I've been trying to practice radical acceptance, but I've been having a hard time. If I am a pedo and it's not OCD, I'm not sure I can love myself or even look at myself the same way. It's so hard. I want to be happy and have a healthy relationship with myself, but this is a bit overwhelming. Any advice?
Radical acceptance doesn’t mean your accepting that your a pedo. It means you accepting that there might be some chance that you are. I have to practice radical acceptance with everything ocd throws at me because that’s the only way I can combat it. Even if you accept that you might be a pedo that doesn’t mean that it’s true that you are one. You could even believe that your a serial killer or something worse but even if you believe or think you maybe could be that doesn’t make it true. That’s what I’ve practiced with my OCD specialist.
That makes sense and sounds more doable. Thank you for explaining that 💕
Does anyone just have absurd thoughts, and have such a hard time accepting them? OCD is tricky and how can I just accept this is how it is . I’m so tired of fighting myself. I have such a hard time accepting these awful thoughts about killing my daughter.
Now i have been a little upset, and i just came across a post that asked people, "What's one of those things that people refuse to accept out of morality, but you believe to be true?" One of the most liked answers was: "Killing criminals should be legal", another answer said: "Imagine a carnage of p... To be in a better world where children don't suffer" I mean, i'm not advocating for those criminals, and in some ways i agree that the world would be better off without them, but my mind keeps assuming i'm already one of them and they're talking about me. It's torture. I don't know what to do or think, It's just that there's no point in "accepting that it could or could not be the fear in my mind", because if it's true, it would mean the most horrible thing in the world. That is, for ROCD, for SOOCD, yeah, it's that irrational and fault logic by definition. There is no shame in being gay, heterosexual or not, loving your partner or not is not a matter of live and death, but POCD doubt IS, i mean... Not only does it feel important, IT IS important for me and i would believe that for everybody, because that's a matter of hurting other people or not, it's a matter of ruining someone's live or not. I can't practice ignoring my mind, saying "ok, maybe", BECAUSE IT'S AN EXTRAODINARILY HORRIBLE TOPIC.
17f So basically I think you know this whole accept and sit with the uncertainty thing. It applies to pocd as well. Because you can ruminate, test yourself, seek reassurance as much as you want but it will never be enough for you brain to be sure you are not a P. So you need to sit with "Maybe I am a P maybe not" and just don't do anything about it. So sometimes I can do that. But here comes moral ocd. If I accept the chanse of me being a pedophile, isn't it morally wrong for me to be around children? Look at children? Watch movies with children in it? Cause now I can't even look at children even if it was an accident without freaking out and thinking that I'm a monster. Sometimes it feels morally wrong to leave the house because there is a chanse I can meet a child on the street I genuinely don't know what to do. It feels paralyzing at this point. Seems like I can't do anything. Like I even need to cover children on the screen with my hand when I watch a movie. It's exhausting.
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