Still Struggling with Existential OCD

I want to start by saying ERP has helped me immensely, especially with things that invovlve an action, such as fear of stabbing myself. That being said, I still struggle with some "truths" about existing. For example, we are all going to die, we don't know what will happen when we die, and we know very little about reality, etc. These and many other existantial thoughts can be very disparaging and make me fear that I will never love life like I once did. OCD keeps trying to convinve me that it is right and life is horrible and not to be cherished because of these existential fears. For those of you who have struggled with similar thoughts/fears what did you find worked best? I could be wrong, but I feel existential fears are particularly pernicious.

Ocdeeznuts55

Date posted: 2y

I totally feel you, I used to struggle with these same existential themes before I was actually diagnosed. I thought I was just having an existential crisis but only now realize it was OCD. I had accepted those truths and my attitude is ‘well life is meaningless and we’ll all die anyway, so I might as well make the most of every day you have and live in the present as much as possible, because that’s all that matters’. And that’s still how I view life. But OCD would always come in with the intrusive thoughts and I’d ruminate on it constantly. I eventually realized that it was the thinking about it was the problem and so I started learning mediation to help to just try to live in the present. Those fears may always be there, but that doesn’t mean you still can’t live life to the fullest. Now my OCD has switched themes and I’m not really bothered by the existential thoughts. I get them occasionally but if anything they’re more of a motivator to get out and pursue the things that I love to do! I agree with naturelover too, being in nature with friends is one of the things that brings me the most joy and appreciation for being alive right now

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Thank you! Yes, that is my outlook too, tbh, and I used to be very okay with it. I know I have to stop engaging with the thoughts. What resources did you use to practice meditation?

Ocdeeznuts55

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous I use an app called Headspace and I’d highly recommend it! It’s subscription based but you can try it for free. Its great for learning because it has tons of guided meditations to learn the basic techniques and apply them to different areas of your life.

Naturelover5

Date posted: 2y

Don’t worry, you’re not alone, one way I got into a more positive outlook on life is that, we are here today being able to be alive and wake up that in itself is a blessing, it’s more than lots of people can say. We are here breathing and being able to talk to others about our problem on this app to get help, we are granted one more day, and yes we don’t know when we will die, but trying to make the most of everyday, because if we wait for that day to come, we have missed so many potential opportunities in our lives that could of made it so much better. I especially loved going outside more and just listening to nature has helped me a lot on appreciating life. But it’s not for everyone! These are just suggestions. I hope it works out for you

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I do agree that getting out in nature helps a lot! Lately though, I have a long commute to work though and it gives my brain too much time 😆 I'm planning lots of outside time this summer though!

FrenchFrog

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous My brain works non stop when I commute too!

imsonocd

Date posted: 23w

Any tips on Existential OCD?

I’m really struggling with this theme because it can make me feel “fake” and it creates doubts that the world around me isn’t real or it’s a simulation? I’m really trying to expose myself but even the possibility makes me incredibly afraid. It even plays into my suicidal ocd as well and makes me afraid that my life would be miserable if this was true. I know how ocd works and I know not to fully believe that. But at the same time, I am trapped in doubt and fear. How could I possibly accept this? Will I ever see the world or life the same again? (Don’t answer that I realize that’s reassurance). Idk this theme is so ass.

djflorio

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21w

How ERP helped when I was afraid of existence itself

I used to get caught in a loop with existential thoughts very frequently. Every question made my stomach drop: (TW: existential questions) … … ... "Why does anything exist at all? What will death be like? Is anything even real? Is there any meaning to this? Is the universe infinitely big, and if not, what's beyond it? Are there multiverses? Has the universe been around forever? Will the universe end for good, or will it keep going forever? What is forever like? What even IS reality?" It would get so overwhelming that I remember lying on the floor in a fetal position for hours because I felt like there was no escape. I spent most of my days reading articles and watching videos about theoretical astrophysics and philosophy in a desperate attempt to "figure it all out." Of course that only made me more anxious, raised more questions, and kept me trapped in the cycle. Things started to improve once I learned to turn TOWARD reality, rather than away from it, and ERP really helped me do that. I learned that these questions weren't the problem. I learned that I can actually handle the anxiety that arises when exposed to these ideas and concepts. I don't have to figure anything out to make the anxiety go away; it arises and passes away on its own. Ironically, bringing myself into the present moment and becoming more aware of reality helped me escape the cycle of existential dread. Because of that, this topic no longer takes over my life. If I'm triggered by something I see, hear, or think, I may still feel a little twang of anxiety, but then it just goes away. "Maybe, maybe not" has been the single most useful phrase of my life. Do you ever get trapped in a cycle of existential questions? Are you worried that the ERP approach would be too scary to handle? If so, I'm happy to give my advice.

Existential OCD

mandiocd

Date posted: 20w

Existential ocd help please.

m at the point where every night I contemplate going to the ER for my terrible thoughts. For the past 2.5 years I’ve been struggling with extremely bad existential ocd/nihilism. One day I woke up and had a nihilistic thought and since that day I’ve had severe nihilistic and suicidal thoughts. I truly don’t wanna do anything because in the end we die. In the end life is meaningless because we die. I feel almost delusional bc these thoughts feel true. Anything I do my brain goes “why are you doing this? It’s not gonna matter” I’m getting married in June and I don’t feel anything. I don’t wanna do anything. I don’t care to. I have to quit my RN job at the hospital because of this terrible theme. I don’t see a point in anything. Life doesn’t make sense. Death terrifies me. And life feels meaningless. My life is ruined. I hate ocd I hate it.

Existential OCD

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