s happening, not any type of secret urges. we will get through this

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@My OCD Academia I feel that’s the only way my brain will calm down … if I don’t act in my urges… WHAT IF I SNAP

Fruitsnacks

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous ah the “what if” thoughts. I get soooo many of those. Those are the ones that keep you in an OCD loop because it’s a never ending cycle. If you get a what if thought. Leave it as so. Be comfortable with the unknown and that’s what will drive OCD away.

AnonymousOne...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w

I don't know what's happening...

I feel like the thoughts are telling me, "You want this, you want to be attracted to kids" when I know that's not the case. I've been stuck ruminating for the past couple of days and I'm so worried about this disorder convincing me that I'm something I've never been. I try not to fight it, but when I don't it feels like I'm giving into it like it's true. The meds I'm on keep me from being super depressed, but it's still there. I feel like I'm going to act on my thoughts one day and it worries me. I don't feel like myself anymore and I don't know if this is progress or a relapse. Even when having intercourse with my partner, I had to thought block because the thoughts were images while in the middle of it. Then afterwards, they came flooding in saying that I was doing it as a distraction. I don't know what else to do. I try to pinpoint all of my triggers, but sometimes I don't think I even have any. I feel like a monster. I'm honestly scared.

lu22

Date posted: 24w

Harm ocd come back

Suddenly I started ruminating again but I no longer get bad anxiety over the thoughts but it feels like the ‘urges’ are still there and it’s making it seem more real that these are true. Why am I having urges without the anxiety or it’s weird like i don’t even know when im anxious maybe i got use to the feeling of being anxious but it feels too real and I get these weird thought that are like ‘imagine you was evil anyways’ or ‘imagine you want to be but your in denial’ or the worst makes it feel like you would like acting on the thoughts even if you choose not to do it and it feels really real. The thoughts are about stabbing and it felt so real and I started imaging it on purpose to ‘test’ myself but it doesn’t ever feel like I hate it enough or don’t want it like I feel numb to everything and it feels really real like I want it or do want to do it but I’m just choosing not to and it’s scary but I use to get so much anxiety over this and now nothing now it feels like I don’t even feel like I ‘hate’ it or I should know that I don’t want to do that? Instead of sitting there experimenting with the thoughts to see. I want it to feel like I don’t want it and don’t like it I constantly feel like I’m lying about not wanting this, but it’s concerning me a lot because it feels so real that I like it or want it and there was one point where it felt like it was about to happen and that I wanted it and now that’s made me think there is something wrong with me or that I want to give in to it 🙁 please I don’t belive anything I don’t even belive I am sad it feels so real that it was about to happen or I wanted it and I don’t know what to do I was fine before and suddenly I started ruminating and now this

Catlove9

Date posted: 23w

I need guidance or to feel like I am not alone

I was doing so much better with my OCD. I thought I finally figured it out. However, the last two weeks have been a nightmare. It’s like I went from 0-100 all over again. And it’s become scarier than it ever has been. Every other thought is either causing me anxiety or turning into an intrusive thought. Any headache or feeling of derealization, and I start to spiral. My thoughts are becoming more gruesome and feeling more real. The intrusive urges are so bad it feels like at any moment I could actually just snap. It feels like I am about to go crazy. Another hard aspect is when I’m getting these intrusive urges it feels like I want to do it or I don’t care if I do it. I don’t feel like myself. I feel like this disgusting monster who is just going to lose it and I want it to be over. Why is this happening when I was finally better? It makes me feel like it’s not OCD and I’m actually this person and I’m just holding my true self back. I’m sick to my stomach.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Anyone Else?

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community