How do you deal with a demanding job while having such a crippling disorder? I am taking a leave of absence for several weeks to do partial hospitalization but I’m worried I won’t be well enough to return to work. I’m really scared of losing my job. I really am doubting whether I am adept enough to do my job now that my OCD has been triggered (was OCD free for most of my life)
Hey. I earn quite a lot and feel like I'm in the same position. I've never had ocd like this before and it was so intense I was off work for nearly 6 weeks. It was so bad I just couldn't think of anything other than my obsession, I couldn't eat, sleep or anything. I went back a couple of weeks ago on a phased return plan. I work Monday, Tuesday, take Wednesday off and then in Thursday and Friday. It helps because I'm only doing 2 days then I have either a day or two off. My work are really supportive luckily but I feel guilty about my poor performance. To make it worse I've also been recently diagnosed with ADHD too. Speak to them, see if you can phase a return and if you can do less high pressure activities for a while. Some days I'm okay and feel like my old self but some days are harder. It's nice to have the flexibility. Hope this helps x
@Anonymous Thanks for the reply. Did you tell them you have OCD? I’ve been keeping it to myself and referring to it vaguely as a health condition because of the stigma
@Anonymous I’m the same where I can’t focus on anything but my thoughts. My brain feels numb and I can’t think or process things now I normally did. May I ask what triggered your OCD? And what did you do during those 6 weeks?
@Anonymous I did, I work for a very D&I focused business so it's not really a big deal thank goodness. Attitudes have changed a lot over recent years, no? I didn't mention specifics as it's on a strict need to know basis but I told them about the condition.
@Anonymous I feel your pain, it's a truly horrible experience. A few things, relationship breakdown, I stopped SSRIs at the end of 2022 and just not taking care of myself mentally or physically.
@Anonymous Yes I totally agree stigma around mental health has gotten better, especially where I work in the Bay Area and in tech but I’m at a start up so I still fear judgment and lack of confidence in my ability (which even I am questioning right now)
@Anonymous I also work in tech in the UK. You'll be fine, just tell them when you feel you have the capacity to do so 🫶
@Anonymous I see. Did you suffer from ocd previously? With your phased return to work how is your pay calculated?
@Anonymous Not like this. Looking back I think I've been dealing with for a long time across multiple themes. It was just never a truly crippling experience like this had been so I didn't really research it and just tried to live life and went through compulsions occasionally. I've been on SSRIs for like 6 years in total until I stopped but that was for depression. Honestly, I think they were keeping my ocd at bay... Without them I'm sure this would have happened before now..
@Anonymous I get full salary luckily.
I sent the time just healing and trying to get outside and do things. I restarted my SSRIs but the first few weeks were hell but eventually I started to feel a bit better and it was dominating my entire day like it was previously. It's still a big problem but I spent time in the garden, walking, spent some time at my parents... Dog sat for a couple of weeks. That kind of thing. Luckily the weather here was really nice too 😊
@Anonymous I’m glad you were able to take the time off and focus on healing. I am a couple weeks into SSRIS (lexapro) and I feel like I’m going through hell right now but I don’t know if it’s the meds or the ocd. What kind of side effects were you having while adjusting? Are you doing therapy as well?
@Anonymous They just made it more intense for like 2/3 weeks then again when I upped the dose to 100mg. Eventually it calms down I promise. I had sickness, diarrhoea, lost weight, headaches and insomnia.
@Anonymous And yes, I'm starting tomorrow 😊
@Anonymous Ok so I’m not crazy for thinking the SSRIs were making my ocd/depression worse 🤔 That’s great to hear you’re starting therapy, are you doing it through NOCD? Excited for your journey to get better. All the best wishes!
@Sanpelly Nope! Definately made everything way worse, for me at least! I've been on them for about 8 weeks now with a dose increase and doing a lot better which is good. Yes with NOCD 😊 I'm nervous but I just want to deal with this now. I just feel like I'm existing at the moment and not really living in any real capacity
@Anonymous Wow I’ve said this exact thing verbatim to my therapist. I’m existing, not living. I know exactly how you feel. I keep wishing I could go back in time before my OCD was triggered. I had such a beautiful, vibrant, and blessed life. I really hope you get better with therapy. I too am starting PHP tomorrow. Good luck to both of us!
