Confession - cheating ocd

I have this thought where i think ive chested on my partner 2 years ago when drunk at a party I really really dont think it happened because i only had the thought a few months ago “what if i cheated at this party with this guy who i barely even know” I see a future with my boyfriend and i don’t want to confess but i just feel like i have to JUST IJ CASE but i know it could hurt him so much and it probably didnt even happen I cant just ask the guy who i think i cheated with because were not friends and dont speak so if i message he will think im some freak Anyone in a similar boat or overcome this I just don’t know how i can move forward without confessing

Username: This sucksThis sucks

Date posted: 1y ago

Hi I'm so sorry you're going through this. This is very difficult and can feel overwhelming. I would suggest to not "confess" because that's what ocd wants you to do and this will only feed into the fire. I have gone through this myself and how I handled it was, at first I gave myself a couple weeks to just come back to it. I said okay this is what my brain is telling me but I won't act on it and I'll wait 2-3 weeks. In that window the urge to just say it so I can just be done with it was very strong and overwhelming. The anxiety was skyrocketing but please just hang in there it will be so worth it in the end. When your ocd sees that you don't care anymore and you don't react or act to that thought then it releases and goes away. After a couple days when my ocd saw that I wasn't paying attention to the thought the ocd thoughts went away. The other thing I told myself that helped was that even if you're drunk, if something happened you'd remember or you would feel bad the next morning you know? The fact that these thoughts came 2 years later is even more proof that it's your ocd trying to scare you. It can see that you really love your bf and that he's very important to you so your brain is trying to self sabotage. Another thing you could do, if your bf knows about your ocd, is to explain to him what your brain is telling you. I usually start by saying, "hey I want to talk to you because my ocd is making me feel very overwhelmed. I'm having intrusive thoughts and my brain is telling me x,y,z, I know these are irrational thoughts and that my brain is trying to scare me and I'd just like to talk about them with you so that you could help me see things in a logical way" Another thing you could do is write it down on a piece of paper. Write every detail your brain is telling you and then you'll be able to see it in a different perspective. Usually things are bigger in our heads than they are on paper. Best of luck my friend

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

@This sucks Thank you so much for this! Its so helpful, i currently am going through erp but this particular thought has really stuck with me for months, i haven’t told my boyfriend as i dont want to confess to something i haven’t done and i don’t think he will fully get it - he may think i actually cheated and i cba to go through that hassle

Username: OcdHater5OcdHater5

Date posted: 1y ago

if it hasn’t come up in over 2 years isn’t it possible it didn’t happen at all? keep in mind ocd tricks your brain, stay strong & fight back

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

@OcdHater5 Yes thats what is keeping me from confessing! I dont want ocd to win!

Username: Landon!Landon!

Date posted: 1y ago

Does your BF know about your OCD? You can explain to him that it is a OCD thought if you tell him

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

@Landon! He does! But not the specific thoughts just that its about relationship stuff

Username: Adrianna Adrianna

Date posted: 1y ago

I have this thought as welll but I think I “cheated” when someone who I use to hang out with that was obsessed with me but I never actually liked him. But I remember some of the night but the specific moment where I think i “cheated” I can’t remember & it makes me more scared. I freak out. I told my boyfriend about it and i constantly have to ask him for reassurance that he won’t leave me if it comes true. It’s horrible I feel like I’m in a nightmare. I’m also In ERP therapy it’s making my anxiety worse which I know is the point. I just noticed this post was awhile ago lol I hope you’re doing better now ❤️

Username: Anonymous444444

Date posted: 2y ago

What should I tell her?

I know we can't ask for reassurance, but I need some opinions from others who understand OCD :( When my gf and I had just gone official, I had another friend who I was close with that I think had feelings for me. When I was drunk one night I called her after she left to pick me up and go to her apartment. My friend told me it was just to keep drinking because my roommate had gone to sleep in the living room, but I was so drunk I can't fully remember and feel I was making the call to fool around. Another time a few weeks later we squeezed hands while very drunk again. I've since stopped drinking and hanging out with this person, and even told my gf what happened. However I didn't go into detail about the fact that I think I might have been trying to cheat or had slightly developed feelings, just told her I felt like I had cheated by making that call at all. She took it really well but I don't feel she understands the severity, and thinks it was mostly the other girl making advances. It scares me so much because I did kiss another girl during my previous relationship yeears ago in college (my current gf doesn't know about this), so I'm scared I'm doing bad again. I feel like I need to confess and fully explain what exactly I'm worried about, and that I think the only thing that stopped me from actually cheating is that she didn't pick me up, but at this point I'm not sure if that's a compulsion or not. How do I know? Do I just confess again? I've confessed multiple times to her and it's def put a strain on things :(

Username: olivia1997

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Confessing everything to partner?

I have dealt with ocd confessing for quite a few years now but I have the urge to confess everything bad I’ve ever done to my partner and I’m scared if we get married that I’m not being honest if I don’t tell him about my past - (sleeping around) there was also a cross over where I was speaking to another guy whilst me and my current partner were getting to know each other. I have also spoke to a few guys in the club or pub (only friendly conversations, no flirting) whilst we have been in a relationship which I didn’t think was a big deal at the time but I feel like I’m going to end up loosing him by confessing everything I’ve ever done when I know it’s not a big deal in hindsight, I feel physically sick about this. Does anyone have advise or similar experience?

Username: Coffeelover11

Date posted: 1y ago

Anyone else experience this?

Does anyone struggle with real event ocd and having to confess to their partner? I have so many regrets on things I’ve either done or thought and feel like I can’t move on or be better until I’ve been forgiven for them. Mostly things that happened a couple years ago and I don’t know why it’s all of a sudden bothering me now but it makes me feel like I’m the worst person ever. I’m even questioning how I thought or felt during that time and I’m confessing to thoughts or things I may or may not have done or thought. It’s so confusing and I feel trapped in my own head. If anyone has any tips I would appreciate it. Thank you for you time

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Confession - cheating ocd

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