- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
For me a lot of it came from heteronormativity and wanting to fit in. Also any boys I did like had very feminine qualities and actually many of them turned out to also be gay. I struggle to fully understand HOCD but from what I know, in my experience, looking back it was very obvious from a young age that I wasn’t straight and any anxiety came from wanting to fit in and the potential to be rejected rather than anxiety over actually being gay, as is the case with HOCD. Hope that makes sense!
- Date posted
- 6y
They weren't, maybe they were pressured by society to like them because they were taught their attraction to women was wrong. But if you don't like boys, you never did like boys. People who are bi/pan have a more fluid sexuality and maybe there was a time were their attraction was mainly more directed towards one gender. But if you are lesbian, gay, straight you like one gender and that's that
- Date posted
- 6y
thanks girls for your answers !
- Date posted
- 6y
oh , im pretty sure every straight girl had a crush on troye and eugene .
- Date posted
- 6y
personally not me , not my type of guys
- Date posted
- 6y
@hocdgirlsummer don't google that, it's a compulsion. I did it and I had the biggest anxiety surge but you can do that too cause it doesn't apply to you. Crushing on men who have a more "feminine" look doesn't mean anything. I like guys with big lips, that doesn't make me a lesbian cause big lips aren't a female thing only. I totally feel what you're feeling but hey everyone has a type, lesbian can be attracted to masculine women and that doesn't make them straight. Liking feminine guys doesn't make you gay either
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m so sorry you sound so distressed @hocdgirlsummer! What stands out to me is you’ve said you can’t believe it’s you who is typing this... well it’s not, it’s your OCD! And you are allowed to tell your OCD to back right off and leave you alone!
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks for the support girl! I truly appreciate it soo much!
- Date posted
- 6y
Kinda triggering. Ive also liked boys on the feminine side. Omg. It feels like all my crushes were pressured now. Idk ive also like straight boys a lot like a lot of straight boys but im stillfreaked out now. I for example liked troye sivan and also eugene from buzzfeed recently came out the closet but i also had a crush on him. Im not even going to google wat heteronormativity means because ik 1000% i will be triggered for life and scared that all my crushes in the past were fake. I never even used tk think about being gay as a child or something.
- Date posted
- 6y
I know but damn hocd is at it again. I dont knownif its hocd anymore like what the hell. I knowni feel anxious but i cant stop my mind from thinking thst the anxietyy is because im scared i wont fit in, because im in denial or that all my crushes were fake in the past. I havent felt that in a long time. God i just need to feel something for a boy again. I just want to fall in love with a boy and everything will go away but hocd will never let me. Attraction is completely gone i feel like im asexual now or something. I cant believe this is me who is typing this. If i saw myself typing this message 2 years ago i would laugh, its so unfair to ke how everyone lives their life so comfortably while everything i do feels anxious and uncomfu
- Date posted
- 6y
I have a friend who identifies as a lesbian and she told me that even though she had ‘crushes’ on guys, they were never actually romantic. She just wanted to be their friend and to be considered one of the guys.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
i'm positive i was attracted to women before this got a thought when i was high thought really really deeply into and changed my life now im 24/7 scared im gay ive always been attracted to girls but early in my sexual life where im at ive always got with girls and seemed a little disapointed after would love help and to hear past experiences
- Date posted
- 15w
signs of comphet (comphet is when lesbians who don’t know it and just follow norms and believe there straight) ive felt: “I never really felt anything when kissing boys and totally thought that was normal… I talk to men, go on dates, but I think it’s to keep my life ‘interesting’ and have something to talk about with friends.” • lack of deep, natural emotional connection • trying to replay moments where i “felt” something with my boyfriend (probably arousal or excitement from being wanted, not actual sexual/romantic attraction) to again remind myself of my “attraction” towards them• talking about my boyfriend to other people made me feel “cool”, “worthy”, “interesting” and felt like a way to prove myself • being able to clearly articulate all the reasons I liked a guy crush/my boyfriend (he’s smart, funny, kind, handsome, etc) whereas with a girl crush I can’t exactly put my finger on why I like them but I’m just naturally drawn to them • never missing my exes or feeling heartbroken about them (i would feel sad from