- Date posted
- 2y
Audible hallucinations / voices.
So I don't have this issue any more but wanted to share my experience as I've come through the other side with this. When I was between 14 and 16 years old I had voices in my head. They would tell me to do the worst stuff you could possibly think of. They were usually louder when I was alone, trying to sleep or with the light off. I had a counselling and art therapy to help and they did nothing but get me mornings off of school. I had one main voice that I can compare to a villain in a Disney like film or jack ripper if I were to be extreme about it, then there was this weasely voice that I felt was a hype man for the other, whispering stuff in its ear or cheering it on. I never gave in once to their demands and every night for 2 years my mind was like a war zone. 4 hours sleep at most a night. I'd usually sleep at school because the noise drowned them out. Now I knew that these voices were my thoughts but I felt as if I couldn't control them. Felt as if I had been reincarnated at some times from a very evil person and they were trying to reclaim my life as theirs. One day at school I opened up to a friend about them and he directed me to another friend of ours, he wasn't a close one but he was nice. He told me to imagine a door and picture these voices on one side, and on the other side imagine the most powerful thing you can think of. It could be an army, god, nukes, anything. Once I had this pictured in my head he said open the door. Now, I didn't think much of it at that point but I didn't hear the voices that night, or any night after. They were just gone. I still don't fully understand it but a mental exercise from a 15yr old did better than the therapists I had for 2 years. I was free from them finally. But my fascination with the outcome turned into an obsession with mental health so 🤷♂️and I researched the hell out of how the mind works because to me it was magic and wanted to kind of debunk it and see if I could help others. A few months later I felt alone and asked for the voices to come back. They didn't. I pretended they did, but they didn't. Apparently voices are quite common and a few of my friends had them and I didn't know about it. I knew my first girlfriend did and that's kind of how we bonded. As amazing as she was I do not recommend forming a relationship on how unstable you both feel 🤣🤣 I was a kid and did kid things. Lesson learned. I also had a friend who tried burning down the school because his voices told him to. Wasn't successful but the drama class was a bit smokey for a while. I also recommend that you don't do what he did either. Fast forward 17 years and I get voices again. This time it sounds different and it's only one. I threatened this one by saying I got rid of voices before and can do it again. It went away for a few days and came back. I did get rid of them again but this time the solution was different. The voice had an emotion behind it and I felt I had to read into that emotion rather than the words used. I asked myself why I would feel that way/ that emotion and solved the issue. The voice is now gone within 2 weeks of it starting. Turns out I was in love with my friend and didn't want to accept it as if I were to get into a relationship with her at the time I'd only push her away as I didn't know how to get better then and felt my compulsions would push her away. That scared the hell out of me and my ocd was acting like some firewall trying to protect me from that "threat". To summarise : My first set of voices were triggered by me not feeling good enough and guilty for something quite innocent when I was much younger. Visualisation exercises got rid of the first. Arguing with them and having a screaming match in my head every night didn't work. The recent one was because of my fear of losing my best friend. I read into the emotion behind the voice rather than the actual things it was saying. I hope this helps someone as I don't see a lot on here about it.