I’m really worried about this please help

So I have been struggling with intrusive thoughts again. Usually I’m able to let them pass but unfortunately it’s worse at this time. The ocd attacks my family members that I care about more than anything especially my niece who is now 12 and about to turn 13. She’s growing up so fast and I get intrusive thoughts saying horrible things that I hate it when it feels real because I know it’s not. People will say she’s pretty or beautiful and I feel so wrong to even agree because the ocd attacks that and replaces it with words that I would never ever call her. It breaks me because it’s hard to even be around her because of the intrusive thoughts. I’m so terrified because she’s visiting for a week and going on vacation with me and my family and I just know these next couple of weeks are going to be hell. Last visit I was totally fine and now this visit I feel like the ocd got worse. I’m so terrified of the intrusive thoughts and weird intrusive feelings that I know deep down aren’t true but just like ocd does it “feels” real. I keep having intrusive thoughts like “hot” and words like that and it’s disgusting. Or because she’s going through puberty, I keep getting horrible intrusive thoughts about that if that makes sense. I’m scared to death. I don’t want to be a monster. I would never want these intrusive thoughts to be real and I would NEVER hurt her or anyone for that matter. I’m heartbroken. If anyone could please help me not feel alone I would appreciate it because I do 💔

[Deleted]

Date posted: 2y

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Magzzz

Date posted: 2y

@Piña colada I would never hurt her. But it’s the staring ocd. In that moment I felt guilt so does that mean I was being creepy? It was like my eyes “wanted” to look at her chest which makes no sense! It’s normal for people to change, I went through it myself at her age. I’m so terrified right now I want to cry but I have to act like everything’s perfectly fine

Magzzz

Date posted: 2y

@Piña colada But it felt real? I’m so scared

Magzzz

Date posted: 2y

@Piña colada I keep getting thoughts that I’m “attracted” to my niece. I don’t want to be that’s disgusting but it just won’t go away. I felt a ping of guilt in my chest and stomach when I glanced where I didn’t want to and it’s telling me that feeling “confirmed” that I did something wrong. I’m freaking out I don’t know if I deserve to be ok

Magzzz

Date posted: 2y

@Piña colada I’m ok I guess. Still dealing with this and also some other things that happened. I’m trying my best to get through it though. Thank you for checking in on me 🙂

Magzzz

Date posted: 2y

@Piña colada I already have and lost them because I couldn’t financially afford it anymore out of pocket because NOCD doesn’t take my insurance. I’ve had two therapists through NOCD and I don’t feel like starting over again. Thanks though.

Magzzz

Date posted: 2y

I’m really freaking out my anxiety is so high. I just saw her and like I mentioned puberty, I was so worried about it and like staring ocd you tell yourself don’t look there like chests and she was showing me a dress she got and I glanced because I just kept worrying and worrying and I felt a sting of guilt immediately and now I’m shaking and scared because what if I was being creepy. I feel terrible. What if I was staring there? What if I’m being weird? I’m so scared please someone help. I feel like I’m going insane and I’ve only been around her for 10 minutes

Magzzz

Date posted: 2y

@Mikeneko 🧡 It felt like I looked on purpose or I was “expecting” to look. I feel like I’m spiraling. What do I do!

[Deleted]

Date posted: 2y

Comment deleted by user

Magzzz

Date posted: 2y

@Piña colada Yeah I’ll look into it when I’m ready thank you I appreciate it

tayanominous

Date posted: 25w

I’m scared does anyone else have these thoughts?

TW!!!! TW! Not talking abt SOCD in talking abt those really gross intrusive thoughts about sexual things with family ,friends, animals, random people. Mine is with family specifically my mom and I am so scared and my OCD is saying I actually want these thoughts to happen irl. I’m scared and these thoughts aren’t just the average incest thoughts there are sooo messed up it crazy, a few weeks ago I gas a thought that I was pregnant with that family member I mentioned before and I know ewwwwww wtf it’s sooo bad and I’m scared ppl will judge me for it in here or my therapist I’m so scared and it keeps adding to this thought like what it would be like if that were true and it’s sounds so crazy and gross and f****d up I feel so guilty and scared and I don’t wanna do ERP cuz I’m scared worse thoughts will come and your probably think well I can’t get worse then that but unfortunately it probably could anyways I’m sorry for ranting and pls pls reply cuz I feel rlly alone cuz I feel like no one gets THESE thoughts aghhh 😖

Astjtoju13!

Date posted: 23w

Harm ocd

Someone please help me I’m having intrusive thoughts of hurting my pets and I’m really scared of myself and I want these thoughts to go away. Can someone please help me I’m scared and I don’t know if I’m a monster

Anonymous

Date posted: 18w

POCD and changing baby diaper - please help

Hi NOCD community, I was hoping to get some advice from fellow sufferers. In December we welcomed the first baby into the family, my beautiful niece. Since then, my POCD has been awful, which I know is probably very normal. Last week, in the middle of a very high stress day in my family, I was changing my niece and as usually happens, I got intrusive thoughts about awful things people do to babies when changing them. The thoughts were so harrowing to have as I was also changing her at the exact same time, and I felt my hands just quickly want to finish patting her dry before putting her nappy on, and for some reason, my heart dropped with that hand movement, because I was afraid that I had acted out the awful thoughts in my head, in a moment of mania because my morals, values and heart do not align with abuse of any kind, especially to children. My niece is my everything, and I know I would never want harm to come to her in any way, shape or form. I love her endlessly. I am having therapy, but have only had a couple of sessions. But, I cannot shake the 'what if'. I am tortured over trying to remember what it was I did that made my heart drop, but I can't, and its getting fuzzier and fuzzier the more I try to remember. Could anyone offer any advice on this please? Thank you.

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I’m really worried about this please help

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