being lonely and no longer having that daily routine of having someone to talk to, but didn’t necessarily miss that specific person) • i was always very hesitant about “becoming official” with a guy i would be seeing and would make him wait before deciding to date because i “didn’t know if i really liked him or not” (i didn’t!) only being aroused by their desire for me (this is what made me figure out I was a lesbian). • Thinking I was cooler than other girls because I didn't spend any time thinking about how cute boys were or being "boy-crazy". I was under the impression for a while that I must just be less shallow than other people because I didn't really take looks into account when I had a crush on a boy, I only factored in their personality. Turns out this is called not being attracted to men and just wanting to be their friend! XD i’m scared my experiences with men have been only comphet because they all align with this. like when i had my hocd break for two years and went back to men it aligns with comphet so now im like was me going back to men not genuine and im actually lesbian. but it’s like have i been emotionally or romantically actually attracted to a man or has it been comphet and i haven’t and i just did it because i thought i should like my sister or friends
- Date posted
- 14w
hi guys i added to list. i’m freaking out i just need some help. signs of comphet (comphet is when lesbians who don’t know it and just follow norms and believe there straight) ive felt: “I never felt anything when kissing boys and totally thought that was normal… I talk to men, go on dates, but I think it’s to keep my life ‘interesting’ and have something to talk about with friends.” • lack of deep, natural emotional connection • • talking about my boyfriend to other people made me feel “cool”, “worthy”, “interesting” and felt like a way to prove myself • being able to clearly articulate all the reasons I liked a guy crush/my boyfriend (he’s smart, funny, kind, handsome, etc) whereas with a girl crush I can’t exactly put my finger on why I like them but I’m just naturally drawn to them • never missing my exes or feeling heartbroken about them (i would feel sad from being lonely and no longer having that daily routine of having someone to talk to, but didn’t necessarily miss that specific person) • i was always very hesitant about “becoming official” with a guy i would be seeing and would make him wait before deciding to date because i “didn’t know if i really liked him or not” only being aroused by their the man’s desire for me • Thinking I was cooler than other girls because I didn't spend any time thinking about how cute boys were or being "boy-crazy". I was under the impression for a while that I must just be less shallow than other people because I didn't really take looks into account when I had a crush on a boy, I only factored in their personality. chasing the ego boost more than emotional closeness agreed with friends or mom about someone being attractive even if you didn’t feel it—another big flag being bored, ditching serious commitment, chasing the drama again it also feels like i’m acting a lot of the time to make it more romantic cause i cringe When you fantasize about men, it is mostly just enacting a kind of narrative. More focused on movement than features- the men in your fantasies might be faceless or blank-featured or their bodies might symbolize some emotion. you might not even be in the in the fantasy, but instead another faceless woman might be. You might even imagine yourself as the man. The narrative follows the sexual script, but the details are more vague and abstract and might even shift and change throughout the fantasy. i dont care about like what guys looks like. like my sister saw a video of a guy working out and was like got damn omg gotta like that. if i saw that i would prob be like damn to try and prove something to myself but i don’t really understand what i should feel it feels like i relate to so much comphet after i read it on reddit and it doesn’t even make me want to cry and die anymore. it feels like i tolerate men or have done it for attention or because i thought it was going to happen at some point cause it was what was happening around me like sister and friends. i’m scared ill never find someone i want to marry that’s a man it feels like it’s all just comphet and i don’t want to actually be with a man the more my meds work and anxiety lessens the more the fear feels real because i can’t get myself anxious about it anymore. i can about other stuff but not this. i always told myself i don’t chase i attract. maybe thats cause i never wanted a big badly enough. maybe what im missing is a girl what if that ends up feeling more real Straight people don’t need to talk themselves into what’s hot. like during the hocd break i would try and like see what was “hot” and and be like yeah that’s hot. i also i refused to masturbate to women and not think about it because i didn’t want it to prove that i still liked it but i mean idk if that was left over hocd
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