Soocd must read might help

Isn’t it funny how you have the whole symptom but still doubt it’s ocd Like for me I have experience false attraction, I have faced anxiety and fear, I don’t feel anxious anymore, false memories, no sexual drive towards my partner,intrusive thoughts in my dreams and doing compulsion in my dreams, I have got from thinking that you can turn gay to thinking you might be bi, I have also analyze my past looking for evidence, I have also avoided watching YouTube and movies because I feel like it’s a trigger and I feel scared to I also scare to talk with friends because I’m afraid to get attached to them and also get an arousal,I have feared all this and more, the funny part is I have overcome them all, the only thing I have now is gronal response and it looking so real and also where the word gay or bi feels arousing, and I always check my pants 24/7 this what I’m facing now and to be honest it’s not easy when everything feels so real

Worto

Date posted: 2y

I get it. I should follow my own advice, as I'm going through this for a second time in my life, but here's my honest experience. I understand where you're coming from when it comes to friends, youtube and films, etc. But I've been there before. I remember a time where being around male friends was unbearable, but just know that until my relapse a month or so ago, those fears never really came up at all. Likewise with films and TV, etc. A few weeks ago I was in a panic and then kind of laughed at the absurdity. I was watching the Grand Tour/UK Top Gear with Jeremy Clarkson etc, and I started worrying that I found them attractive. I've watched them on TV for decades, not once (outside of OCD episodes) have I ever even thought any of them were attractive, let alone been 'attracted' to them. So logically, it has to be related to the checking and the anxiety. I clawed my way out of this once before, and the only way to do it unfortunately is to just live. Go see your friends, stomach the anxiety. Watch TV, accept the fear. You can't hide away forever, eventually you're going to have to go through the process. Looking back it's weird, going through this HOCD at 19yo I remember being absolutely terrified of socialising, I worried that I found practically every guy attractive, yet I still remember girls at the time that I had the hots for, and remember times where for instance, I danced with a hot girl at a club fondly. Totally bizarre how that works. Got to still live your life, man. And that's where I need to man up on this relapse. I'm still in the 'oh god just leave me alone' phase.

Worto

Date posted: 2y

Also worth mentioning, there is no real 'eureka' moment. You're not going to wake up one day and say 'oh wow, I'm cured'. Maybe others did, but for me it took years, admittedly without medication or help, for me to claw my way out of a hole. The anxiety and the thoughts will diminish over time until you get to a point where you hardly notice them anymore. The thoughts still come when youre in changing rooms or whatever, and you have to expect them, but the thoughts and fears get more ingrained the more you fight them. The only reason I relapsed was because I started vaping medical cannabis for insomnia (which Im convinced was its own form of OCD) and one evening I got paranoid and started worrying the HOCD would come back... and then it did.

tuchi

Date posted: 2y

@Worto I understand what you mean but bro this is really hard on me tbh

Worto

Date posted: 2y

@tuchi I get that. A few weeks ago I was at the lowest I'd ever been and I doubted all my memories, I could hardly look at my missus. If you're forcing yourself to think about this all day long, your sex drive is understandably going to take a beating. Worth noting too that nobody checks their pants for movement all day long, you've got to cut that out, mate. I do it occasionally which I shouldn't do, but doing it all day long you're going to drive yourself crazy.

tuchi

Date posted: 2y

@Worto Tbh being doing that ages it’s hard to stop now

RW95

Date posted: 19w

Has anyone gone through this, or currently going through it, need to know that I am not alone in this (18+)

I can't look at 18+ videos, comics, etc. I am straight, but SO-OCD tries to make me think I am not And the thoughts turns to feelings, and makes me scared, uncomfortable, sad, because I know this is not me. And when I try to imagine myself being with the woman on adult videos, and comics, my OCD gives gronal response not at the girl, and it fills me with fear, and anxiety, I always loved, and was attracted to women but I can't and it caused me to be depressed, and I keep ruminating I keep trying to focus on her, but it's so bad that I avoid those all the time now. I am wondering has anyone gone through something like this, or currently is, and wondering how you have done to combat this!

youllwintheb...

Date posted: 15w

Hocd (recovery or ocd in controll?)

I haven't had anxiety for 1 week, I haven't had so many thoughts, but when it comes to sexuality I feel discomfort and I feel like something is pressing on my chest, it's very disturbing, and I still have attraction (false I hope), I wasn't diagnosed with hocd but I had all the symptoms, (now I don't have anxiety anymore, except when a feeling that I'm gay appears), I no longer felt that strong need to watch videos on yt or look for things that would make me feel comfortable, so somehow I managed to keep this under control, but I don't know if it's recovery or if I'm just lying to myself that I'm not gay. If anyone has any ideas, I hope they write something here

Mt2019

Date posted: 4w

HOCD can anyone relate?

Hey everyone I’ve been doing good lately. I have an ocd therapist and I’m working on myself. Haven’t been doing as many compulsions or checks The last couple days I feel like I lost physical attraction to my wife and my mind says it’s because I’m gay. At this point I’ve been going back and forth on this for years so I’m more accepting but it still freaks me out. Then I noticed a coworker who is define as an attractive guy and thought about what it be like to be gay with him. It didn’t seem horrible but it seemed off somehow. Fast forward I tried gay porn…..again. At first like always it did nothing but I kept like making mental accommodations and trying to physically put myself in the situation. Then all the sudden I ejaculated. Sorry if too graphic. It’s happened before like that but I don’t get why. I feel horrible after it happens too. Anyway I tried straight porn to balance it out and it took forever. Maybe I just need to accept I am gay or not totally straight. I notice attractive guys and girls but I dream about my wife/girls, feel more comfortable thinking about a heterosexual relationship and can’t like get aroused to guys outside of porn. Can anyone relate? What does this mean? I might be seeking reassurance but need help

Sexual Orientation OCD

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