HOCD or Denial?

I don’t know what’s real anymore, every time i see a women on my screen or on a tv show I “feel” something down there making me think that I wanna do something with a women or that I’m bi or lesbian. I even sometimes look up and down at a women’s body and I get the same responses which adds on more to the uncertainty and makes me feel anxious. I also sometimes feel pressured to come out as bi even though I know that isn’t who I am and my whole life I’ve only loved men and even wanna marry a man and have a kid. I’m also in a relationship with my boyfriend and I’ve been having a hard time enjoying my time with him because of the anxiety and stress I’ve been dealing with as well as the pressure or acting on these thoughts. The thoughts are making me second guess myself every time and idk if it is HOCD or just in denial anymore. Everything feels so real and it’s making me stress. I just wanna go back to how I was, enjoying my relationship with my boyfriend and just looking at women as just women and nothing else. Does anyone have any recommendations on how to calm these thoughts, like what do I say to myself?

Northern_Dow...

Date posted: 1y ago

Look up OCD groinal responses. That's why you get that feeling when you see women, and it makes you doubt yourself more. My advice is when you get these responses, just remind yourself it's an OCD symptom, and thus you don't need to ruminate it. Then go back to what you were doing. You know exactly what it is and therefore what it means -- that you have OCD. Simple as that.

VGH

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Here is what I say to myself whenever I'm faced with uncertainty: "Oh, I'm having those thoughts/feelings again, probably OCD, I'm choosing to not engage, I'm gonna keep moving towards what I value, and the uncertainty is welcome to come with me." Then the hard part of feeling the distress that comes with not knowing for sure and moving on (towards what I value). When I first started "allowing the thoughts" and not trying "to be sure" it felt terrible, I cried all the time, I felt irresponsible, I felt like I was making a fatal mistake. However, that miserable feeling wasn't so different from how miserable I felt when I was stuck in a reassurance cycle. Over time, with practice, I saw those feelings dissipate. Allowing uncertainty (ERP) works! You obviously value your relationship with your boyfriend so rather than being 100% certain, which is impossible, spend your time being present in that relationship. Take care.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m dealing with the same thing. I feel so weird and confused … I’m so scared because the crushes feel so real. I feel I’m forcing myself to be straight …. Everytime my friends talk about boyfriends abs dating I get so sad. I feel gross and icky. I had this theme twice and why is back

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I don’t want to like girls and be bisexual.

Carlos A

Date posted: 1y ago

you and I are in the same situation right now. The difference is that I'm not currently in a relationship, but the same thing happens to me and it's the worst. The feelings in the lower part worsened from one moment to another in which I am already afraid to see any man, when a few months ago, although he made me uncomfortable, I did checks and had almost no response. It doesn't make sense, how it got worse, now I don't know if with exposure for habituation I can regain control, because it doesn't make sense, it must be anxiety

Dead girl wa...

Date posted: 23w ago

I’m confused

Ok so I’m a 17 year old female, and I’ve always thought I was straight. But I just really want to know how you would know the difference between so-ocd and actually questioning your sexuality. I have nothing against the LGBTQ community (in fact I am very much a token straight friend, lol) but I saw a video about comp-het recently and it sort of felt like what I was experiencing. I don’t want to be gay, I want to be with men, I want to like men, I’ve always liked men, but now I’m questioning whether or not that’s real? Because people can be gay but not want to be right? I’m single and I always have been. I think women are gorgeous, but when I try to imagine actually having any sort of romantic or sexual relationship with a woman it feels wrong, at least most of the time it does? Sometimes I’m less sure, and I’ve never been particularly boy crazy. I’ve liked maybe 2 or 3 people in my life, (not to say I’ve never found other guys attractive, but it doesn’t seem to be as often as most people) I have no particular reason to be afraid of being gay, very supportive family, safe area ect, but I don’t want to be, does that mean this is ocd, I don’t know what’s going on every time I say I’m straight I feel like I’m lying, but that might just be because I think about it so much. The idea of being with a woman doesn’t feel like something I would want, but is that just because I don’t want to want it? People online say things with so much sureness, if you feel like this it means this. Ect.

Sexual Orientation OCD

edimichael

Date posted: 11w ago

Advices and similar stories

So for a while i have been suffering of HOCD combined with a little of ROCD and had massive episodes of anxiety and panic attacks, because of that I lost my attraction and my libido while also being in a relationship and that stresses me bad. Also since the start of the severe anxiety I started to lose it gradually over time and at the moment I do not feel any anxiety anymore while having these thoughts which makes me think that I want this to happen because they don’t disgust me anymore. Any advices on how to hold on and get over my OCD? Also is the disappearing of disgust a sign of recovery or denial?

Mt2019

Date posted: 4w ago

Question about HOCD

Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please

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