- Username
- madaraa
- Date posted
- 5y ago
For me a lot of it came from heteronormativity and wanting to fit in. Also any boys I did like had very feminine qualities and actually many of them turned out to also be gay. I struggle to fully understand HOCD but from what I know, in my experience, looking back it was very obvious from a young age that I wasn’t straight and any anxiety came from wanting to fit in and the potential to be rejected rather than anxiety over actually being gay, as is the case with HOCD. Hope that makes sense!
They weren't, maybe they were pressured by society to like them because they were taught their attraction to women was wrong. But if you don't like boys, you never did like boys. People who are bi/pan have a more fluid sexuality and maybe there was a time were their attraction was mainly more directed towards one gender. But if you are lesbian, gay, straight you like one gender and that's that
thanks girls for your answers !
oh , im pretty sure every straight girl had a crush on troye and eugene .
personally not me , not my type of guys
@hocdgirlsummer don't google that, it's a compulsion. I did it and I had the biggest anxiety surge but you can do that too cause it doesn't apply to you. Crushing on men who have a more "feminine" look doesn't mean anything. I like guys with big lips, that doesn't make me a lesbian cause big lips aren't a female thing only. I totally feel what you're feeling but hey everyone has a type, lesbian can be attracted to masculine women and that doesn't make them straight. Liking feminine guys doesn't make you gay either
I’m so sorry you sound so distressed @hocdgirlsummer! What stands out to me is you’ve said you can’t believe it’s you who is typing this... well it’s not, it’s your OCD! And you are allowed to tell your OCD to back right off and leave you alone!
Thanks for the support girl! I truly appreciate it soo much!
Kinda triggering. Ive also liked boys on the feminine side. Omg. It feels like all my crushes were pressured now. Idk ive also like straight boys a lot like a lot of straight boys but im stillfreaked out now. I for example liked troye sivan and also eugene from buzzfeed recently came out the closet but i also had a crush on him. Im not even going to google wat heteronormativity means because ik 1000% i will be triggered for life and scared that all my crushes in the past were fake. I never even used tk think about being gay as a child or something.
I know but damn hocd is at it again. I dont knownif its hocd anymore like what the hell. I knowni feel anxious but i cant stop my mind from thinking thst the anxietyy is because im scared i wont fit in, because im in denial or that all my crushes were fake in the past. I havent felt that in a long time. God i just need to feel something for a boy again. I just want to fall in love with a boy and everything will go away but hocd will never let me. Attraction is completely gone i feel like im asexual now or something. I cant believe this is me who is typing this. If i saw myself typing this message 2 years ago i would laugh, its so unfair to ke how everyone lives their life so comfortably while everything i do feels anxious and uncomfu
I have a friend who identifies as a lesbian and she told me that even though she had ‘crushes’ on guys, they were never actually romantic. She just wanted to be their friend and to be considered one of the guys.
i used to be able to just fuck around and kiss girls for fun at parties and even consider threesome fully knowing i was straight and was just open to it for fun. now if someone brings this up to me or whatever i get so scared. like hocd completely changed my mindset in that way. i always knew i was straight and was confident in it and now i’m worries i’m bisexual or lesbian. and it takes my attraction away from boys. which is what i actually desire in my heart. fuck this man
It's not about hocd but can someone help me with my sexuality. Okay so i was in an all girls school and an all girls college. I rarely got the chance to interact with boys except for my coaching classes. It's like in the past i had dozens of girl crushes and a very few guy crushes but if i ever had to imagine myself being intimate with,it was mostly boys. It's like i clearly remember that i fantasized about boys but i don't actually remember if i ever fantasized about girls. My mind is telling me i had. I had a very few guy friends so whenever we had a meet over i always wanted the guy's attention and not those girls. I don't know what kind of crushes or attraction i had for those girls but i always considered myself straight because even if i had a few guy crushes like 2-3 it was only them i mostly fantasized about. Also i have never been interested in lesbian related stuffs. I have watched kdramas and have mostly got male celebrity crushes. My mind has constantly been telling me i am a lesbian cause i mean i did not have hocd when i had those girl crushes but if today i imagine myself getting intimate with a girl to check if it affects me i get anxious.
i think i might be developing sexual orientation ocd because i identify as a lesbian but when i was a kid i only ever crushed on guys. im starting to wonder if i just had hocd the entire time and believed the thoughts so hard that i tricked myself into thinking im gay. but i really don't wanna be straight ?
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