Feels real the thought s

I think because I was worried about being home alone with my mum, I started imagining these thoughts but they weren’t intrusive they were on purpose they was first about smothering my mum and then I was about dragging her and burying her and it was really fricken graphic like an image of mud on her face and I had hot and cold chills and my heart was beating fast but I thought of those thoughts on propose and then I kept trying to think of them despite the chills I was getting and now days later I’m still worrying but I’m deliberately bringing the thoughts on and it feels like that could have happened that day and I’m worrying and now I keep feeling like ‘I must like it’ because I keep deliberately wanting to imagine these thouHnts about my dragging and burying my mum and I told her about it and I’m just worrying and I don’t know what to do I don’t even know if I’m worried I’m just feeling like I must like it and believing that and idk because it feels like I actually like it and want to do that and I feel worried but feels true

D:)

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

ive had really graphic intrusive images and thoughts and it’s terrifying. sending you hugs you can get through this🤍

lu22

Date posted: 2y

@D:) I just don’t know why it felt like I wanted to and was trying on purpose to imagine them and it’s been like that for days and now I’m thinking it’s because I must like it and say that day that could have happened I feel really worried

Crescent moo...

Date posted: 2y

@lu22 I am experiencing the same thing but with a different scenario at the moment. The extremely vivid intrusive thoughts that feel almost like memories of having actually done that terrible thing is extremely difficult to deal with but it’s something a lot of people with ocd experience. I also sometimes actively think about it the reason we do this is because our ocd is trying to figure out if it could/could’ve really happen/happened. It doesn’t mean you are a bad person you are just a person who has a very nasty disorder ❤️

D:)

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@lu22 i completely understand where you’re coming from & it’s so scary. these intrusive thoughts and urges and images come and they feel so real. i get so scared im going to lose control and do something, it really can be scary. the one thing i have learned through ocd is the more your fight it, the more intense it gets unfortunately😓 sitting with the thoughts and saying something like “okay ocd I know what you’re doing. that is a possibility, but im going to keep going on about my day and do the things I wanted to do. you’re welcome to stay around but im going to keep going. “ i have seen this help le a little bit because it takes the fear out of the thoughts. it almost tells your brain you aren’t scared of them and your brain listens to that. that’s how you have to fight ocd back- it can be so scary especially with hocd because you want to fight it and tell it how much you don’t want to do anything, but that tell your ocd it causes you distress and unfortunately makes those feel stronger over time. keep pushing, you’re doing great🩵

[Deleted]

Date posted: 2y

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lu22

Date posted: 2y

@Crescent moon girl But it felt like I wanted to think about them and then it felt like it was close to happening and why did it not feel like I hated the thoughts and instead of feeling disgusted it’s like I wanted to think about it and was imagining the thoughts in different ways and then a thought came to my head ‘what if your planning on doing that’ and then I was getting hot and cold chills and my heart was beating fast and now even today when I first woke up the first thing I started imagining was those thoughts and they weren’t even unwanted I was choosing to think about them and now I feel really at a loss and confused I feel all over the place and don’t even know what I’m feeling anymore I don’t even know if I’m worried or if im anxious all I know is I was trying to think about it and wanted to and now im thinking what of that’s because I wanted to do that ? I don’t know what to do I feel really confused and concerned

lu22

Date posted: 24w

Harm ocd come back

Suddenly I started ruminating again but I no longer get bad anxiety over the thoughts but it feels like the ‘urges’ are still there and it’s making it seem more real that these are true. Why am I having urges without the anxiety or it’s weird like i don’t even know when im anxious maybe i got use to the feeling of being anxious but it feels too real and I get these weird thought that are like ‘imagine you was evil anyways’ or ‘imagine you want to be but your in denial’ or the worst makes it feel like you would like acting on the thoughts even if you choose not to do it and it feels really real. The thoughts are about stabbing and it felt so real and I started imaging it on purpose to ‘test’ myself but it doesn’t ever feel like I hate it enough or don’t want it like I feel numb to everything and it feels really real like I want it or do want to do it but I’m just choosing not to and it’s scary but I use to get so much anxiety over this and now nothing now it feels like I don’t even feel like I ‘hate’ it or I should know that I don’t want to do that? Instead of sitting there experimenting with the thoughts to see. I want it to feel like I don’t want it and don’t like it I constantly feel like I’m lying about not wanting this, but it’s concerning me a lot because it feels so real that I like it or want it and there was one point where it felt like it was about to happen and that I wanted it and now that’s made me think there is something wrong with me or that I want to give in to it 🙁 please I don’t belive anything I don’t even belive I am sad it feels so real that it was about to happen or I wanted it and I don’t know what to do I was fine before and suddenly I started ruminating and now this

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 24w

Does anyone ever feel like they like a thought?

I have been struggling today, most likely due to lack of sleep. I had a thought that I would consider intrusive, but what really unsettled me was that I felt like I liked it, **not just in the sense that I lacked anxiety over it, but that I genuinely felt like I wanted it.** It left me feeling really confused. It happened during intimacy, which makes it even more unsettling. The thought was incestuous, I found myself imagining and comparing the moment with my boyfriend to my father :/, and what really alarms me is that I felt like I wanted it there, both mentally and physically. I was having a really nice time, so maybe the physical sensations got mixed in somehow, but it still worries me. I did my best not to ruminate in the moment and avoided checking. I tried to move on, but the feeling of genuinely liking the thought was so clear that it is hard to shake off. Has anyone else experienced something similar? This is one of the first times it has ever happened to this extent.

lu22

Date posted: 24w

I really need advice harm ocd

I know we’re not meant to ask for reassurance but I’m currently not in therapy and I need help, it feels scarily real and I feel like I’m not anxious or worried over the thoughts. I had stabbing thoughts about someone I care about and I started deliberately imagining them to test myself to see if I hate it or not but instead it felt like I knew how it feels to stab someone and like the feeling of doing that physical action and I swear it is the worst thing I have ever experienced as well I had moments where it felt like It was about to happen or I keep getting this really sick ‘happy’ feeling that I want to do that and I don’t know what that is but it feels incredibly real almost like I was getting a happy feeling or wanted to do that thing and jsut wasn’t giving into it and now I’m thinking I’m actually evil and it feels like I get a pleasurable feeling over the thought of doing that and would want to do it?? Because I ‘like’ the feeling of doing it or it would ‘feel’ good I swear I really don’t know what to do it feels incredibly real I feel like I can’t even say that I’m worried or scared because I feel like I’m lying and actually want it and have evil desires I’m really concerned, I have never done anything bad in my life, I feel like what if through experimenting and imagining the thoughts to test myself I have suddenly discovered I like it because it feels extremely real that I would ‘enjoy’ or like Doing that evil thing and it’s really concerning, i don’t understand I was fine a few days ago and suddenly I’m experiencing this? Is it possible to suddenly become evil i don’t want to be evil, but what if i like it and my desire to not be evil isn’t as strong as this ‘happy feeling’ i wish I can be normal I don’t want any of this please but I swear I feel like there is something wrong with me, I think this is the worst I’ve ever felt, like it feels like I want it and would enjoy it and it’s making me feel really worried but at the same time I don’t even know if I’m worried please help I need advice

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Feels real the thought s

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