Family and OCD

Currently I don't really have a relationship with my parents not that is bad or good it just isn't there cause of a situation... anyways that's another topic. The question I'm asking is, is it okey to tell a family member something they did triggered you? I have contamination OCD and saw my dad doing something unsanitary after 1 minute later my mom asked something but I didn't reply cause like I was still "shocked" or didn't know how to react to what my dad had done. I apologized to my mom for not responding to her and told her something had happened to me and did not know how to react and that was the reason I left her hanging. She asked what was the thing that triggered me but I haven't replied to her message.

McDucko

Date posted: 2y

I would not. You do not want to appease OCD. In ERP you would want to focus on what makes you uncomfortable and sit with it.

Medic8

Date posted: 2y

I try to avoid commenting on other people's cleaning habits because I rather them not end up like me & try to accept uncertainty, but there are things that would be considered truly unsanitary, I have trouble with that though myself deciphering how to be clean/sanitary, but Not overdo cleaning habits.

Medic8

Date posted: 2y

Edit* -> I have trouble with that though - deciphering

HenryTowers

Date posted: 2y

@Medic8 That's exactly what I'm saying to myself like telling someone that that's unsanitary or not ok isn't bad but since we suffer from OCD it's confusing cause welp yeah we don't know or at least I don't if it's ok or not ok to tell them 🤷🏻‍♂️

Saraa

Date posted: 2y

For me, it really depends on the other person and the bond we have. Remember that mostly ocd is in our mind and not in others people action. So if i talk about it, it is because i want to make the acknowledge what is going on inside my head I think it is important to do it because some people can misunderstan the situation, and take our actions personal when meybe we are just triggered. So i love to let my close friend know what's going on, in a generic way "I'm sorry if i seem distant right now; i feel a little triggered at the moment and i need some time to process it". The only case i will talk about what specific makes me triggered is 1) i'f i'm confused about it and i need a little help understanding if it's my ocd or not (but again only with people i trust) 2) if what triggered me is something that the other people did directly to me. I know that healing is about learning to feel the discomfort; but it's also important to heal with at your time, with your rhythm/ speed. Healing is done step by step. So okay erp, okay sitting with discomfort, but if something is too much and you really can take it, i will tell the oter person. "Hey this action really bother me and makes me feel overwhelmed and anxious. Can you please avoid doing it in my presence for a while?" 3) not everything is ocd. Sometimes people just do abusive shit (like gaslighting, silent treatment, cheating etc.). I will have a conversation with the other person about what they did if it goes over my boundaries and values. "I want to talk about what happened. You did x; and this goes over my boundaries. Don't do it again, i won't accept it."

HenryTowers

Date posted: 2y

@Saraa I get what your saying and I do think the way as you do. The thing here is that my close one supposedly cares bout me but then does things I'm not ready for. But I know that for them is just normal, and maybe don't remember. Anyways, I learned that they won't or don't want to help me out cause I'm not there yet so I just already know they don't care in my mind. But this last time I felt bad for not replying to my mom so I just apologized for that and then let things run.

Saraa

Date posted: 2y

Bound** Sorry for the long ass message, and for the English, it's not my first lenguage 😅

Anonymous

Date posted: 24w

How to react to family who does not understand OCD

I am married and neither,my husband or children understand what it feels like to have OCD. I have had it for some time now. Sometimes ig gets better while other times it acts up and feels just awful!! During these especially awful times I worry more, voice what I am worried about, and just feels depressed. I got even more depressed whwn my family members insult me because of my ocd. I know I should not voice my worries etc ask I am thinking that is a,compulsion but sometimes I do. I regret it afterward,cuz nothing food really happens as a result. More often I am judged, called names and then I really get depressed!!!! It sometimes tanes me days to feel better acter one of those wpisodes! I guess besides not viucing my worries what can I do in a family that does so ma y things that upset me....and it would wvwn if I did nit have ocd!!! I meant WE all have to live together and trust me....there are things they so that for sure woyld have bothered me way before I had o d! ,They would bother the father and son on the TV show Sanford and Son!!! How so I just,live in same house,all the,whike pretending those things,don't bother me? I meant I am the mom. Don't I get some say so without being called names etc?

flowerpetals

Date posted: 22w

ongoing anxiety… need advice

there’s currently tension between the members of my family and it’s not only making me stressed, but it’s giving me really bad anxiety. the situation that’s happening is the byproduct of feelings being held in for years on end finally coming out. the situation doesn’t really have to do with me directly but more indirectly. it’s more so between my brother and my mom. and i’m really close with both. i also am home when i’m not at college. anyways, the issue is my harm ocd is latching onto it. lately, if i don’t like someone’s personality or they do something wrong, my harm ocd will latch onto that. this situation it happens to be my mom. but it’s also been my mom for a little bit now because she has faults that she refuses to acknowledge. my ocd is making me believe i hate my mom and so on. and i don’t hate my mom, but there are times where i really dislike her and how she handles situations, like this one. but i hate being at college more than i would hate to go home and i always love being home. it’s just this situation is making my harm ocd not great, making me not want to go home. furthermore, my contamination ocd gets triggered because of my harm ocd as i get nauseous so then i spiral. anyways, i apologize for rambling but i just need either some words of advice or support if anyone wouldn’t mind :)

andrea_sam730

Date posted: 22w

I’m feeling bad now and scared

Hey everyone, I’m going through something that really shook me up and triggered my OCD. Today I was talking to my mom about how people in our family have been talking badly about my cousin, who’s 17 and pregnant. I haven’t told my cousin anything about what they’re saying, because I don’t want to add any stress to her. I’ve honestly tried to protect her from all the drama. But then my mom told me to be careful about what I say to her, because she’s really worried my cousin could have a miscarriage from stress. She said if that happened and I had told my cousin anything, it would be my fault. I think my mom meant it out of concern, like she just wants to protect my cousin—but the way she said it came off as really harsh and it hurt me. Especially because I’ve never said anything to my cousin and I would never want to cause her any stress. Now my OCD is grabbing onto that fear. Even though I haven’t done anything wrong, it’s making me feel like, “What if something happens to the baby and it somehow ends up being your fault?” Logically, I know that doesn’t make sense. But the guilt and anxiety feel so real, and it’s hard to shake.

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