Trying to figure things out

Hi there, I just downloaded the app yesterday in hopes of guidance. For me, I believe I may have recently learned I have OCD several weeks ago. In looking through what has occured, I believe I might be struggling with Hit and Run OCD. Roughly two weeks ago, I was driving to meet my friends with the window down and radio on. I looked to adjust the radio briefly in combination with hearing a child outside. While the thought occured if I may have hit a child, I continued to drive thinking nothing of it. Closer to my destination, I became more and more panicked, and involved looking at my car for any new damage or blood on the tires. Even though nothing was noticeable, since then it has been dehabilitating with checking news and police reports, mental reassurance, etc. Then two days ago, when driving through a parking garage, I ran over what logically would be a speed bump (checking that the garage has speed bumps in multiple areas) and did my best not to check and continue to my destination. However, I can't remember exactly when I hit that speed bump, so I'm panicked over another possible hit and run scenario I was unsure of. Even now, I have doubts about my dented license plate from years ago was new and from a pedestrian, or even if I have OCD at all and am using this as an excuse of some sort. My apologies for the long winded response, as I am researching and trying to put ERP into practice, but any guidance would be extremely grateful.

VGH

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Hi, so glad you are here! You should explore the content on NOCD's YouTube channel, there is so much valuable information there. Jeff Bell's book (Rewind, Replay, Repeat) was so helpful for me, you too may find it helpful https://a.co/d/9tOx5tu So, OCD, no matter what the content is, "hit and run" "harm" "SO OCD" etc., is all about uncertainty. A person with OCD will be uncertain about something (obsession), this will cause much distress in the form of thoughts/feelings/urges and any attempts to relieve the uncertainty (even if it's just thinking about it - trying to solve the "problem") is a compulsion. Compulsions, trying to relieve uncertainty, is actually what keeps us stuck in the OCD cycle. It sounds to me like you are trying to not do actual checking compulsions (checking car, road, etc.) but be careful that you are not running it through your mind, trying to remember, figure it out, etc. That was a subtle compulsion I was doing. I finally realized (with the help of my therapist) that after I had stopped the physical checking, I would reassure myself, "Oh it's only OCD". Ethan Smith (another really great resource for OCD education) always says "You have to be willing to accept your biggest fear may be true." I know that sounds harsh and impossible, but that was the quickest way for me to stop all compulsions (even the subtle ones that are difficult to catch). If possible, reach out to NOCD for their 15 minute free call. Therapy with an OCD specialist was life changing for me. I know that's a lot of info, but you are in the right place! All the best :)

WJHyde2

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

This is definitely helpful. I'll see how scheduling a call goes. Thank you!

Lauren9130

Date posted: 2y

Hi, I can definitely relate because I was struggling at a point with reality and what was going on in my mind and I started to believe what my mind was telling me. It was an endless cycle. One thing I included in my struggle was a camera, I was able to look at that and be 100% assured everything was fine because I was seeing it for my own eyes. Maybe, if this would be helpful, get a dash cam? Just for the time being. That way, if you feel yourself panicking that something may have happened you can look at the recording and be assured without a doubt nothing did. It has tremendously helped me and I found I’m no longer dancing around that line of what’s real and what isn’t.

Lauren9130

Date posted: 2y

@Lauren9130 I’ve also begun therapy with a specialist in OCD, trauma, and mindfulness.

WJHyde2

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@Lauren9130 That is strong advice to be considered. I definitely want to give therapy a shot either through here or elsewhere. Depending on how that goes, a dash cam might be beneficial.

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