madaraa
- Date posted
- 5y
elizabeth246elizabeth246
- Date posted
- 5y
For me a lot of it came from heteronormativity and wanting to fit in. Also any boys I did like had very feminine qualities and actually many of them turned out to also be gay. I struggle to fully understand HOCD but from what I know, in my experience, looking back it was very obvious from a young age that I wasn’t straight and any anxiety came from wanting to fit in and the potential to be rejected rather than anxiety over actually being gay, as is the case with HOCD. Hope that makes sense!
notfortalknotfortalk
- Date posted
- 5y
They weren't, maybe they were pressured by society to like them because they were taught their attraction to women was wrong. But if you don't like boys, you never did like boys. People who are bi/pan have a more fluid sexuality and maybe there was a time were their attraction was mainly more directed towards one gender. But if you are lesbian, gay, straight you like one gender and that's that
madaraamadaraa
- Date posted
- 5y
thanks girls for your answers !
madaraamadaraa
- Date posted
- 5y
oh , im pretty sure every straight girl had a crush on troye and eugene .
madaraamadaraa
- Date posted
- 5y
personally not me , not my type of guys
notfortalknotfortalk
- Date posted
- 5y
@hocdgirlsummer don't google that, it's a compulsion. I did it and I had the biggest anxiety surge but you can do that too cause it doesn't apply to you. Crushing on men who have a more "feminine" look doesn't mean anything. I like guys with big lips, that doesn't make me a lesbian cause big lips aren't a female thing only. I totally feel what you're feeling but hey everyone has a type, lesbian can be attracted to masculine women and that doesn't make them straight. Liking feminine guys doesn't make you gay either
elizabeth246elizabeth246
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m so sorry you sound so distressed @hocdgirlsummer! What stands out to me is you’ve said you can’t believe it’s you who is typing this... well it’s not, it’s your OCD! And you are allowed to tell your OCD to back right off and leave you alone!
hocdgirlsummerhocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y
Thanks for the support girl! I truly appreciate it soo much!
hocdgirlsummerhocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y
Kinda triggering. Ive also liked boys on the feminine side. Omg. It feels like all my crushes were pressured now. Idk ive also like straight boys a lot like a lot of straight boys but im stillfreaked out now. I for example liked troye sivan and also eugene from buzzfeed recently came out the closet but i also had a crush on him. Im not even going to google wat heteronormativity means because ik 1000% i will be triggered for life and scared that all my crushes in the past were fake. I never even used tk think about being gay as a child or something.
hocdgirlsummerhocdgirlsummer
- Date posted
- 5y
I know but damn hocd is at it again. I dont knownif its hocd anymore like what the hell. I knowni feel anxious but i cant stop my mind from thinking thst the anxietyy is because im scared i wont fit in, because im in denial or that all my crushes were fake in the past. I havent felt that in a long time. God i just need to feel something for a boy again. I just want to fall in love with a boy and everything will go away but hocd will never let me. Attraction is completely gone i feel like im asexual now or something. I cant believe this is me who is typing this. If i saw myself typing this message 2 years ago i would laugh, its so unfair to ke how everyone lives their life so comfortably while everything i do feels anxious and uncomfu
Pink DinosaurPink Dinosaur
- Date posted
- 5y
I have a friend who identifies as a lesbian and she told me that even though she had ‘crushes’ on guys, they were never actually romantic. She just wanted to be their friend and to be considered one of the guys.
Related posts
violettag6
- Date posted
- 15w
so-ocd
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vaiiolyn
- Date posted
- 13w
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vaiiolyn
- Date posted
- 13w
feeling helpless
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
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