- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Well first when I started going threw it I was scared. my self and my best buddy were on a fishing trip and he had to go pee in the woods and my mind visioned him doing that and my head was like "that's gay YOUR GAY" we were suppose stay in a tent that night and I faked sick and went home. I was afraid to talk about it for the first 3 months I kept it in . Then I went to mom . We talked and went over things . I got the nerve to go see a doctor and he said to see a therapist. I did few appointments and was told I do have ocd . And that this is not uncommon . As for copping... I dont think I cope well when in what I call a "episode " but it comes and goes. I'm getting married in a years time . And when I start thinking about that I get into a slump and start questioning my relationship but from what I understand hocd and rocd can come hand and hand they mingle with each other. Some days my attraction to my wife to be is excellent the bedroom activity can be amazing and perform perfect . You would think that would be enought proff to put it all behind you but it dont work that way . Needs to learn to not care about it just think who cares it doesnt matter who or what I am . I'm human and alive. Live life . And be strong . We can always talk here so keep messaging and we can work threw it togetter
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Happythots ! I'm male going threw same thing I'm engaged with two beautiful girls . I know they are all my life and love them . But the idea came in my head 5 years ago and its crippling . My self, I talk about it to my closes friends fiance and parents . I know I dont fit in as gay but that god damn brain wants to make me think I am and bring us down . It knows you care about the though that's why it keeps coming up . I dont vision my self with the same sex all that comes up in my head is "your gay" " yourlieing " I'm 32 started this at 27 even had 2kids in the middle its rough but we need to have a "dont matter attitude " when it dont maternity looses its power .
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Sometimes I'd rather be in hell . Fells like I'm letting the family down because it's in my head. My aunts gay and juat got married iv talk about this to her she told me she knew she was gay when she was 7 or 8 it's our brains and its a powerful thing if we let it do what it's doing
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I always find my OCD is at its worst in the mornings to.
- Date posted
- 5y ago
DSP123! I’m going threw the same thing but with three kids I’m 33 and got these intrusive thoughts! up until 8 weeks ago I was confident, happy and very sure of my identity. How have you coped for 5 years jeez?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Nice one mate I’ve been with my partner for 11 years I love her to death and have 3 sons and I know what your going through it is like living in hell ??
- Date posted
- 5y ago
same? i’m 16 and i’m scared because that considered young i guess. but i’ve liked girls ever since i can remember and i don’t want that to change. this is such a nightmare
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Dsp123 I think I'm on a similar level to you, I've had hocd for a year now, loved girls for as long as I can remember, never questioned it until a gay guy hit on me while on holiday, telling me I was gay to everyone, I was drunk and at the time I just found the man irritating, of course the next morning I woke up in distress! The next 8 months were hell! I've been with my gf 6 years! Now I hardly have any anxiety over the thoughts, I've had some therapy sessions, I think I've habbitated to the thoughts, the only thing I get is a voice in my head telling me I am gay, I just shrug it off and move on now. I agree with what you said about rocd and hocd, sometimes I feel great with my girlfriend, and at other times It feels a struggle, which is sad to right! The thing that worries me, my attraction hasn't totally come back, it's there, but not like it used to be? Is this similar to you?
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Rile20 . Just like me 100% . Even when I know that theres a chance that myself and the woman are gonna get intimate I get scared because I worrie that these thoughts will interfere and be like "proof" sometimes try to advoid it but shouldn't. My head even tells me I'm loosing an erection while doing it but woman says not at all. Guess it's the anxiety doing that. The brain is too powerful .
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I know, I get the same, I could be half way through oral or sex, and my mind will ask me if I'm enjoying it? I don't know it's weird! I'm 28, so started the same age as it did you, is your attraction to the opposite gender any different? Or does it come in waves? I mean I feel hardly any anxiety now, I guess I get moments of anxiety, I tell my self that if I don't have anxiety, surely I should be back to normal?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w ago
Ok so I’m a 17 year old female, and I’ve always thought I was straight. But I just really want to know how you would know the difference between so-ocd and actually questioning your sexuality. I have nothing against the LGBTQ community (in fact I am very much a token straight friend, lol) but I saw a video about comp-het recently and it sort of felt like what I was experiencing. I don’t want to be gay, I want to be with men, I want to like men, I’ve always liked men, but now I’m questioning whether or not that’s real? Because people can be gay but not want to be right? I’m single and I always have been. I think women are gorgeous, but when I try to imagine actually having any sort of romantic or sexual relationship with a woman it feels wrong, at least most of the time it does? Sometimes I’m less sure, and I’ve never been particularly boy crazy. I’ve liked maybe 2 or 3 people in my life, (not to say I’ve never found other guys attractive, but it doesn’t seem to be as often as most people) I have no particular reason to be afraid of being gay, very supportive family, safe area ect, but I don’t want to be, does that mean this is ocd, I don’t know what’s going on every time I say I’m straight I feel like I’m lying, but that might just be because I think about it so much. The idea of being with a woman doesn’t feel like something I would want, but is that just because I don’t want to want it? People online say things with so much sureness, if you feel like this it means this. Ect.
- Date posted
- 12w ago
as the title says. i am trying, i really am but i cant help but think that i have been gay this whole time. it feels like i can never be happy again unless i come out. i cant do it anymore. everyday is hard. there are not easy days. i just want to love my partner and i cant. i look at him and i get this wave of anxiety and guilt. why can i just be me again? i miss the days there this was just a past thing. i feel alone and i feel stuck like this forever. my heart hurts all the time. i am trying to sit with uncertainty but i cant because it feels certain and that i know i am gay but i dont want to be. its really really sad. i hate my life and i need it to end. bye.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 11w ago
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
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