So right now my atraction to females my preferred gender has almost vanished since hocd started, got false ones to men and sometimes my mind says that's what I want and like or that it would be better to feel these false ones instead of not feeling anything but that's not what I really think they're just thoughts that pop out of nowhere based on feelings that I get because of ocd. Is this something that should be happening?
It happens to me brother, you're not alone, I can't understand why but it's just as you say, one increases and the other fades
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Thanks for your reply, I've been into some therapists theyve helped to certain degree but they don't quite understand. I also fear that I'll go to therapy and they will tell me that my fears are true because I've read of people that has experienced that, they send those patients to specialists that help them accept their orientation.
Thanks a lot to both for answering, struggling so much with this it started on pandemia and haven't been able to recover, can't sleep can't think or enjoy anything at all.Blessings and best wishes for you both
It's crazy because if you enter my twitter, I follow many women with OnlyFans and content sales, excessive, what does my story say then? At the point where I am right now I don't think they would have followed them, because of how numb I feel, although I have to reveal that I had to leave twitter for a while, the verification is not good and there is some porn there, ironic everything, PS we have to do our best to leave these forums as well, i'm still skeptical of getting better leaving this, although leaving it for a week or less i don't think it will make a real change
Yeah I know we should be away from these forums but sometimes it feels so lonely like no one understands
@Grm2 That's why I'm responding, because of what you say, but deep down I know it doesn't help me, my last few days have been bad, every morning I wake up in a bad mood because of this and I refuse to have to accept adjusting to a life I don't want. just for not suffering from anxiety, so I take another breath and well, soon I plan to get away and allow all thoughts and sensations to come, it's the only way, I don't know if what I want to come back is going to come back one day, I'll wait for it whatever time it is, I hope that we can all get out of this and live life as we want to live it and not anchored to something that does not fill us
@Carlos A I've been planning that too but it's way scary for me to start. Whenever I try I suffer too much and end up doing compulsions to relieve it, we must keep going I know one day we will recover
@Grm2 I'm in the same boat as you
hey guys, i’m almost fully healed in my socd journey but what’s stopping me is the false atractions. i get them almost 24/7 at this point and to every thing. they feel real and i hate them they make me feel disgusted. they also make me feel like hot and gross but then i see people saying thats what attractions feel like, but i have felt so much attraction to the opposite gender pre all of this and it felt nice and enjoyable not digustinf. i’m also getting false memory trying to show me ‘signal’ from my childhood to prove i’m gay amd i truly don’t know if they’re real. it’s so degrading and at this point i feel like govining up. pelesse if you have any advice or even if your going through the same thing just let me know. ocd is so terrible
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
I really dont know if it is ocd anymore I dont want certain sexual things with my bf anymore that i used to like When i envision it with a girl it is so easy to envision and it feels like i want that , that will give me the satisfaction This feeling is making me really question if i am still into men , desire men sexually Is this still ocd , i really dont know anymore , as it is a feeling it is too real
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