- Username
- Ocdsuxs
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Well first when I started going threw it I was scared. my self and my best buddy were on a fishing trip and he had to go pee in the woods and my mind visioned him doing that and my head was like "that's gay YOUR GAY" we were suppose stay in a tent that night and I faked sick and went home. I was afraid to talk about it for the first 3 months I kept it in . Then I went to mom . We talked and went over things . I got the nerve to go see a doctor and he said to see a therapist. I did few appointments and was told I do have ocd . And that this is not uncommon . As for copping... I dont think I cope well when in what I call a "episode " but it comes and goes. I'm getting married in a years time . And when I start thinking about that I get into a slump and start questioning my relationship but from what I understand hocd and rocd can come hand and hand they mingle with each other. Some days my attraction to my wife to be is excellent the bedroom activity can be amazing and perform perfect . You would think that would be enought proff to put it all behind you but it dont work that way . Needs to learn to not care about it just think who cares it doesnt matter who or what I am . I'm human and alive. Live life . And be strong . We can always talk here so keep messaging and we can work threw it togetter
Happythots ! I'm male going threw same thing I'm engaged with two beautiful girls . I know they are all my life and love them . But the idea came in my head 5 years ago and its crippling . My self, I talk about it to my closes friends fiance and parents . I know I dont fit in as gay but that god damn brain wants to make me think I am and bring us down . It knows you care about the though that's why it keeps coming up . I dont vision my self with the same sex all that comes up in my head is "your gay" " yourlieing " I'm 32 started this at 27 even had 2kids in the middle its rough but we need to have a "dont matter attitude " when it dont maternity looses its power .
Sometimes I'd rather be in hell . Fells like I'm letting the family down because it's in my head. My aunts gay and juat got married iv talk about this to her she told me she knew she was gay when she was 7 or 8 it's our brains and its a powerful thing if we let it do what it's doing
I always find my OCD is at its worst in the mornings to.
DSP123! I’m going threw the same thing but with three kids I’m 33 and got these intrusive thoughts! up until 8 weeks ago I was confident, happy and very sure of my identity. How have you coped for 5 years jeez?
Nice one mate I’ve been with my partner for 11 years I love her to death and have 3 sons and I know what your going through it is like living in hell ??
same? i’m 16 and i’m scared because that considered young i guess. but i’ve liked girls ever since i can remember and i don’t want that to change. this is such a nightmare
Dsp123 I think I'm on a similar level to you, I've had hocd for a year now, loved girls for as long as I can remember, never questioned it until a gay guy hit on me while on holiday, telling me I was gay to everyone, I was drunk and at the time I just found the man irritating, of course the next morning I woke up in distress! The next 8 months were hell! I've been with my gf 6 years! Now I hardly have any anxiety over the thoughts, I've had some therapy sessions, I think I've habbitated to the thoughts, the only thing I get is a voice in my head telling me I am gay, I just shrug it off and move on now. I agree with what you said about rocd and hocd, sometimes I feel great with my girlfriend, and at other times It feels a struggle, which is sad to right! The thing that worries me, my attraction hasn't totally come back, it's there, but not like it used to be? Is this similar to you?
Rile20 . Just like me 100% . Even when I know that theres a chance that myself and the woman are gonna get intimate I get scared because I worrie that these thoughts will interfere and be like "proof" sometimes try to advoid it but shouldn't. My head even tells me I'm loosing an erection while doing it but woman says not at all. Guess it's the anxiety doing that. The brain is too powerful .
I know, I get the same, I could be half way through oral or sex, and my mind will ask me if I'm enjoying it? I don't know it's weird! I'm 28, so started the same age as it did you, is your attraction to the opposite gender any different? Or does it come in waves? I mean I feel hardly any anxiety now, I guess I get moments of anxiety, I tell my self that if I don't have anxiety, surely I should be back to normal?
I can’t anymore. I really can’t. The what if I am attracted to them. The “why does it have to be a man with a woman” (which by the way- I only now get when women are talking in love songs. And whenever I look at any couple). I am just tired. Tired of feelings like crap. I just want to go to what I was before, but was I like this before? Have I always been like this? I am tired. My anxiety levels are ALWAYS the worse at the morning. I am starting to obsess whether I like this friend now! And it doesn’t matter how much I try to accept it, it doesn’t go away. Like there is still something wrong. I hate this. I hate this so fucking much. At this point. How can I still be straight? I literally get triggered by everything. And how can I just not be gay? I have no reason to think that but it feels so real. It’s like I have no sexuality at all. And this is all that I can think about every single hour of my day. I am even thinking about this in dreams! I even wonder that the fact I am so upset right now is because I am scared of telling people and that they won’t accept me. When I don’t even know who I am myself. I am so done. What even is this? Have I always been like this? I am getting flashbacks and it’s telling me I have.
My anxiety is pretty much gone...the thoughts are not...here’s the thoughts I’m having... -it’s not hocd this time, it’s the real thing -omg you’re attracted to your friend you’ve known for 18 years and you’re just now realizing it -when you see your boyfriend you’re gonna realize you don’t love him because you’re a lesbian -then I get intrusive thoughts about kissing girls...over and over and over again The hardest part is that the anxiety is gone so I don’t know if these are real thoughts...what if they are? What if I’m lying to myself? What if every boy I have ever fallen for in the past was just a cover? What if one day I’ll wake up and decide that men just don’t do it for me anymore? But I love them. I always have. The broad shoulders, the big arms, the height, the scent, the feeling of a boner on my butt while we spoon (so sorry tmi moment), I’ve loved them since I was 3! What the hell happened?
I went from... Omg what if I’m gay To Omg what if I’m bi To omg I am gay and I should come out And it’s like I’m not triggered anymore I just feel the need to go back and fourth in my head about my sexuality. And just come out but I know it’s not true. I don’t want it I don’t need it. I literally don’t want to be gay.
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