I’ve seen a lot of hocd posts on here recently like more than half are abt sexuality and it’s got me wondering if the growing acceptance of the lgbt community and popularized gay culture like on twitter has something to do with it. In my case I still suffer from it and am still working on it but i prefer to fight it by trying my best in accepting it and embracing the diversity of sexuality and in some weird way it helps ground me into understanding that the uncertainty doesn’t have any control over me and it’s helped me lose anxiety abt losing interest in guys or focus on being attracted to them while not avoiding girls or thoughts abt being with girls by just acknowledging them as thoughts and going back to how I used to see girls. Just wanted to let anyone out there know it is possible and you can do it! It can’t be like this forever it’s all about putting in effort and accepting that it’s still a process

A little clarification on my (and many others’) experience with HOCD. Yes, “I don’t care what my sexuality is, I just wanna know for sure” makes the case for HOCD stronger and more ‘qualified’ sounding- however that is not the only HOCD can manifest. Saying that, can trigger some HOCD sufferers who are simply weary of identifying as lgbtq (an understandable fear). Do NOT get me wrong however. I would do ANYTHING for my friends who are bi and gay. I love them SO dearly and will fight for them for forever. Lgbtq folk who struggle with their identities, and not being loved by the people who are supposed to love them no matter what- INSPIRE me with their resilience. Their strength. Their confidence to live out who they are to the fullest extent. I watched the movie Love, Simon and cried like a baby, and am incredibly excited that Pete Buttigieg is the USA’s first openly gay presidential candidate. However this does not discount the struggles that many lgbtq people face. So many are not accepted by their families, have extremely difficult life transitions, and agonize over coming out. These are not things that people willingly want to go through. Is is completely unreasonable for someone suffering with HOCD to also fear these things? As an example (I’m black)- there is a difference in saying that you wouldn’t want to be black because you believe we are less than, versus saying that you wouldn’t want to struggle with the same things that we do. Just because you understand the trials and tribulations that black people go through in this country and would not want that for yourself, does NOT mean you are racist. It simply means you understand that there is pain. And no human willingly wants pain. Although these are exact things lgbtq people have to deal with (making HOCD distinctly different from most other pure o themes because it becomes impossible to differentiate us from people actually struggling with their identity) it shouldn’t be ignored that HOCD sufferers fear them too! Why wouldn’t we? This is such a deep rooted issue for sufferers because, where you could say someone who is suffering with POCD would never hurt a child simply because their thoughts horrify them (and a real pedophile wouldn’t be scared of their thoughts) you can’t say the same for HOCD. For some of us HOCD people who have these specific fears, it’s even more difficult to trust that what we have is ocd and it’s even more difficult to explain to someone else that what we have is ocd. I’ve had different themes of OCD throughout my life and the obsessive and compulsive behaviors have been the same, but this one makes me feel like I don’t even get to qualify. What a mind-fuck for us, huh? Also understand, this definitely isn’t my only fear. I have been attracted to, day-dreamed about, and desperately wanted to be with one gender my entire life. Having a husband was something I’ve wanted for so very long. It IS a part of who I am and what I want. It’s distressing to think this could all be lost one day. To have these ‘dreams’ stolen by obsessive thoughts, and be made to believe that it was all a lie- is just as hard to deal with as any other form of ocd. When I envision the life that ocd is telling me I “actually” want- I’m filled with sadness. How do any of the rest of you deal with your ocd telling you that you want (or want to do) something- that you actually don’t? I know this can be controversial, and truly truly hope I do not offend anyone- lgbtq friends, I truly do love you. I just want everyone to know that what we can struggle with within each theme, can be very different- but none are any less important or qualified than the others. If you truly disagree and want to share, please be kind. I am just as fragile as a lot of us on here. I’m suffering too.

Tw for people who have HOCD. I recently accepted the fact that I really am bisexual and that's okay. ? I love my husband and nothing will change that. I used to think it was HOCD but after the thought of being attracted to women stopped scaring me, the fears went away but the attraction didn't. So it's no longer a cause for distress and is just a part of me that I've accepted and made peace with. ? However, the one downside of this is, because one of my OCD themes ended up being true, I now have thoughts like "What if they're ALL true? What if every other OCD theme including your POCD is true??" Anyone else in a similar situation?

i just has a thought that i would like to share... i think that a lot of teens could be going through HOCD in this day and age because there is so much about the LGBTQ community in the media (not like that’s a bad thing btw) back in the day, like maybe the 90s, HOCD was categorised as “fear of being gay” not “fear of being bi” i think a lot of us teens have a fear of being bi because that is seen as a valid sexuality but back in the day i don’t think it was. it was either all or nothing. being gay used to be seen as such a taboo so back then if you were to tell anyone you were getting intrusive thoughts about being gay it would be seen as ghastly and horrible. but now you tell someone who doesn’t get the nature of Pure O and they’d say “oMg iTs 2020 aCcEpT yOuRsElF, gEt WiTh ThE tImEs” which makes it harder for us teens to get through this. i also had a thought that depending on whether you’re a girl or guy, HOCD is difficult in different ways most straight girls watch lesbian porn cus it focuses on female pleasure - HOCD manipulates that i’ve seen tweets saying shit like “how are women even straight have you see a woman naked?” - like sis....really? i’ve seen articles saying women are never straight either bi or lesbian- ....anyways.... - being a straight girl going through HOCD, seeing all that is difficult and not only this but HOCD is focused heavily on straight men and it really pisses me off. all the books i’ve real on HOCD all talk about men specifically and their groinal responses and it’s like...what about me? for guys: the groinal response is more noticeable that’s the biggest struggle i could think of for guys since i don’t know what you guys go through exactly i’ve been told by people that i give of a bisexual vibe because i’m quirky....i literally don’t even know at this point, i could breathe and someone would be like “oMg YoUrE sO bIsExUaL” (ง'̀-'́)ง i kinda want HOCD to be spoken about more cus i feel like it’s one of those OCD subcategories that aren’t really deemed as that important since being gay isn’t a taboo anymore. i feel this way too with ROCD these have just been my thoughts, agree or not idc i just wanted to express my feelings ( ˘ ³˘)♥