@Sanpelly I am a nurse anesthetist in the US and I returned to work last week for two days, which I will also do this week then full time next week. I am the primary breadwinner. I was incredibly anxious last week when I started, but once I was there I settled in. I am completing 8 weeks of ERP on Thursday and was started on Zoloft and rapidly titrated up during this program. I was off for a total of 10 weeks. I also felt that the Zoloft made things a bit worse. I am sticking with the medication as prescribed in the hope that things will improve. I also am on Gabapentin for anxiety which really helped take the edge off. Many positive thoughts to you.
@Anonymous Thanks for your response. How did you explain your leave to your employer? How long have you been taking Zoloft for? It’s interesting that SSRIs make things worse before better. I hesitated a lot and now wonder if it even triggered my condition in the first place. I don’t think I’ve heard of gabapentin. Have you been dealing with OCD for a while? Sorry for all the questions!
@Sanpelly I had my physician fill out the paperwork for short term disability. I was in a pretty bad way with anxiety. I have been pretty transparent about the reason for my leave, I am not ashamed to have ocd or anxiety. I have a pretty significant and traumatic history. I did not choose to have this disorder. I’ve been on Zoloft for going on nine weeks. They started me on 50, then increased to 100 after a week. A week or two later to 150, then finally 200 mg which is the fda approved maximum. I had some increased anxiety with each adjustment, however I have GAD and illness ocd, so it’s difficult to say what the cause was. I’ve had ocd from probably childhood (I’m 54) but only recently has it become less manageable. Gabapentin is also called neurontin, and is used off-label for anxiety. It seems to work ok for me. It works within a few days instead of weeks or months. Main problem with ssri’s is that you have to get the drug into the body, then once a level is achieved, there is a lot of drug floating around until the body accommodates by utilizing all the new serotonin. This takes a fairly long time, and meanwhile it can be a challenge. I have no problem with any questions. Hope you are well!!
@Anonymous Yes it has definitely been a challenge waiting for the ssri to start working. I wonder why it can make your anxiety worse before making it better. If you don’t mind me asking, why did the OCD get worse recently for you? I’m 31 and this is only the second time I’ve had it. First time was about 10 years ago and not nearly as bad and subsided on its own. I didn’t realize it was OCD back then. Was pretty much symptom free until recently
@Sanpelly Ocd got worse for a number of reasons. First of all, I had anxiety about a medical issue, I started ruminating about it. Second, I had a bunch of personal issues that made things worse.
Hey there, I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling. If you’re interested I just started a WhatsApp support group for existential OCD. I’m trying to share with those here that are struggling with these themes. https://chat.whatsapp.com/EKYxL1uEKeP0Z8xLD3qx2X
@Logyman13 If that link doesn’t work try this one: https://chat.whatsapp.com/GW5LbyPYU5V2MEGCQd8NaP
I just started my new job maybe a couple months ago and I’m officially off orientation. I had a couple shifts by myself but the anxiety I feel being alone is honestly beastly. I keep getting scared that I’ll end up giving my patients someone else’s medications, keep having thoughts of “what if I give patient A medications to patient C.” My hair keeps falling out, I get such bad pre work and post work anxiety. On my days off all I think about is work. It’s taking a toll on my mental health and my relationship with my boyfriend. I am mad and stressed all the time. I’m just so tired and I honestly feel like I’m getting depressed. I want to stick it out a couple more months so I can get a job somewhere that’s not in a hospital. I just feel so stuck and scared all the time. If anyone else is a nurse with OCD what did you do to help with your anxiety and OCD?
I’m so glad everybody has a comfortable job where they can pay for therapy. But I’ve realized my ocd has gotten worse at the job I’m currently at and I don’t want to quit because the job market is never hiring and I always have bills to pay like every freaking week on top of that I’m still in college. I think being stressed is making my ocd worse.
Hi! I’m new to the NOCD community, but I’ve been dealing with OCD since I was 12. I’m almost 29 now, and my biggest issue is health anxiety. It’s gotten to the point where getting work done is nearly impossible because i can’t stop spiraling. I’m lucky that i work remotely, but also makes it easier to be in my own head… Asking for advice - how do you all deal with the intense anxiety and are able to make it through a 9-5 work day? Any suggestions on how I can actually be productive? Thank you!
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