- Date posted
- 2y
I know it's absurd but... brain
So this is the scenario: Yesterday at work I passed by a customer that was wearing shorts, he had what looked like a scab/other sort of "wound" on his knee/calf area. Of course, my anxiety spikes at just SEEING this and brain immediately goes, "did we touch that/him". I fire back, "no brain, we do not make a habit of touching people PERIOD, much less their legs/knees/wounds. Plus I was walking by him, dragging a stock cart." Took awhile to get that message through, but I did. As I was calming down, brain goes, "did the garbage bag tied to your cart touch him? It touched your clothes/pants, and now when you walk home your clothes and purse will touch. You need to disinfect your purse or you will get hep C. Etc etc..." It was so close to the end of my shift I couldn't fight it, so I used the bleach spray on my purse and watch when I got home. Then cleaned the bathroom sink/cabinets/counter. I had closed the zipper on the pocket where my wallet is before leaving work but I didn't disinfect my wallet/inside that pocket or my belt. I thought about it and kind of poked my wallet while doing the rest... Brain insists that my wallet/possibly belt are contaminated with hep C virus/that dude's blood and I don't think so. I am OK with using my wallet, but... "You will spread the contamination through your house and while you might not get it from this, you are putting your mother at risk." I can't really even do my usual "tell/warn her" after I use the wallet (to pay bills/get stuff at work/etc) because I KNOW this is stupid and based on a "what if" that feels like it was an intrusive thought. I haven't used the wallet yet and this is honestly killing me inside. I know logically this chain of "contamination" is ridiculous, IF the bag thing even happened, IF that dude was even bleeding at all, IF he is even infected... I have ample information on transmission from my doctor and even several health units and this doesn't fit what they told me and yet... Sigh. I don't know anymore. I thought I had a better handle on this, because now this blows my whole method out the window. It'll pass eventually I know, but I feel like I am starting at square one, despite what I've learned. Thanks for reading.