Is ROCD manifested after you have already fell in love with your partner and now ROCD symptoms make you question those feelings, or can ROCD happen at the beginning of a relationship before falling in love?
ROCD is obsessing over any relationship, not just romantic ones.
@sunshine&flowers7 Glad you’re a Christian. I am too
I might have have ROCD and I don't even have a partner. I have ROCD with my family, potential friends, potential partners, and maybe even God if that's possible?
But maybe I don't truly have ROCD, but I might. Mine seem to be a mix of existential, relationship, and religious OCD
I see on your profile that you're a fellow believer of Jesus Christ. Sending God's love your way.
I understand what you are all saying, but if we are talking about a romantic relationship....... ?
I really don't see any reason why it can't start at the same time as a romantic relationship, later, or even before. I can already tell that if I ever end up in a relationship, there are going to be a lot of obsessions in the ROCD field. I see you said "at the beginning of a relationship before falling in love". Can you elaborate what you mean by that please?
@Anonymous Being unsure of your feelings for them.
@Sunshineflowers7 I'm sure most people will say that you will never truly know with 100% certainty if you truly love someone. I'm pretty sure you can have ROCD at any point in a relationship, even in the process of deciding if you will even go out with them or not. Are you questioning if what you think could be ROCD for you might not even be ROCD at all, may I ask?
@Anonymous I seem to exhibit the symptoms of ROCD, but have questioned if I'm just not in love in general. Saying this even triggers me. Funny thing is, he has all the qualities I prayed for in my prayer journal- the important ones at least. I think a part of me was expecting everything to look perfect in my partner and in the relationship. It's the constant worry that maybe there's someone else, or maybe at times I'm forcing it but other times I'm not because there have been times I felt attracted to him.
@Sunshineflowers7 Thank you for your honesty, even when it triggers you. I think I can relate. Wondering if there is "the right person for me." If you want my honest opinion on that, I could tell you, but it would probably trigger you like it does me. I think only you can make that call, if they are the one you should be with. One thing to keep in mind is that, yeah, the relationship won't be "perfect", but Jesus loves all the imperfect people, and He wants us to continue to love our spouses even when we don't always "feel in love", if that makes sense. Pray about it -- that is my top recommendation. I do hope things go well with you both!
@Anonymous But, maybe it would help to keep in mind that the most important relationship you could have is with Jesus :)
It can happen at any time. And it can target whatever or whoever.
I think you said you struggle with ROCD and are engaged? Or is that a different person?
@Sunshineflowers7 That was probably me! Yep, been engaged since October and ROCD is my main theme.
@JazzCrab Did it hit you the day you got engaged?
@Sunshineflowers7 Not really, no. We talked about getting engaged for a few months before it actually happened, and I had some moments where I had doubts that got kinda loud because of ocd, but nothing crazy. It didn’t hit me REALLY hard until a couple months ago.
Is rocd just imaginary thoughts what ifs with no real reason ? Or could you have rocd with real relationship issues that do bother you in your relationship also ? Even before rocd symptoms started ? Like betrayal or a potential deal breaker ? Constantly thinking about the betrayal and one other thing which is making me question love and compatibility so I’m not sure if it’s just the wrong relationship or rocd
Heyy so has anybody ever experience in rocd like ur scared that what if u liked somebody else or had a crush on somebody else even tho u never had no romantic or sexual feelings for anybody else only ur bf but u still question urself?
So I haven’t been diagnosed with ROCD but I’ve kinda self-diagnosed myself because of my repeated thought patterns and my way to escape them by searching for answers online (“signs I love her” or taking “do I love her or am I attached/codependent” quizzes) and asking loved ones how they knew they were in love. But recently I started to question this symptom of ROCD, wouldn’t someone in denial about loosing feelings for their partner do the same thing? (try to look for reasons that they do love their partner) I started to feel emotionless and apathy for my partner around the 3 month mark but as we grew closer and had real and emotional talks I started to regain my feelings. But sometimes when we are cuddling i’ll get this sudden emotionless feeling and it gives me anxiety. (It also scares me to think this started at the 3 month mark due to the 3 month rule phenomenon I see on social media) Our relationship has always been soo healthy, I really love my girlfriend and I know it but Im not to sure if i’m actually “IN LOVE.” I sometimes get intrusive thoughts about her looks and feel like im in love with her physical potential rather than how she looks now and that feels so wrong but don’t get me wrong either I still still think she’s beautiful regardless of how she looks. I love everything else about her like her personality, kindness, generosity, and loyalty. She’s my first girlfriend so I don’t know how to distinguish between loving someone and being in love with someone. I also don’t know how to or how it feels to move on from someone after so many emotional/special moments with them and the thought about starting a new relationship makes me feel uncomfortable and is just something I don’t want, hence the feeling that I might just be attached/codependent. I feel so uncomfortable when thinking that if we break up I might never see her again and we’ll never get to rejoice in sharing these emotional, special, and beautiful moments. I want it to be her that I spend the rest of my life with so badly but I feel like my mind is stopping me from picturing a future of us together even though that’s what I really want. (writing this sentence^ I got the intrusive thought of “are you sure that’s what you really want” and now i’m questioning myself) I also can’t help but feel this intense anxiousness in my chest and an inner gut feeling/voice telling me to break up with her without any reason other than because I have a strong feeling she isn’t the one. I haven’t acted on this feeling because In the case that I do have ROCD I know this gut feeling/intuition cannot be trusted. I also read, in the case that I do have ROCD the way to treat it is to endure the anxiety and face uncertainty but I feel like there is no uncertainty about my relationship. I feel 100% safe with her and that she won’t cheat on me, so why do i feel like this!!! I don’t want to endure this anxiety forever, I’m so confused! I’m currently looking for therapy to help decipher my feelings correctly and see if I’m experiencing ROCD. But according to what i’ve explained.. Is this ROCD or DENIAL about losing feelings?
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
