How did you realize you had OCD?

As someone who has very recently realized he may OCD but hasn't been formally diagnosed yet, I'm curious about how other people realized they had OCD. Here's what I know about myself: I constantly second guess myself, doubt my perspective, and do not hold my own well in conflict (I tend to roll over and surrender to avoid arguing). OCD's moniker "the doubting disorder" resonates hard with me. I've always thought my ability to turn an issue over and over in my mind and see all sides was a virtue (although it is time-consuming and emotionally exhausting, something I often do for days or weeks at a time). From what I've read online, the subtypes I most identify with are moral scrupulosity OCD, social OCD, and real event OCD. (To a lesser extent, I also identify with false memory OCD and harm OCD.) Because the obsessions I experience are internal and sometimes quite personal, usually related to beliefs about morality and my inherent badness in relation to other people, it is hard for me to tell whether what I feel and think is legitimate (neurotypical) or pathological (OCD). I fear that I would be "letting myself off the hook" by releasing my fixation on goodness and moral purity, and that, to truly achieve goodness and prevent myself from being bad, I need to maintain my fixation, perform self-flagellation, and experience intense guilt to "atone" for my mistakes. In the past, I thought I was neurotypical, but I don't know if this is neurotypical behavior. I worry that what I think might be OCD is just a "normal" amount of guilt and healthy concern for preventing harm. It feels like I don't have a good sense of perspective or scale when it comes to "crime and punishment," that I'm missing some innate ability that other people naturally have to determine the level of misdeeds. I'm afraid that claiming I have OCD would just be a way of shirking responsibility and emotionally manipulating other people. tl;dr: Do I have OCD or do I experience "normal" levels of guilt and anxiety? How can I know?

Jeanne

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

You can contact NOCD and get screened for ocd for free.

jaddj

Date posted: 2y

I got diagnosed through therapy because I thought I had general anxiety, but if you find yourself relating it does not hurt to try out exercises and finding a safe space in people you can relate to

giavanna_

Date posted: 2y

I went to therapy for general anxiety and after talking with my therapist for awhile we recognized some of my behaviors weren't just anxiety. She told me that she could tell I had OCD because I felt like I HAD to do something about my obsession or else something bad would happen. even if you don't have OCD, it sounds like some treatments or therapy sessions focusing on it could help!

Imtrigad0529

Date posted: 2y

I found out when I was in early high school but definitely dealt with since a kid, just over the top worrying about everything wether it was real or not. Worried so hard about the weather to worrying about Jason from the movie coming to kill me. And it was all day everyday and when I got older I just thought it was normal to think like that until I dealt with sexuality ocd, that’s what sent me to the doctor because the anxiety and thoughts were at an all time high, it got latched. That’s when Panic attacks started happening and when I really started falling into the grips of ocd. I was so confused and broken and lost I did all the compulsions (like I have since a kid) including research. Even tho research was my last compulsion because I was always scared to find out what was going on or get an answer that I wouldn’t like, I just COULD NOT HANDLE THE UNCERTAINTY, so i would research anyway. I rather know the worst part than not know what’s going on. The biggest factor in ocd. I’m glad I searched tho because that’s when I found out about ocd and eventually put the Medicines down and got myself out of that first deep hole. But I never got a real diagnosis until 2 years ago. I thought since once that fear was settled I wouldn’t have to deal with it on that level again. I was wrong. I had smaller obsessions after the big one, basically just worrying about things until something else to get worried about, lower levels of anxiety and things that didn’t latch super hard. Finally I had another huge obsession and it latched with fear and uncertainty like the time before maybe even worse and like you can feel it latching like you know your being overwhelmed with doubt and fear, and having that feeling come up again is when I got on this app and got diagnosed with not only ocd but many other anxiety disorders.

Imtrigad0529

Date posted: 2y

I would get in touch with a therapist, because even if you do have ocd you’re just going to doubt you have it. So it’s best to work with someone who can help with handling it. Knowing you have ocd feels better but it will be another obsession before you know it. Reassurance is what we want but like a drug, it’s never going to be enough

Whisper

Date posted: 19w

How do I know I have OCD?

