Am I ok does God understand I'm trying to get clos

I relaize that I can confess on the phone am I going to be ok does God know I was really scared and trying to get help from priests? Let me explain, I have OCD and I get very worried easily expectfuly on the internet, I was trying to do research expectfuly about blasphemy against the holy spirit, I learn if you are afraid you might did it then you didn't do it at all, which I was thankful until I had an intrusive thought about it, I panic I was scared, I said "No God isn't evil he is good he is good, I was scared to ask family's and friends so the only thing that came in my mind priest. So I went to a website to ask a couple of priest in different countries, I ask a question about it and how scared I was, most explain I'll be ok, one even prayed for me, and one let me confess about that thought I had in my head I explain, he said I was going to be fine and just not directly say it to him, I thank him and hang up then I looked at the sky and I said to God " I wasn't saying bad about you I was explaining my thought to a priest" and my anxiety got worse I was posting everywhere, asking people asking them if I'm going to be ok, I even explain to my mom, she explains I'm fine, I went to my step dad, he explains I'm fine, then I got worried and curious, so I asked Google and it says you can't, I freaked out I was so upset freaking out, and I was so upset that I upset God that I did that, my mom explains I'm fine and I'm ok she even explains that at least they were nice enough to let me know I'll be ok, I even ask my grandmother, she even said I'm ok and we're gonna talk more, I'm still freaking out, I love my Lord and savior and I'm worried I did something wrong I expectfuly not following the rules expectfuly doing research on Google about it, am I going to be ok I'm freaking out, I been hugging my bible, asking arc Micheal to get rid negative, I even keep repeating God loves me, and I love him, I'm trying so hard to be a good Christian I'm just so scared what I have done is scaring me, am I going to be ok I'm so scared I'm very scared, does God know I'm trying?

Faith over fear

Date posted: 2y

Look up scrupulosity.com is it really helpful along with the book I believe in Love from St.Therese’s writings. It talks about God’s immense love for us. I too struggle with this kind of OCD as a Catholic and it helps me to remember God is on my side. Whatever fears and troubles we have he is walking beside us he’s not against us. God is just but he is more Merciful than we deserve. Many saints had these same struggles OCD attaches its self to what is most important to you and what you love. God knows your heart and he knows your struggles.

victoriagreenn

Date posted: 2y

I’ve had moments where those thoughts were so strong I was convinced too. To this day, those thoughts come back up but what I’m learning or at least trying to do is leave my eternity in his hands. Understanding and accepting worst case scenario even though I believe it’s not possible for a believer to commit the unforgivable sin. I decide to leave my fate with God and trust that He is for me not against me. A big thing that has helped with that is trying to stop myself from seeking reassurance to gather some sort of certainty (which truly has never came) and instead just accepting and trusting. It’s hard but the more you do it, the better it gets at least for me. Sometimes I fall more than I’d like to but trust in the process. I hope this helps.

@Blue5Standi...

Date posted: 2y

I agree that seeking reassurance isn’t a great way to escape your thoughts, even if it can feel good in the moment (I fall into that trap too sometimes). Try to ask yourself: if you were in God’s shoes, would the devotion you show be enough? Asking so many people in your life, including multiple priests, speaking with him to show your devotion, and writing this post here out of worry. The answer on whether it would be enough should stare you in the face, but it’s up to you to answer it. I understand your fears though. One issues I ran into with religion is that every sect and individual follower has a different stance or view on different issues. Your devotion speaks for itself, it’s up to you to hear it. I wish you the best in your struggle

Starve_The M...

Date posted: 18w

To my Christian brothers and sisters

Hi I have a question. I love jesus he changed my life and Made me a better person but my ocd loves to confuse me so I have a problem where I remember something in the past and I repented ofc but not it makes me question my intentions and my ocd always puts the are you lying to God card which makes me super scared and then doubt occurs and I'm so exhausted I misinterpret a lot like the voice of God I keep hearing tell the truth and repent now that's it all Good if it were true see ik I'm telling the truth not because of some feeling it's because ocd's version is so ridiculous but It feels soo real I just Want go to God without feeling this fear if I'm lying to him and I fear if somehow I'm wrong. So much anxiety and questions like what if that is gods voice what if I'm wrong pls pray for me and I see videos and I'm scared if that video was sent to me by God telling me to "tell the truth" I say that because my ocd is causing me to doubt the truth being that ocd is wrong

Anonymous

Date posted: 5w

My mind seems to be imploding in on itself

So, alot has changed. I'm Christian and currently believe we are in the end of times. It's changed my whole perspective on life. I quit my job and moved back in with family, starting to go to church, apologized to those I hurt except, one person who I talked to two family members and they told me to delete the message and with my other apology ( that i also believed was God telling me to confess in 2020) i lied at some parts because of shame and confusing myself most likely intentionally. I confessed everything to my dad and he says since i turned from it, repented, that i need to let it go and continue forward. Since then, my minds been saying that I'm outside of God's will and everything's gone down hill. I had also prayed that God exposed me and now it's like all this evil and wickedness that feels like it's coming out of my heart settles into my chest. I've prayed to God, worshipped to God, but thoughts and images of being sent to hell or my loved ones pops into my head and I've gone to sleep twice each night accepting the fact that because of me not doing so may have doomed me and my loved ones and I feel scared that I got so tired and stopped fighting it. I've had ocd since I was 7 but it just is so scary because it's hitting down to the wire and I'm scared that I was never a child of God at all I mean I have iniquity I thought I repented for but people I love still struggle with what I've done and I prayed for them and tried to help them and suggest therapy but I haven't did what I could to make it right like I should've. But these images and thoughts they're horrible. I feel like I'm against God truly and I'm like Lord change the circumstances and I won't resist so that I can preach Your word and everyday I feel like I'm gambling. It's like every thought is biblical for the most part. I don't want to kill myself cuz what if I have a chance that God will have mercy on me but....

Anonymous

Date posted: 5w

Questions for my Christian ocd sufferers

I put a trigger warning because I will be discussing themes of end of times. I feel like I'm not following God's will. God knows ultimately that things were going to speed up end of times wise. A few months ago, I had a random thought to call someone I had affected with past sin and apologize to him although I did not know he was there, my sin affected him. I know he deserves an apology, but I chalked it up to ocd and treated it as such for months fast forward to now I feel like I'm completely against God. Horrifying. It's a complex situation I caused and therefore though I know he deserves an apology I'm really scared as I created a mess of things. I've been praying that God help certain things come to fruition so I could be exposed and help minister to others if that's what He's calling me to do but no answer. Instead horrible images and thoughts and feelings of doom. I see signs to apologize everywhere. I'm at my wits end. Because I tend to get ahead of myself I asked two family members and they said don't and then I see things that say Though people in your life mean well, don't go based on what they say only what God says. I tell God to do His will and I'll follow, do you think He'll listen. I even told Him I straight up don't want to do it, not because He doesn't deserve one, but because last time I apologized to someone else I didn't do it right and it was messy. I feel so evil, like a wolf in sheep's clothing. I also remember looking up morbid things for what???? Only to be disturbed pray about it and leave by why search it up again? I also fantasized alot about guys I've been single forever, late 20s now, I'm trying to go to church and my crush is there and I try to stop thinking about him because I know it's delusional but the thoughts don't leave. I'm so tired I want to stop but stop what? Living? I want to stick to God as close as possible. I'm going crazy.

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