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Hi Henry, thank you for sharing your story. I am struggling so badly right now with what I think is ROCD. I struggle with doubting my relationship and how I feel for my boyfriend. We have been together for 1 year 6 mos. I question if I'm in love and if I'm attracted to him. We have talked about getting married but now I'm full of fear and anxiety whenever the subject comes up. The fear and anxiety are so bad that I'm physically sick on most days. I get nauseous and can't eat. I'm so afraid that this anxiety is an indication that something is wrong. I get hung up on my bfs flaws and keep wondering if I'm in love where I can marry him. This is the worst feeling!!!

Did/does your ROCD make you hyper aware and hypercritical of your wife’s flaws?

Hey Henry, It is so sweet of you to answer all these questions, honestly pro book because clearly we all are inspired by your knowledge! I think I may have rOCD, which I was diagnosed with OCD early on but this is the first time I have had obsessive compulsive thoughts regarding my partner. Most times my OCD takes a pure form, so it’s hard to differentiate sometimes. My partner and I recently got married and are currently on our honeymoon and for some reason I am so anxious whenever he brings up wife or does anything loving. He’s by far the best person I have ever met and takes care of me more than anyone has but similar to others in this post I’m hyper focused on his appearance, the feelings I have for him, and get so anxious over thinking that this is a new phase of life and question if this is what I wanted. My problem here is I’m having a hard time differentiating “are these real thoughts, or OCD thoughts?” I was curious if maybe you had similar experiences or if maybe I need to reanalyze my life? 😅

I feel like I am on my way to getting a lot better. I am feeling so much happier these days but I still get anxious around my SO for no reason. I have learned to say I am just being anxious and that’s all this is and it doesn’t mean anything more but it still scares me. Will things one day be peaceful again? It feels so close but like there is just something there stopping me from loving him how I want to before my anxiety.

Hello, firstly, congratulations to you and your partner, this is so encouraging to hear. I too suffer from rOCD and a lot of the time, it’s partner focused which brings up a lot of feelings of guilt and distress. Any advice on how to deal with rOCD flare ups that focus on physical attraction/flaws in particular?

Hello! I recently got diagnosed with ROCD and I was wondering if finding someone attractive and obsessing over that person and then thinking well why am i finding someone other than my partner attractive is normal? I have a friend who i acknowledge is attractive and sometimes i’ll obsess about it. i love my boyfriend and only want to be with him but i was wondering if this was normal with ROCD

I also find myself arguing with my partner a little more frequently. I feel bad because I know some of the issues I bring up are not a big deal and most of them aren’t “big” it’s just small things that I need to be reassured on. I’m just worried this is creating a “cried wolf” situation where he feels bombarded by criticism because now he seems to react strongly to a small point that bothers me. I know I can work this out with him but I just wonder if you have gone through anything similar. I know that this can amplify how important things feel. Sometimes I feel like I need to ask him even if I’m pretty sure I know the answer.

Did you feel hopeless at times? If you did what did you do

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Hi could you help me out here? What do you do when your brain can’t recognize your partner anymore? Like you just can’t recognize him?