My ocd keeps telling me" I'm just a femme gay woman in denial?!" I am pretty knowledgeable on LGBT topics because alot of my friends, family and acquaintances are part of the community. Why does ocd put all this info together to use against you? There's nothing wrong with identifying this way, but I DON'T!
Lol I’m a femme gay woman and I worry I’m in denial/wrong about that
@polishgirl Well basically when I imagined myself in the future I couldn’t see me being with a man at all but the idea of being with a woman brought me joy.
@Chevvy Do other femm attracts you?
Yes. Whatever info I gather or opinions ocd uses it against me.
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@polishgirl And what part of being a lesbian scares you? Are you worried about losing family or breaking up with your boyfriend? Seeing where the real fear lies can help you come to terms with the bigger picture
@polishgirl Doesn’t matter if you were ‘programmed’ to like men, you like men right now and if you want to only date women in the future you’ll do it then
@polishgirl Soz I’ve got a lot on my plate right now and I don’t think I could really help you more than a therapist. There’s a lot of deepest convos in the lesbian community about how we each individually experienced ‘Comphet’ it’s a relatively new word and there are nuances to it which would be difficult to get in to, I actually have the opposite problem sometimes where I’m like ‘what if it wasn’t comphet and I’m really straight’ so I get that. One of the writers of the ‘lesbian masterdoc’ which helped popularise the term comphet realised later on that she was bisexual, the world is more complicated than the words we use to try and explain it.
@polishgirl Omg I have the exact opposite problem where I’m worried I could be attracted to men because I’m attracted to masculine lesbians
@polishgirl Yeah it’s definitely not the same, I’ve never been attracted to a man in my life (just OCD telling me I have)
@polishgirl Beats tf out of me man. I like feminine women too just not as much, never liked a feminine or masculine man tho
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd
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