- Username
- hocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Don’t worry I’m like this too. Every since hocd, I notice every girl that walks buy. It actually also all started when I would notice I was looking at a girl, not checking her out but just looking. And that scared me. But you’re not the only one. It sucks, I used to notice every boy and call them cute or not.
i know i feel u. like i’ve always known girls were gorgeous of course we are!! but now it’s like suddenly i can’t stop staring at their breasts and butt. and before i used to notice ofc i feel like every girl does, but it was never like i wanted to go feel them or anything u know? like i would just be like “her boobs are nice i wish mine looked like those” or “that shirt really flatters her chest” or “ugh i wish my butt looked that good”. it was never like i wanted to go touch her and hook up w her none of that. now when my hocd makes me hyper aware of women’s bodies i get scared like what if before i was just blind to my attraction. but ugh i don’t even fucking desire women sexually. i think they’re pretty and all that and yeah i’ve kissed a few girls at parties being drunk and all but i’ve literally never taken it to heart. i never dwelled on it because it didn’t matter to me. i knew i liked boys.
now it just bothers me bc im like “well if u did that before u must be a lesbian or bi now” and it’s like i’ve always known it was boys not girls so like wtf HOCD
I know girl, boys fit me they used to make me soo damn happy idk what happened to all that all those feeligs towards them, the constant fantasizing and trying to get a boy to like you. Everything just went to dust
Exactly omg i can relate so much when u said like hyper aware its crazy. The butt and the boob thing too i always wish i had more cruves bc of woman that are build like that but now my mind says u do t want to look like them, u want to be with them. Im like wooow hollup where did thst even came from, why does my mind suddenly say thst while it never did before. I hate it bevaude it effects me so much. I feel gross and i feel unpure and just not myself when it happens its like no im not the girl my mind says i am, this all is not me.
Yes same! I used to just look at them to try and compare them to my body, or I’d be like “wow she have a nice butt” but never have I thought anything more than that. Ofc women have nice bodies, but I don’t wanna touch one or do anything sexual with one. I want a husband and kids and all of that. It just sucks, because I look back and I’m just like “what if I looked at them because secretly you desire to be with one?” Like wth. I hate this shit so much. Doesn’t let me rest with anything.
yes i know exactly what u guys mean. like i’ve even tried being like “okay fine i’m bisexual or i’m lesbian” just to make the thoughts shut the fuck up. and it felt so wrong and it made me even more nervous. like i was meant to want boys and that’s who i want so why does this shit haunt me
i know i know :( i wish this didn’t happen to us
If it makes you feel better I had hocd last year around this time and what I would do is I’d kiss a pillow and pretend it was a girl. It made me feel weird but overtime it helped me get over it because I knew i didn’t like jy
*it
So now anytime that thought comes I get out a pillow or something and get to kissing
It sucks, I used to like boys giving me attention especially the ones I liked and now Idk what’s going on.
I know i hate thatso mych i always wanted to get attention feom boys but never had but now i do but i cant feel it or something
I know but like since hocd it makes you believe the watching is more than just admiring it u know. We think it means something like being attracted tk it. But thanks for the support it does help because next time we do it we know its just because we comparing ;)
But the thought of ghat makes me sooo anxious like the thiugt that i dont like it doesnt even come up only thst im scared to do that
So looks like I’ve hit a wall I haven’t hit ever with this ocd. If you can even call it ocd. I genuinely feel confused. Idk what’s real or not. Idk what my mind or body wants. I feel so stressed out. My thoughts don’t give me anxiety anymore and sometimes it genuinely feels like I want it and I’m just hiding it. I don’t get it. I even lost attraction to this girl I was madly interested in. I don’t know what to do anymore really. I see any dude and my mind automatically starts thinking “you’re attracted to him” literally every single guy I see. I’m not even kidding. I really don’t get what’s going on with me. I haven’t been diagnosed yet because there are no ocd specialists in my area. My mom told me once she thinks she has ocd and my aunt as well. But their ocd seems more like the “traditional” type of ocd where you can actually see their compulsions. I think I struggled from Religious ocd a few years back. Also with my ex girlfriend there was a period where I struggled with ROCD I believe but got over it. Now Hocd has definitely been the worst and what makes it worse is that I actually had a gay experience but even after that I didn’t question my sexuality. I maybe would get the ocasional “you’re gay” thought but wouldn’t pay it attention and it just went away. But now it just can’t leave my head. This has been going on since February. I used to be crazy for women, don’t know what’s wrong with me. I even had sex with the girl I really like about 2 weeks ago and really enjoyed it! But now my attraction for her seemingly disappeared out of nowhere when this hocd bull starts acting up again. I’m so tired of this.
Is it hocd or have I actually all of a sudden stopped wanting to be with a guy. I have always known I wanted to be in a relationship with a guy but ever since I got these instrusive thoughts about 3 months ago it’s only getting worse and now i dont even know who I am and if I want to date a guy or a girl. I know I don’t want to date a girl but every time I tell myself I want to date a guy I feel like somethings telling me “no you want to be with girls and you don’t have hocd you’re just in denial” Another thing that scares me is that I have never really been boy crazy and I have had small crushes on guys never on girls but every time I have thought a girl was pretty I’m like what if I thought she was attractive and I would have these crushes (they weren’t that crazy)
Okay so I have been struggling with HOCD for so fucking long. I never felt like I had crushes on boys growing up but I wasn’t attracted to girls either (this was through 5th grade). Until 6th grade hit. I remember it like it was yesterday. I had the thought walking up the stairs and it was “You’re lesbian.” And ever since that thought was there and I fought it I have been dealing with all types of OCD ever since (been going on for 7 years). And only this year I found it was OCD. But it’s hard because I don’t know if I’m actually gay or I convinced myself I’m gay because I gave up and gave in. Now whenever I see I pretty girl I feel tingling. And I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn’t a lesbian so I look up pretty pictures of girls with their boobs out and I loved it. And I wanna make out with a girl so intensely. But then at the same I don’t wanna be in a relationship with a girl and I wanna marry a guy and I just desperately wanted to be like by a guy. But I get so horny whenever girls are in bikinis and stuff. But I have OCD and I’m so confused.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond