sophiee

Date posted: 2y

How Do You Manage Intrusive Thoughts?

My bf and I are experimenting with ways to manage my OCD. The majority of my OCD is ROCD- im constantly in fear that I’ve “lost feelings” for my partner or that i will break up with him against my will My compulsions mainly consist of confessions- in which my bf reassures me. Although this is helpful in the moment, I know it only makes the cycle of OCD continue. Today, im focusing on not using confessions with him. It’s so difficult not reaching out for his reassurance, especially when the thoughts just pile in my head What are some healthy tips that you guys may be able to offer?

JazzCrab

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Tell him to not engage with your confessions if you do confess. Don’t offer you reassurance, don’t tell you it’s okay. I’ve found that also just delaying the compulsion is helpful. Set a timer, if you still feel that way in 2 hours or however long, then you can confess. I think also asking myself “why do I want to share this? Is it an urge or is it a genuine and healthy want to share?”

sophiee

Date posted: 2y

@JazzCrab I have so many fears and questions: How can I stop or limit the intrusive thoughts? Do I fight them, or do I let them be until they pass? How do I simply “let them pass”?

JazzCrab

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@sophiee Dont try and fight the intrusive thoughts. Acknowledge them and allow yourself to be uncertain, and don’t do anything to make the discomfort pass more quickly. Just sit in it, eventually it’ll go away on its own. Practice non engagement responses such as “yes I suppose that COULD happen. Anyway” and move on with your day. Thoughts don’t need to have more meaning than just being something you thought.

sophiee

Date posted: 2y

@JazzCrab That scares me so much

JazzCrab

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@sophiee I know! But it’ll never get easier if you don’t do scary things.

sophiee

Date posted: 2y

@JazzCrab Im so scared of losing him. Im so scared that my brain is going to make me leave him without my consent and against my will :((

JazzCrab

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@0876 If only I could take my own advice 😂 it’s hard.

JazzCrab

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@sophiee Relationships are always going to be scary and nothing is ever 100% a guarantee.

sophiee

Date posted: 2y

@JazzCrab I don’t want to think that my OCD would make me do something against my will :((

JazzCrab

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@sophiee I’m not sure what else to tell you that won’t be going into reassurance, which as we all know is not good for OCD. Are you able to see an ERP therapist?

sophiee

Date posted: 2y

@JazzCrab I signed up for a phone call from this app. Have you spoken or dealt with a therapist from here?

JazzCrab

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@sophiee Yes I have! Very happy with my therapist

sophiee

Date posted: 2y

@JazzCrab Turns out they don’t accept my insurance and I can’t afford the sessions they offer :,))

JazzCrab

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@sophiee that’s really sucks. The self pay option is really expensive, I’m doing it myself right now.

JazzCrab

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@sophiee Well. Without reassuring you about specifics, I do want to let you know that recovery and being in a happy and healthy relationship is totally possible. My ROCD stems directly from an abusive ex, and 7 years later I’m happily engaged to someone who’s truly wonderful and has been nothing but supportive of me recovering from OCD even though he doesn’t fully understand it. Finding someone who loves you enough to help you and support you where they can is the first step. I think delaying my compulsions has been the most helpful, and I think confessing to a friend about your obsessions is better than going to your partner about it. Anything you can do to throw OCD off it’s normal course and eventually it’ll get better. Good luck, I hope it gets better for you.

sophiee

Date posted: 2y

@JazzCrab tysm :)) success stories are always so encouraging to hear!!

Chairo

Date posted: 2y

Hi Sophie, I can relate! I am married and have been for almost three years. I had the thoughts and doubts before we got married and unfortunately they still flare up from time to time. When my anxiety is at its height it feels like this overwhelming all consuming urge or voice to just end things leave and disappear. It hurts my heart and my partner so much. I’m still working through this for myself. I just thought I would pop in and let you know that you aren’t alone.

sophiee

Date posted: 2y

@Chairo Thank you 🥺 it’s hard for both my partner and i to step away from the reassurance. I just had a small breakdown today because this feels impossible. It’s only day one and my emotions are definitely a rollercoaster. Hearing success stories like yours makes me feel so at ease. I love my bf more than anything and we’re just so in love with each other. He is my first long term partner and I plan to spend forever with him

Chairo

Date posted: 2y

@sophiee Hang in there 💜 we can chat here anytime!

