- Date posted
- 2y
Why is this happening so often now?
Yet again another "did you wash your hands after the bathroom" thought, like... I ALWAYS do, always have. There's lots of suds in the bathroom drain catch this time when I looked... I even caved and took a picture, though brain is doubting the "timeline"/was that the same trip/etc. I did wash (again!) in the kitchen, but that was because I was getting lunch, not because of doubt. I am so confused. I don't understand where this is coming from. I also had the thought, "what if I didn't and am making excuses by blaming anxiety brain? What if I am not "doing exposures" by Lysol wiping everything and am just becoming a scuzzball..." I don't WANT to be dirty and contaminate stuff, I desperately do NOT want to make anyone sick!! I KNOW I wash my hands, and then my forearm, then hands again--every time! My hands are dry and cracked for hope's sake! Where is this sudden doubt oozing from? Is it because it got to me the first couple times? Did I just react badly? This is now the third or fourth time in just over a week or so that this has happened--within my entire living memory. I don't get it. It's actually starting to scare me. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Ok, girl. Just breathe. Be firm. You know your habits. It's one of those things I just DO and always have-- don't need to question it. I just don't. Good grief. Anyone have any advice, or similar experiences?