Pocd and false memories and real event OCD

Can false memories just suddenly appear? For my real events memories, they suddenly appeared except I didnt question it because with my real events OCD, the real events actually happened… when it comes to today… I was enjoying a movie and I got triggered by intrusive thoughts of doing stuff to a baby and then all of a sudden i got a graphic image of it and it sent me into an anxiety attack… i dont remember doing that to any kid and i dont ever want to… its giving me intrusive thoughts of doing that “when i was 8-9” when i dont remember ever doing that or ever wanting to do that… plus its making me think that since i have real events OCD, that those intrusive thoughts are actually “real memories” when i dont remember ever doing those intrusive thoughts…

nate01

Date posted: 2y

Hey, I’m not a therapist but I did erp so I thought I would share some of my person insight. First of all you got to know a thought is a thought by giving it meaning you are making nothing into something. Ocd attacks your values so it can make you have some bizarre thoughts hence the false memories that could occur. When I did my erp I had to expose myself to my fears a lot of the time I used sentences for example I used to think I would shrink in height which through erp I started using things like maybe I’ll shrink or I will shrink which caused more anxiety in the moment but through exposing myself to this it doesn’t effect me anymore. For that thought you had today you could say to yourself the false memory could’ve happened.

Givenup

Date posted: 2y

@nate01 What if you did something extremely horrible as a child that you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (3 times) from when I was 13…… I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rapist at all… I was 13 when these real events happened and now I'm 20... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo... I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15… and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭 and I get intrusive thoughts of people calling me a P and a chomo and me getting arrested… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo… the real events happened only 3 times and I really didn’t know how horrible it was… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… I don’t want to ever be attracted to or harm kids in any way… 😭😭😭

Givenup

Date posted: 2y

@nate01 @Morgan28 I… I looked at homosexual explicit anime content a couple times when i was 14… I had no idea what sexuality was at the time… and my hocd has triggered me with it… I had no idea what sexuality was at the time and i was also addicted to explicit content at the time… i dont ever want to be homosexual or bisexual at all… in any way… and this is POCD related too because this was a very wide known explicit anime that involved very young characters… i dont ever want to ever be a P or a chomo at all in any way… I remember when i pleasured myself to explicit content involving a man and a woman when i was 12-13… and i finished at the same time the dude did… my hocd is saying im in denial for this… I had no idea what sexuality was or anything like that… my first ever crush was a woman and i always want it to be women… i dont ever want to be attracted to men in any way shape or form… It was an educational video, so it was showing his privates finishing inside of the woman... i dont ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual at all… Its making me feel like im not anxious of triggering thoughts when i try to check my reaction too… i dont ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual at all… When i think about beautiful attractive women, i feel happy and relaxed… actually comfortable… when i see guys, get intrusive thoughts about guys, or intrusive feelings, it makes me feel so anxious and uncomfortable… Its making me think i wanted to finish at the same time as the guy in the video… i dont think i was attracted to him because when he moaned in the video i remember feeling turned off by it… i dont ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual at all… I remember finishing when the guy did… his privates were shown when he was finishing… i dont ever want to ever be attracted to guys in any way shape or form in my lifetime… I also remember that i wasnt attracted to the guy at all… I just wanted to finish when he did because I wanted to keep up the same pace… I dont ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual at all…

Givenup

Date posted: 2y

@nate01 I hope i havent upset you…

nate01

Date posted: 2y

Not a therapist. Ur all good, I can tell you are having a lot of anxiety. My recommendation would be therapy for any childhood trauma you may have faced. The ocd aspect of it for example the homosexuality one. You could try using ocd sentences to try to expose yourself to that like what if I am homosexual which may cause more anxiety but overtime it will reduce. I can’t give you reassurance due to it making your ocd worst. Hope any of that was helpful

Givenup

Date posted: 2y

@nate01 I hope i have hocd and pocd… i dont ever want to ever be what my hocd pocd real events ocd and false memories ocd say about me…

amelia:3

Date posted: 25w

how to deal with real event + false memory??

im going to be vague here, but basically i did something in the past that i regret and it became a huge point of my OCD but i have talked to my therapist and i have mostly moved past it. i watched a video by an OCD youtuber that really put it into perspective. anyway, i have been with minimal worry for a few days, but now im having worries related to i think false memory? basically it’s like “oh but what if i said/ did this and just forgot that means i harmed this person im a bad person”. to me it sounds like textbook OCD but im just wondering if anyone else has experienced false memory / real event at the same time. i have a really horrible memory which is making it even more stressful. any responses are appreciated!

eb123456789

Date posted: 23w

Real Event OCD v. False Memory

Does anyone have advice on distinguishing between real event ocd and false memory ocd? If my current obsession is whether this intrusive image in my head is a real memory even though there’s no evidence it is, does that seem more like real event ocd or false memory? I feel like I’m getting into a trap of worrying that I’m obsessing over a real event instead of a false image and keep having thoughts that say “you know you did this” even though I really don’t think I did.

eb123456789

Date posted: 22w

Identifying Intrusive thoughts / false memory

Without trying to seek reassurance, I’m wondering if anyone has insight on identifying an intrusive thought vs reality. Something that’s always really helped ground me in moments of false memory ocd is clearly remembering the exact moment the thought arose and how it started as “what if I cheated and don’t remember.” Then the images come and are extremely distressing, but I’ve always found some comfort in coming back to that moment of “this started as what if.” It feels like my brain is almost getting more creative with the thoughts now, and I’ve been having probably the worst anxiety of my life the past couple months after another intrusive thought entered my mind. I woke up after a night drinking and thought to myself “did you kiss your friend and don’t remember?” (Didn’t happen, undeniably proved). The rest of the day I stayed anxious about other things I could have done and poured over all my memories of the night. Then the next day I finally had found some peace based on all the evidence from my friends who were with me that nothing bad happened. I then thought “what about when you went to the bathroom,” which I hadn’t really been thinking about before, and then my mind immediately started flashing with images of me performing sex acts in the bathroom with some person who has no name, face, details, or anything I remember about interacting with them. I think I’m just concerned that this was a moment of genuine memory recall since I hadn’t been thinking about the bathroom before, and it was more of a sudden flash of images and “did you do that” vs “what if you did that.” I’m wondering how others are able to identify that something is an intrusive thought vs reality.

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Pocd and false memories and real event OCD

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