Should I get over it or try to fix it?

How do you deal with your coworker(s) disliking you/giving you the cold shoulder after a misunderstanding? I care about my reputation and what ppl think of me (even after I stop working with them). I wouldn't care as much but I work with them and I can't stand walking on egg shells around ppl for 8-10 hrs a day! My anxiety kicks in and my mind starts to spiral and create scenarios and reasons as to why this person is treating me this way. I would say something but I I'm not confrontational.

Username: Will86Will86

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Can't please everyone and if your reputation is strong one bad review won't effect anything.

Username: PenepastaPenepasta

Date posted: 1y ago

True,you really can't but it's hard when your the new guy coming in everyone is already cliqued up.

Username: Will86Will86

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@Penepasta You'll find where you fit. Just make sure it's where you fit (for being yourself) not where you think they want you to.

Username: dshbbpodshbbpo

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

i struggle with this badly and have left jobs because i was unhappy with how i represented myself or what my coworkers thought about me. i also struggle with pretty intense social anxiety, especially if it’s a person i’ll see regularly so in my insecure mind their opinion was even more important. i think the nocd way would suggest to stay the course keep working and try to accept that its entirely possible you’ll be misunderstood, but you don’t have to panic, internalize, or let it corrode your self image. it is so much easier said (or typed) than done. thanks for sharing i relate a lot to your experience

Username: PenepastaPenepasta

Date posted: 1y ago

Im glad my post can help you! It's nice to know im not alone feeling this way. I left a job after being their for 4 years. I was going to leave soon anyway but not on the note I was hoping for. Thank goodness I had another job lined up and im in a much better work environment.

Username: TheBeachFromHereTheBeachFrom...

Date posted: 1y ago

Also. It may not seem that way just now but in time things normally do get better. Many colleagues were against the decision I made and I felt like work was an unfriendly environment and I was paranoid that everyone hated me. Fast forward to now and everything has blown over. I'm in a new team with empathetic colleagues that I get on with and am enjoying work again. Things feel worse it the moment. But they usually blow over quicker than you think.

Username: PenepastaPenepasta

Date posted: 1y ago

Thank you! I hope things blow over too and if not...it is what it is.

Username: TheBeachFromHereTheBeachFrom...

Date posted: 1y ago

I had a similar experience at work. I tried to speak to the colleague but they didn't want to listen. They had disagreed with a decision I made. Initially it ate me up but I realised that I couldn't influence someone else. I reminded myself that this person was displaying black and white thinking. I was now "bad" in their eyes despite all the years that they had known me. But I stopped feeling guilty as the issue lay with the colleague being immature. The worst of it was that they made passive aggressive comments clearly directed towards me at team meetings. I chose to ignore the comments. Ironically it made them look bad rather than me. Fortunately they left the company a few months later but I had been considering moving myself. If you can't speak to the colleague and the situation doesn't improve in the next few months then I would ask yourself whether you want to continue working in a toxic environment? At the end of the day your health is more important than any job.

Username: PenepastaPenepasta

Date posted: 1y ago

Thank you guys for the comments and advice. I really appreciate it. It's helping me get into a better headspace for when I go back to work.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Stick to your guns but also if it’s truly toxic to you and you can find something else no hard in looking - I did that recently and no regrets !

Username: Harleyboi

Date posted: 3y ago

Is it just me that when someone gets mad at me, it's like my relationship with them starts from square one? I overthink them being mad so much that I can't move past it, and I look for the tiniest little signs that they're still mad at me deep down. For example, my boss got MILDLY annoyed with me because I didn't see a message she sent this morning, but my brain is treating it like she's been on the edge of firing me (she literally just asked why I didn't respond, and reminded me that I needed to be online for 9AM, then we MOVED PAST IT). When this happens, it would literally take the other person to come up to me like 'I'm sorry for getting mad - you don't need to worry about it. I didn't mean to get annoyed' for me to move past it. It takes me MONTHS to get over the tiniest little spat. So so done.

Username: Nerdwithocd

Date posted: 1y ago

Work related ruminations

Hey everyone! I’m new to this app, but not new when it comes to OCD treatments. A few years ago I had to leave school/ my job in order to work on my mental health which was hard but needed. Mentally things have more or less gotten better OCD wise but I still really struggle with protectionism. I started a new job within the past 6 months that is challenging, but I enjoy enough to hopefully stay at for a few years. As of the past two weeks I have been really struggling with ruminating over my performance at work. I have been trying really hard to learn all the moving parts of the job, but because of lack of mentoring and constant little hiccups I have been stressing. Currently I have been overwhelmed/ overthinking so much that I have been messing up my work and it seems like my coworkers are pretty annoyed by constantly having to correct me. It’s honestly my worst fear as a perfectionist to feel like a burden. My intrusive thoughts as of late is that they are going to think I don’t care or try hard enough, that they talk bad about me to each other, and that they are going to fire me. Has anyone else experienced this type of OCD perfectionism that affects there performance within school or work and if so is there anything that you did in order to help recenter yourself in the moment to stop your brain from running in circles?

Username: Magzzz

Date posted: 45w ago

What is wrong with me?

At my workplace, I have these so called “friends” or used to be “friends” that I have tried so hard to be friends with and be there for an all I’ve ever gotten in return is hurt, put down, ignored, left out, and talked down to. There’s a girl I work with and used to be friends with that acts like she’s better than everyone else and gets my other so called friends to believe her lies and she purposely tries to leave me out and makes me an outsider when I used to be there for her but she’s always been mean in return but she makes me out to be the bad guy or the problem. She has even said I’m a problem and that everyone agrees with her. I have quit from this place before but I came back because it was convenient since I’m in college and they work with my schedule. Management won’t do anything about it because of favoritism. I tried to warn my best friend about her and other people but she wouldn’t believe me and before I quit she turned against me just like everyone else. Then when I came back she acts like my best friend again because the girl that treated me like crap gave her the same treatment when I was gone and now the mean girl is I guess trying to get her not to be my friend anymore. I don’t know what to do. These people make me want to give up because I feel like my existence is the problem. That maybe if I left they wouldn’t have to worry about me anymore since they shun me and treat me like I’m the worst person ever. It’s so mentally exhausting and it’s painful because I’m a very overly caring person and I used to be a people pleaser but now that I have kind of gotten more boundaries and protected myself, it got worse. Am I the problem? What is wrong with me? I honestly don’t even know what I ever did to these people. I have an attitude sometimes but it’s because of the way they have treated me and that’s honestly all they have ever said was my issue and I have apologized countless times for the things I’ve done wrong because I have held my self accountable but they haven’t. A couple years ago I liked a guy that started working there but then she started flirting with him when she knew I liked him and now they are dating so that tells you how that went. He was like my best friend and when I tried to warn him about her, he turned against me too. I don’t know what to do anymore. Any time I would speak out against her she would say I’m a problem and that I’m acting like a victim but all I’ve done was try to protect myself from how she’s treated me. I can’t make friends anymore because I’m afraid they are just going to do me like she did. I don’t know if I’m the problem but they make me feel so angry and I can’t do it anymore. I don’t know if this even makes any sense but if anyone relates or can help I appreciate it 💔

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Should I get over it or try to fix it?

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