POCD triggered.

So yesterday I had one of the worst days of my life. I Google Porn and I wanted to make sure it’s adults only and there was no kids or teens ever. Thankfully it was only Adults but now I’m scared what if I was to type CP on Google and it shows it. Someone said it’s on the dark web which they said it’s impossible for mainstream internet like my Google chrome as I refuse to get Tor Browser as that’s how people access to the dark web and I refuse because one it has CP and two it also has illegal drugs and weapons I heard. But I want to know does anyone with POCD and Real Event OCD have fears what if you were to snap one day and look for that illegal stuff? Because I’m scared and I had a meltdown yesterday because of that fear.

Anonymous

User type: Staff

Date posted: 2y

Googling/researching/looking up things can be a common OCD compulsions. ERP would teach you that when you engage in these compulsions it only increases the distress and anxiety in the long run. If you aren't already I would truly recommend that you seek a OCD specialist who can treat you with ERP. ERP stands for Exposure and Response Prevention. During ERP, you’ll gradually confront situations and triggers that cause you anxiety and discomfort, but instead of doing the actions that make your thoughts stop, you’ll learn to sit with the anxiety and accept the uncertainty behind the thought. Eventually, you’ll find that the anxiety is significantly minimized over time. Essentially, it’s a treatment that teaches you how to effectively respond to OCD thoughts, images, and urges. It’s the most proven way to get better and reduce your OCD symptoms quickly. Here is a helpful resource that goes in more in-depth on ERP: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-is-erp-and-does-it-work-for-ocd-cbt. Also check out these helpful articles on POCD-https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/pocd-symtoms-and-treatment & https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/pocd-arousal-not-sign-real-desire & https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/your-complete-guide-to-pedophilia-ocd-pocd

Anonymous

User type: Staff

Date posted: 2y

Also I highly recommend youtube videos by Chrissie Hodges

Anonymous

User type: Staff

Date posted: 2y

If you are interested in finding out more about NOCD's treatment please reach out-Our Care Team will typically begin with a free 15-minute call to discuss treatment, answer any questions you have, and book your first appointment. Please feel free to schedule a convenient time that works best for you here: https://learn.nocd.com/scheduler

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

I have similar POCD obsessions. I’ll ask you a question first. Before you had this POCD were you someone who felt the need to masturbate or look up p0rn compulsively? Because I know that I was someone who did that as a teenager. I never realized it but I suffered from compulsive tendencies centered around sexual things, until I saw an article talking about sexual compulsions of people with OCD. It totally makes sense bow because there were times where I would do it and not even necessarily want to, I just did it because I had the thought to do it. Now that I have POCD that same feeling comes up and it scares the hell outta me, because it feels like an urge or a “want” but it’s not. It’s all just obsessions. It’s just thoughts. Your brain will fixate on the things you think about the most, and OCD just makes your fears the things you think about. It truly means nothing, but yet I still feel the need to block all internet from me and keep my phone away so I don’t do it. It’s just your brain playing tricks, and I know how you feel.

DedricRules97

Date posted: 2y

Porn I refused before POCD as I hated seeing people naked and doing sexual things on camera. But masturbation I always used it to relieve stress. When I began my battle with POCD my masturbation addiction made my OCD worse overtime. I got scared thinking does that make me a bad person? Or am I a pervert? But my family and my therapist said "Your not a predator! It is OCD" and it's a relief. But when I google porn Saturday I was scared even though I saw adults on Google Images. I didn't scroll all the way down because I started having a panic attack and got scared what if a kid or a teen popped up, so I left and didn't want to take that risk of my POCD getting triggered. Now my OCD is saying to Google a naked child and I'm like "No I don't want to that ever" because it's horrible and disgusting, and illegal. It's a scary thing because I don't want to see a child or a teen get hurt or naked ever. But my OCD won't listen to me.

Blueberrycows

Date posted: 22w

Real event having brain fog don’t remember subtype

Mentions pocd Tw Tw Tw Tw Tw Tw Tw Tw My brain told me I looked up cp and I know I definitely did not but my brain played a memory of me looking it up and being on a website … I know it’s from a TikTok video about Africa and saving kids from slavery that the thought appeared from but still it’s terrifying I didn’t look it up

EndOCD!

Date posted: 16w

I feel so guilty

I’m worried about times when Child P*rn or suspicious porn videos have come up in the past. I tend to use Twitter for porn and it’s not the most moderated app out there but I was never looking for videos or pictures or anything related to that. Unfortunately stuff still has popped up and I’m just worried about if my reaction was perfect because I have intense POCD I want to say it’s nearly as severe as it can get so I just feel as if I remember times when something suspicious came up and I stayed for a moment to make sure I wasn’t attracted or maybe left and came back to be sure I was safe and didn’t like it and I’m afraid this counts as seeking out or engaging in illegal content that would get me in trouble. I’ve never once looked this stuff up and anyone who creates saves distributed or likes this stuff I believe deserves prison time for life but I’m just so worried that I didn’t react in the way I should’ve I’m 20 years old so I’m relatively young and I’m jus worried about what this means about me any one else deal with anything similar?

Givenup

Date posted: 13w

Pocd and my situation

Youtubers are constantly getting accused of doing p*dophilic activity and its making me think my real events are as bad or as worse as them... Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... In an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors in the PM's about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... i stopped and blocked her after she told me the second time... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... I keep getting this gut feeling in my stomach that i "flirted" with the younger one that I vented to, who i blocked after she told me twice she was uncomfortable about me venting about my 18+ hocd situations... i didnt ever vent to them for malicious intent... I was trying to get reassurance for my hocd... Plus my pocd keeps saying I cant have any opinions online because of my pocd and real events ocd situations and that Im not a good person so I cant say anything online... Also i keep getting intrusive thoughts of people labelling me as a P and a MAP in the future because of these pocd real events... And i keep getting intrusive thoughts of being outcasted and "cancelled" online when someone "exposes" me for my POCD and real events OCD...

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