Hey, so I've never actually been diagnosed with OCD. I did a little bit of research, I always thought OCD was organizing things. But I'm not normal, I have this thing where I feel something isn't right. I obsess over it or if I brush my hand over something correctly then it's fixed. Or I have to do this thing on stairs, I'll walk up a few or down them because something isn't right. I read this thing on memories. I know something happened, but then I doubt myself to the point I don't know if it happened. And I think too logically in relationships. I'll put statistics on things and if they might not work out I distance myself, there's other odd things I do. My family always told me I was fine but then said things like I was messed up, and said to just ignore what I felt. Like I was making it up. I don't know what to do, I don't have a doctor currently, I was never diognosed. Is there a way to be sure I have it? Or a way to stop everything? I just want to stop everything, please and thank you. Sorry for the long post. If anyone can help, I would be so thankful.

K1790

Date posted: 11w

Unsure if OCD sometimes

I was diagnosed with OCD around the age of 6, subtype- contamination primarily. It calmed down as I got older and I assumed it had gone away, but also didn’t realize it can show up in other ways, and it still had been effecting me which I know now. I’m not 31 and I’ve been in therapy for a year and it’s helped a lot, although I sometimes get thoughts that what if some of the stuff I’m dealing with isn’t ocd and I’m exaggerating. I feel like thoughts will feel sticky and I’ll do certain compulsions but then the thought eventually vanishes if I do it a few times which makes me think maybe it’s not OCD since other people/friends I know would probably do the exact same thing. Not sure if I’m making sense, but I guess my question is if that thought comes up with anyone else? Just being unsure if something you’re doing actually is ocd or not.

Imsexybutimi...

Date posted: 11w

Do I have ocd

Hey, so idk if I have ocd, I would like to think I’m a very self aware person but I don’t wanna self diagnose at all, lmk what you guys think. So pretty much my whole life since I was young I remember having irrational fears im sure it was all trauma induced but when I was a kid I thought my father was poisoning me until I asked him, he started crying and was so shocked that I could ever even think that, my parents broke up when I was legit fresh out the womb, mom worked two jobs and disciplined me, dad let me do whatever on the weekends and got me snacks so I was obsessed with him so obsessed that it was mandatory for me to kiss his picture 20x everyday before school. Growing up I always felt followed by cameras or like someone out there was recording me waiting for me to do something embarrassing to expose me in front of the whole world and my life was over 🤣🤣 I thought my abusive ex bf was stalking me through my I phone camera after we broke up and it would truly stress me out, it made me believe that it was the reason he never reached out again bc I probably looked ugly in the camera he was stalking me through. If I fall out with a friend Ill over analyze everything to see if I did anything wrong and god forbid while I’m self reflecting I realize I did something wrong I feel like an evil person, verbatim the people I fall out with is bc they’ve done me wrong in some way and it has to b something hurtful or repeated mistakes for me to really stay away for good, so I’ll beat myself up for making mistakes with another person who’s made the same amount of mistakes if not more and in most cases I always fall short, and this when I question if it’s ocd or I’m just to self aware and see the ugly in me bc I’m not perfect and it’s just makes me feel so unsettled but again that’s a normal feeling and the next step is to forgive yourself and do better moving forward, not obsess over it like your trying to convince yourself you’re a good person. I’m also hot tempered and will say hurtful things when I’m mad I’m definitely a crash out in the way, you push my bottoms way too many times and I will shred you, and I’ll say things ik will hurt you and that’s just so low, then the anger goes away and I have to face the guilt, which makes my “ocd” 100x worse, it almost feels like I have to do everything right to not trigger it yet again I don’t have the self control to do it all right, I actually have a lot bpd tendencies again not diagnosing but I’m just trying to understand my brain. I worry about dying, getting a terminal illness. uti turning into kidney infection then into cancer kind of thing, knowing that life in general can b tragic is so scary to me, like what will be my story? What will be my life experience?. I believe that people see right through me and discuss it amongst each other, I always tell myself I am not that important but I can’t seem to shake it off sometimes. When I would break up with my ex I would have pre written paragraphs ready to b send if he ever decided to reach back and I would do this to make sure I didn’t forget a single thought, that every point i felt I need to prove was there, and that bothers me bc do I want win an argument or fix the issue. All of these feelings make me feel so pathetic and embarrassed people move on with their lives and I’m still stuck on something that happened 3 yrs ago. Then I’ll get manic get a tattoo, change my hair, go out clubbing do what I can to b the sexy young girl that I am and it helps in the moment but it worsens my mental after the euphoria is gone. I’m currently staying home, not going out, have only 1 friend so I feel like ocd progressively got worse now, I don’t remember it getting this bad in a while. lmk what you guys think don’t judge or think I’m embarrassing I’m actually so cool and if have to convince you I’m cool I will LMFAOO no but fr help

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