So scared right now

Well when all this started I felt like I was attracted to every man I stumbled, couldn't be near my friends or anything because I felt like I was attracted to them genuinely it was an intense feeling. I couldn't do anything to get rid of it so I started exposing to it and this kind of feelings disappeared they sometimes show up but I'm able to tell the difference now. What I haven't been able to expose to are gay men or trans who also trigger me way to much, whenever I get across them I get intense groinals that feel like I like them and atraction that feels very intense and genuine just like I used to men before erp so today I came across a gay guy and felt like I desired to have sex with him but in my mind there was no real atraction it was like there was a mismatch between my mind and my true desires my body would feel like it wanted sex but at the same time it didn't , like in my mind I didn't feel attracted to the person I didn't even like it nor has any attractive characteristics and yet I felt like I had sexual desire and felt like I was attracted and this is making me spiral so much why did I feel this way? I'm so scared right now I don't know what to do I don't want to be someone I am not I don't see myself with another man not in a relation not even married not even having sex. What I notice is that when this happen with men I get these really intense sensations even they feel like they're stronger than my natural ones but no erections with it, while with women my desire and attraction doesn't feel that strong or intrusive but it is warm, peaceful pleasurable and I get erections and make me happy. Someone could please give me any clue please

Yeye123

Date posted: 2y

This is what ocd does dude, if u know u aren’t into men, u aren’t🤷our bodies don’t speak for us, we do

NMRTHGHTS

Date posted: 2y

Thanks a lot for your reply it's just that this theme in ocd hasn't been studied properly by professionals that there isn't much information about it I think they haven't even given it the proper relevance to study it deeper like how the brain functions in people like us and why some stuff happens.

Yeye123

Date posted: 2y

@Grm2 I mean, ocd causes physical feelings -which makes us very confused and scared. We start overthinking about every out of character feeling/thought we have. And i think the fact that you’re so scared about it, says you aren’t. But you can’t win with ocd. I’m sorry ur going thru this rn man, just keep reminding urself everytime u get a odd thought/feeling that it isn’t you. OCD does anything to get you very confused and scared.

NMRTHGHTS

Date posted: 2y

@Popazazazaz Thanks a lot m8 it's really hard to do it when it feels like the actual thing but I'll keep going won't let this illness defeat me

[Deleted]

Date posted: 2y

Comment deleted by user

NMRTHGHTS

Date posted: 2y

Does your arousal feel like real one?

NMRTHGHTS

Date posted: 2y

@0876 Can you share with me your story?

NMRTHGHTS

Date posted: 2y

@0876 Was there any traumatic event that could have trigger es this?

NMRTHGHTS

Date posted: 2y

@Grm2 Triggered

NMRTHGHTS

Date posted: 2y

@0876 That sounds just like me I'm so sorry that you're struggling you're not alone 🥺

ntr

Date posted: 25w

Advice

Hello, im a 21ye old male. All of my life i was always atrscted to girls, even if it was only a hug by a girl i liked i got a boner. I always fantasised about doing fun stuff (not onyl sex) with my gf. Had a gf for almost two years. Two months ago i fell into severe anxiety about my sexuality changing. It happened to me 2 years ago bit then i had my gf and i did not need to worry if i will find a girl i love or will i be able to because i already had her. The toughts were realy intense but they faded and for 2 years i did not experience any doubts or fears about it. Then it happened again in december. For 2-3 weeks i was realy down...constant toughts about doing things with men i never wanted to do, fear that i liked someone, fear of denial...but them bc of getting back with my girlfriend it was okay for three weeks almosf. Then we broke up again and after a few days i had the worst days of my life. I felt like i actually changed, i did not know what to do. Then after a week I went out with a girl and when she laid on me when we wafched a show I got aroused like i always did with my ex. I felt such relief and i could handle my fears and anxiety for almost a month. Then a week ago the fear returned and i am again in a very bad spot, i dont know what else to do, i have no girl that i love, i am afraid i will never be able to experience those same feelings and moment that i had with my ex and then again the toughts of being in denial came back. I dont know what to do. My psychiatrist said i dont have ocd but onyl simptoms and that my anxiety is the proboem. Any one experienced something similar? Thanks

Sexual Orientation OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 23w

What the HECK?

what the hell? this entire day ive been trying to do ERP right? allowing the thoughts feelings, sensations be there with very little reaction, saying"oh that's a thought", "that's a feeling" don't care" etc. But it seems to be making it 100x times worse. Like its impossible to just"ignore" it, it feels so freaking real as if this was the truth, the doubts are real, the false attraction feelings and lip sensations are REAL and genuine attraction, feels ego-synotic, its impossible just to ignore or move on from it because I think I'm so hyperfocused on it all so it last the whole day. IDK right now it feels and seems as if I lost? like its not a what if but it feels factual like"I'm naturally gay, I'm gay" and it feels like normal and become ok with that. But I don't want that I don't want to be gay.

please44I

Date posted: 11w

Pocd

Why am I not anxious? Like at all anymore? Is it because I'm really avoiding and trying not to think of the consequences that come from possibly being a pdfile? Is the only thing that is worrying me about it is the consequences then does it mean that I really am one? But I never masturbated to the thought of a child and actively seeked it. It came as intrusive thoughts while I was doing it yes I've had them when I see kids yes and I question and check a lot if I'm attracted to them and its just confusing me, I know I'll never do anything to hurt a child and I don't even like the idea of becoming a pdfile then why am I not anxious enough about it? The thoughts are just distressing obsessive I feel disgusting and Id say I still do compulsions but I don't know something just doesn't feel right. I don't feel anything and no real attraction to anyone or anything anymore. I just feel so disgusting and I just want to be normal but then again I pretty much did this to myself. It's weird to me I know there isn't a real indication I'm a pdfile and past experiences pretty much prove that and I've always been attracted to older guys so why is this happening now? Why am I getting these thoughts now especially right after I was trying to fix this sexual obsession/tension I had for older guys. Is my brain just leaving one thing to love and be obsessed about and going to the other? I'm really really just confused. Not anxious just distressed confused and uncomfortable. Like I want to throw up but I don't feel intense anxiety in my chest it feels like maybe I haven't processed what's going on properly. I'm genuinely so confused and I don't want to have this stay in my mind. Sometimes I just miss my ex so much because at the time I've felt something I felt so much things even though I had really bad rocd. I just miss loving people again and being alive again. I'm so scared and confused right now can anyone explain to me what is this? I genuinely just want to understand what I'm feeling or thinking because its not making sense to me

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