ROCD is wrecking my physical and emotional health

I feel beside myself. My partner focused ROCD feels like it will never end. I'm panicking because I feel like I'm running out of time because I'm 37 and want to be married with kids before it's too late, but im struggling to take the next step in my relationship. My boyfriend treats me amazing and we have a healthy and loving relationship. I keep chasing that euphoria that I think I should be feeling. We have been together 1 year, 7 mos.

milliehewitt2

Date posted: 2y

Very normal worry for people even without ocd. Like what if I want that passion etc. it’s normal for relationships to feel less exciting as you go on, your brain is literally not experiencing those same chemical reactions that you experience when you first be with someone. I’ve nearly been with my partner for 3 years and of course it’s not as exciting as it was at the start but you have a choice, go have flings every few months and keep that excitement or settle down with your lovely partner, it may not be as exciting but it is I’m sure way more fulfilling, comforting and loving than just feeling excited:) best of luck, these thoughts do not make you a bad person

Crescent moo...

Date posted: 2y

It sounds like you really need help from a therapist so you can live your life how you want to, is there anyway you can access one? ❤️

Sunshine&flo...

Date posted: 2y

I cant afford one 😫

Sunshine&flo...

Date posted: 2y

It's horrible living this way and not being sure if you are in love or not. Always questioning if I'm attracted to him. I think it's perfectionism I'm after. Wanting everything to feel and look a certain way.

mollyyy

Date posted: 2y

Did you guys have ROCD from beginning or did it develop after some time? X

Sunshine&flo...

Date posted: 2y

Mine from the very beginning.

Sunshine&flo...

Date posted: 2y

I've had it with previous partners too. Always had anxiety and had a hard time figuring out my feelings. But my bf now has all the core qualities I want for a life partner, and yet I'm still struggling 😫 our values line up and our plans for the future align. I'm tired of feeling anxious and doubtful. I can't even enjoy our time because of the physical symptoms I get from the anxiety. I can't talk to friends or family bc they don't understand.

mollyyy

Date posted: 2y

@Sunshineflowers7 I'm sorry you're struggling, I'm here if you ever want to talk 🤍

mollyyy

Date posted: 2y

@Sunshineflowers7 Do you get moments of clarity? When I 'check' my feelings I don't get relief which then scares me even more

Sunshine&flo...

Date posted: 2y

@mollyyy I have had periods were the anxiety was really low and I was able to enjoy the relationship

mollyyy

Date posted: 2y

@Sunshineflowers7 What makes you carry on? X

Sunshine&flo...

Date posted: 2y

@mollyyy I believe he's worth it. He has what I want in a life long partner

mollyyy

Date posted: 2y

@Sunshineflowers7 Feel the same way but so hard to navigate and hearing other peoples points of view etc panics me and its such a spiral isn't it. Hang in there x

Sunshine&flo...

Date posted: 2y

@mollyyy Piece of advice: be very mindful who you share your struggles with. Most people unless they have heard or have experienced it themselves, will only trigger anxiety and panic.

SearchingFor...

Date posted: 19h

To be honest in a relationship you don’t want to chase after a feeling because feelings are deceptive and they constantly change. Nobody will have a perfect partner because we are all humans and we make mistakes and let each other down from time to time. The movies and media have made us believe in Mr. Perfect and chasing the love story but none of it’s real sadly. Trust me that was a hard one for me to realize because I believed in true love and finding someone that was just right for me but the truth is if you found someone who treats you good, who you can trust and feel safe with and you love them and they love you. It sounds like he is a good one . I wouldn’t overthink it because it will cause anxiety and worry and then the cycle will continue. Now the urgency to make a decision now that’s causing panic that is just your ROCD. Don’t let it win take time to think it through calmly and with an open heart. Can you picture your partner making you happy if you got married? Can you see yourself being able to talk to him about your daily life and life’s struggles? If this man makes you happy at least think about it. You don’t want to miss out on a good one 😊

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