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@nataliedallura The thing is this happens to me but I end up checking a bunch because I’m so afraid that I found them attractive I feel an urge to keep checking to try and make sure the attraction is gone but then I end up experiencing what I feel like is more attraction and like one could call this rumination purposeful and sometimes it even feels like I want to look or check I feel so guilty about this and horrible

@fall.lover @fall.lover @fall.lover One thing I have found that really really helps is just counting down from 20 whenever I feel the urge to check and OCD will detach from that person and also just accepting the fact that you are a human being that has the capability to find others attractive and that’s okay. The problem is the checking and rumination itself cause us to give more feelings to this person which could be hurtful to our partners, but the initial attraction is something we must just give ourselves grace for and move on. I also have really noticed that the initial interpretation of attraction can be heavily influenced by OCD as well.

@fall.lover Yes sometimes it really is like that. I think even if I was single I would not even give this person a thought, but because I’m so afraid I do! And yes avoiding eye contact and avoiding them because you’re so afraid of those thoughts or feelings appearing again but sometimes you can’t because of the situation and I just get more guilty and even angry because I can’t escape. But then like if I choose to continue the situation to fight my ocd I’ll accuse myself of doing it because I want to be around the person more it’s miserable

@fall.lover You should join the OCD Friends server if you’d like. It’s nice to have people around with similar experiences https://discord.gg/SvDbyyQz

@Anonymous I guess what I mean by rumination is really leaning into those attractions rather than the kind of rumination caused by your OCD. I hope that makes sense <3

@fall.lover I wish I had a better answer for this, but something I’ve found helpful is to accept the thoughts rather than shame yourself for them. It’s that cycle of guilt that keeps you stuck there. Hope this helps <3