The goal of ERP

Is the goal of ERP to become indifferent to the thoughts or to just accept that certainty is not a given? I have been struggling with suicidal thoughts the past week that I am so scared of them that it instantly drives me into a panic attack. As soon as one of those thoughts jumps into my thinking I instantly am petrified that I am suicidal, have a desire to kill myself, or that I am beyond help now. Everything in my body tells me to fight it, be scared of it cause only people who want to commit suicide have these thoughts so strongly Thoughts such as: You will never be free so you should end it now You want to kill yourself Only people who want to commit suicide walk around with these thoughts. I have been using my ERP Statement of “maybe I am maybe I am not” in 10 min increments a couple times a day. So is the goal to truly not know if you are or not and just be ok with that or will the ERP give the clarity so you can ultimately say yes or no? Lately today tue anxiety when I use my disengagement statement my anxiety goes down periodically and I am not as scared. I know these are simple questions but I am really trying to understand and move away from this fear of facing these thoughts without having panic attacks.

Ihateocd72

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Hi! I hope you’re okay. I ⚠️⚠️⚠️have severe suicidal ocd and I’ve had your thoughts, much more, and much worse. I’ve had them hit me from every angle to seem real, attack even little things and assign little actions meaning. I have an intense fear of death and dying which is why it attacks me so hard. It does get easier. I’ve been having these thoughts for 6 weeks straight every day all day lol. Ive only known its ocd for 2-3 weeks. When I don’t get scared by them anymore, it will use that against me as well, telling me that I am not afraid because I like the thoughts and think they are good ideas. I have a photographic memory so everything I’ve compulsively searched or read for reassurance, my ocd has grabbed onto it and used it against me, no matter what it is. Even stuff I read or saw 7 years ago on the internet are picture perfect in my mind being recited. So, ERP for me is mostly sitting with the thoughts and letting them cause me distress to decrease response which is the whole point of ERP: to take power away from the thought. I have harm ocd too so my mom has forced me to hold things I consider a danger, such as knives, pills. I’m still working on it as sitting with the thoughts causes me more panic than holding dangerous items out of fear they’ll convince me but it gets better slowly.

CIngram

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Thank you so much. I also have a photographic and identic memory which is a definitely a curse when it comes to OCD lol. I think the thing I am still trying to understand is that not all thoughts have a deep meaning to them.

Heyoo

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I have such a similar nature of thoughts that will attack me and also others. My brain will say things like you want to hurt yourself you want to hurt others. You should do it. Etc and it’s so so so draining. I’ve been dealing with it full throttle for a few months now but even just being told it was OCD was so helpful and reassuring for me because I thought I was a crazy violent person. From what my NOCD therapist has told me the point of the ERP is to get to the place where the thought doesn’t have much meaning. It won’t distress as much and we can learn to feel safe even with the thoughts. Hang in there I know we will all get some relief ❤️

iLounge21

Date posted: 21w

ERP for Existential OCD?

Been struggling with existential OCD lately. Very hard to describe the thoughts/feelings, but it is a constant feeling of being stuck in my head. Like what is consciousness and where do I think from? Like I think it’s OCD, maybe it is maybe it isn’t. But if it is, what would be good ERP exercises? Just existing (lol)? And what would be my response prevention? I’m not even sure what mental compulsions I may be doing.

Existential OCD

anonymousgg

Date posted: 18w

Confused about "accepting" thoughts for ERP

I've been told a lot that in order to get better, we need to tolerate uncertainty, which yea I get that and I'm trying every day more and more to reach that point!! But I've also been told that we need to tolerate uncertainty AND "our worst fears becoming true". Like how does that work, especially with POCD, OCD about a///ault, SA and all of that? Like that is really difficult for me and I don't really understand how I'm supposed to just shrug stuff like that off

hbocd

Date posted: 17w

ERP Therapy

I read about ERP and have seen information about it on here. One of the goals is to say, "maybe I am this or that...ect." That terrified me. The thoughts and images that go in my head are disturbing and upsetting. I don't want to even think about saying, "maybe this or that." It's devasting to have these thoughts and question why you're having these thoughts. Doesn't the "maybe" make it worse? The one thing that helps me is that is to remind myself that these are just thoughts and I know I'm not a monster, even if I feel like one. Is ERP not for everyone? Has anyone else had a problem with the techniques used in this kind of therapy? I had cognitive therapy for years with an OCD specialist and that seemed to help a lot. Writing out the worst case scenarios would make me suicidal. Im having a difficult time not obsessing over the "maybe" after intrusive thoughts now. It doesn't make it better.

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The goal of ERP

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