I’ve been diagnosed with OCD (strongest HOCD) and have worked on it with a therapist for the past 5 years. It got better, while not completely going away. But now that I have a boyfriend and the stakes seem to be much higher in my mind, my HOCD and ROCD have big time flared up. I went to a psychiatrist to consider options of medication to someone who said he treats OCD. HE HAD NO IDEA WHAT HOCD OR ROCD OR ANYTHING WAS and told me that I may be bi-sexual etc. etc. etc. My therapist told me that this happens so often due to lack of understanding. Has anyone had a similar experience with someone misdiagnosing you and saying your intrusive thoughts might actually be true?

Just a quick message of caution. Before I was diagnosed with HOCD, I was convinced I turning exclusively Gay, so I went to a therapist, shaking, full of dread, fear and anxiety, I explained to him my instrusive thoughts, urges and feelings.... And to paraphrase, he said the reason I was feeling this is way is because, and I quote "you are repressing your sexuality", "if you do not come out as openly gay and live the lifestyle, you will forever be miserable and always anxious", "I advice you to re concile between your faith and your sexuality or else you will continue to remain depressed forever" and he went on and on and on (I was shivering with extreme fear the whole time) That was without a doubt, one of the worst days of my life, I left the room with extreme fear, believing everything he said, convinced I needed to come out and begin the process of living as a gay man, even though I WAS DYING internally. I am not homophobic however I don't desire to live as a gay man (even if i do have sexual intrusive thoughts about males) I don't desire to be sexually active with the same sex, again my own personal choice, nothing against those who choose otherwise. So please be cautious regarding the therapist you see, ensure they are a OCD specialist because a general therapist who has NO idea regarding Pure O OCD will only make things worse.

I’ve reached a breaking point and people seem to be noticing. A week ago somebody had moved something at work on my desk and it bothered me so much it sent me into a breakdown. Like I’ve always had ocd and the more I think about it I feel like I’ve always had ROCD because growing up I’d have such strong feelings for boys and then as soon as I was about to date them, cut them off because in my head I was scared they would have to settle. Like I’d purposely find something I don’t like about them and then get scared I’d have to spend my life with them. I was 15, why would I be marrying them??? in my head it made sense though. Every connection I had with a boy was alway ruined with these thoughts. I’d be out on a date and then see another cute boy and then be like wow do I really want to go any further with the guy I’m on a date with if there are so many other guys out there??? How do I know they’re the one?? I didn’t even know ROCD was a thing but it makes sense that I’ve had it all my life right?? I always passed it off as being really picky but now it just seems like ROCD. And then my family really honing in on my relationships and asking when I’d get a boyfriend really fucked with me. In my head I’d be like “I’ll get one when I find the right one” but to them I always had a feeling they thought I was just gay. Like I’d get so defensive like hello I’m just picky!!! Then everyone at work started asking and the more they’d ask the more I’d start to worry. I’d be more cautious of the way I’d dress and things I’d do and I’m starting to think that all that started to build up and now I have HOCD. Does that seem like a possibility to anyone? because now the intrusive thoughts are just “what if you’re not picky and you’re just gay?” but then I think back to all the times and all the feelings I’ve had for so many guys that got ruined because of my fears of commitment. Could it have been ROCD all along?

HOCD, ROCD and TOCD . . . So my OCD recently all began with ROCD, I felt guilty all the time with my boyfriend, I wanted to stay with him so bad and I love him so much but my anxiety kept telling me to leave and that something wasn't right, that I'm going to be alone forever. Then my HOCD came up, "something doesn't seem right, what if you're actually gay?" and I struggled with this for about 2-3 months. After accepting that even if I am gay, I'm staying with my boyfriend.. The theme of being a transgender came up. That was the absolute worst of them all. It was at a time my anxiety was at its Peak so I was feeling disassociated and my mind just tried to explain that feeling as "you're in the wrong body". I was thoroughly convinced I was a man in a girls body for a solid 3 weeks, I woke up and that was the first thing on my mind "your a man and now youre going to lose your boyfriend, your life and everything that makes you, you." I didn't want to be a man, but my mind was saying "too bad, you are". I eventually went to therapy for this feeling, (they didn't diagnose me with OCD so they weren't treating me as an OCD patient) the thoughts eventually went away but now I'm back on my HOCD. Ive now thorougly convinced myself that I'm gay and will be with a woman for the rest of my life. I don't want to be and this thought scares me. I want to be with my boyfriend, not a woman. But my mind is saying "too bad, just accept that your a lesbian, you're in denial, just come out" but I don't want to be a lesbian ? can anyone relate to the feeling of convincing yourself to the point where you believe it?