I’ve been obsessing for quite a while that I’m already dead? I woke up one morning thinking I was not real and things weren’t real after a panic attack the night before and my mind is telling me I died that night and now I’m dreaming what my life could have been, am I alive am I dead? I’m so scared and obsessed with these thoughts always wanting reassurance
Oh I have this lol my main theme is suicide unfortunately. Currently recovering after being hospitalized (I was discharged 3 days ago after 8 days) and existential has fully taken over as new theme, it’s the worst but since I’m being medicated I can handle it better. I’m not so worried about whether I’m alive or dead anymore, it’s more so that “nothing is real, nothing matters, no one else is real besides me” and the worst one “life is too uncomfortable to live” and “you have to be alive” which’s goal is to make me feel live I’m alive against my will which is so uncomfortable and feel stuck to think about and makes me hyper aware of my existence it is the worst theme. Oh and overall to drive this home when I’m like I’ll just get help for these thoughts or thought pattern my brain is like “what’s the point of doing anything if we all die” to which I say…to enjoy it that’s like saying what’s the point of eating cake if your going to run out of it…to enjoy it! But of course no answer is ever enough for ocd so I’m trying not to answer or respond. basically all my obsessions surround life and death, specifically mine…which is annoying. I’m trying not to care and hopefully when I reach week 2 of meds this will all fade even more. When I first got the thought of “what if I actually offed myself and am currently dead” Usually when there’s nothing I can do about the possibility that a thought is true I will let it go. If I am dead, there’s nothing I can do about it now! Same with the nothing is real.
@hellokittylover27 You have just described my entire thought process, I’m not so fixated on being dead it’s more is anything real? Did I die and am I now dreaming? But like you said nothing we can do about it, so have to push that thought away what meds are you on?
@jessiiii Fluvoxamine
@jessiiii Oh and seroquel which is an antipsychotic
@hellokittylover27 I’m on that too!
@jessiiii this is what i'm experiencing right now, how are you feeling now
@Kooan Absolutely horrible I’ve been sectioned in a mental hospital
@jessiiii I'm sorry to hear that, but I hope we will get better... What meds are you taking if it's not a secret
@Kooan Aripriprazole moving up to 25mg
@jessiiii that's a really high dose for ocd
@Kooan It’s not ocd it’s a delusion I have psychosis
@jessiiii I'm sorry to hear that, and I'm a little scared, because I have the same symptoms, so I don't know what to do now, should I go to the hospital? were you hallucinating
@Kooan Add me on Snapchat Jess.ashtonnn
@jessiiii Give me 10 minutes to download it
@Kooan Okay :)
@jessiiii I have installed it
@jessiiii I added you
Very interesting, I've not heard a lot about this specific form of OCD. Don't read too much into me saying "very interesting". This is still a valid form of OCD (not reassuring- OCD can latch onto literally anything) just saying it's interesting to note this form exists. I'm sorry you're struggling, and although I can't reassure you that you haven't already passed, I can say it's more than likely OCD. I wish you the best in your recovery journey! You'll come back around to feeling more like yourself eventually, I'm sure! Again, sorry that you are struggling
@OoOcCdD66 Thank you! I appreciate it how come you can’t reassure me I haven’t already passed?
@jessiiii It would be because your not meant to give people with ocd reassurance because it feeds the ocd
@OCDsucks22 Oh right thank you!
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@Kooan Add me on Snapchat Jess.ashtonnn
I have really bed harming intrusive thoughts and sometimes feels like it’s feeling! The thoughts happening every day and the hardest part is that I’m testing my self in head all the time if that’s what I am or want!!! Also, so many times feels like I’m been tricking myself and doctor or people and maybe I don’t have OCD, just that maybe it’s me really!!!! How can I know who I am really 🥹???!!??
At first, it just started as harmless questions, curiously exploring the universe and what life and death mean as a human. Then it became an obsession about death and the afterlife. I’m a Catholic-turned-agnostic who recently took an interest in religion again, trying to redevelop a relationship with God without letting the fear of not being good enough and possibly going to Hell taking over me. Instead, my brain latched onto the possibility that there is no God, that there’s eternal nothingness after the short time we have here on earth and that everything means nothing. My love for my friends and family. My desire to achieve my goals, and to be happy for the people I love achieving theirs. I’m haunted by the feeling that it will all be for nothing, that I will never be reunited with those that I love, that the people I love who have passed on have ceased to exist and one day, so will I and everyone else. I can’t function now. I’ve made myself physically ill over this. I’ve lost my appetite. As someone who once took pride in how much love I have for my job as a daycare teacher, I come into work and feel numb. I go home and feel numb. I’ve obsessively started telling the people in my life how much I love and appreciate them because for the past three days, I’ve been sick thinking about how one day, either I’ll leave them or they’ll leave me. It feels like nothing matters. It feels like everything is in vain. I’ve tried so hard to reframe my mindset, to rewire my brain to not think that way. I’ve tried ERP techniques of allowing myself to sit with the discomfort that the fear brings. To try and desensitize myself to this fear. Nothing seems to work. I’m so lost. I’ve been this way for three days, with yesterday and today being worse than the day it started. It’s like the obsession is morphing into depression in a way. I’m scared I’ll never feel enjoyment in any form again. I don’t know what to do anymore.
Hiya! A bit of a trigger warning. I recently had a thought of what if i died and this is the afterlife and it isn’t going away. it’s been a week or two. i don’t think i believe but but i also don’t know, i’m scared i’ve crossed the line of ocd to delusion. any comfort would be appreciated, thank you!
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