Chairo

Date posted: 2y

@Chairo I know it’s hard to keep the thoughts to yourself and not confess them. It feels like you are lying or keeping something from your partner. But follow the advice of your therapist and try to resist the compulsions to confess. Maybe just try and remind yourself that it’s just a thought. Try and get distance from it. Imagine yourself in the top balcony of a theater and your thoughts play out on stage. It’s dramatic and maybe heart wrenching but it’s not involving you. You are observing. Might help? 💜 best wishes!

Canes12345!

Date posted: 21w

My life with ocd

I’m a good man and I know that. My OCD revolves around relationships. While dating someone a truly enjoy, I find myself needing to compulse everything on my mind or else I feel like I’m being a liar or keeping secrets. I also am pretty confident I suffer from false memory ocd. I don’t like to put a label on things but I’m 99.9% sure I do. My compulsions a lot of times come from things I’m not even sure are real. The more thought I put into them, the more I start to believe they are real. One of the worst compulsions I had in my relationship was I had a thought “what if I find my ex more attractive” and “what if I thought the sex with them was better”. I ended up compulsing these things to my gf. After lots of time to think and get a ahold of myself I was able to remind myself that these things weren’t true and I was just in a downward spiral. There was a 2-3 month period where every time I was relieved of something then I would instantly think of something else. These compulsions have caused insecurity in my gf and I feel like a terrible person. Never meant to hurt her at all and was just trying to find a sense of relief. While I know it is not true, I can’t fix things with words and I feel terrible. I would love to hear from people with tricks and strategies that can help. I love my gf and want to fix things and understand this is not a relationship fixer app but I would like to know what are some ways you are able to deal with these kind of things.

bubbsle

Date posted: 20w

Tips for Anxiety

Hey guys! My boyfriend has said recently that he doesn't know if he's strong enough to continue with our relationship because of my OCD. He wants to see me overcome my symptoms and learn to live a healthy life with OCD, but my anxieties and obsessions are starting to really affect his life. I understand his reasoning, it's hard to see someone you care about struggle with OCD, especially when it starts to affect you too. I'm asking for tips to deal with my compulsions in the relationship. I HAVE to know the answer to things and sometimes that leads into arguments because even with apologies and discussions I can't let things go, even if they genuinely don't matter or are miniscule issues we have. It's a healthy relationship otherwise but I feel horrible because it's impacting him so negatively, that's the absolute last thing I want to happen. I care for him deeply and he cares for me too, so I don't want my OCD to be a reason we break up but I fear it's headed in that direction. I'm starting therapy soon, but until then what are some things I can do to stop my ROCD from impacting him? I know sitting in the guilt and anxiety of not completing my obsessions will help, but I'm wondering if there are other things I can do to maybe remedy some of the damage already done.

Jpais28

Date posted: 10w

ROCD advice help for supporting partner

I am at a very difficult spot in my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, and I have a history of cheating that for years we’ve been trying to work through. To me, it makes a lot of sense that my OCD has attached itself to this and for the last few years I’ve experienced intrusive sexual thoughts of others and relationship ocd. I have been open to him about the content of my thoughts and now, with a proper diagnosis of an anxiety disorder, I am able to reframe them and work through them with ERP so that my brain will *hopefully* get bored and stop sending them. But, things have not been easy. As a result of this and everything in our past, he has become anxious about all the scenarios where I could be having sexualized thoughts about other people. To him, if I am thinking something utterly different than what I am telling him or acting like to him, he can’t fully trust it. And of course, I can imagine how difficult it is to know your life partner is sexualizing others in her brain and to be able find a way to dismiss them as unthreatening, especially when past mistakes say otherwise. Is there anyone that has gone through this with a partner? And other than repeatedly explaining the egodystonic nature of my thoughts and providing reassurance, what are some things you did that helped them? Any advice helps! Thank you

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How Do You Manage Intrusive Thoughts?

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