I realized i avoid many things cause of ocd

But im not so happy about it... Im more afraid, cause my whole life was ruled by ocd, what i thought that i dont like bc its not for me or its bad, i didnt liked it bc ocd told me that its bad... So actually my value system is based upon ocd... So why i am afraid? Its there... its because if i start to do exposures and act on not what ocd tells me, i might become a bad person. Alot of times i thought okay ocd is bad but atleast it makes me a good person. And what i mean by that? I realized i stopped doing things in the past bc of ocd. I stopped going out with people who drinks, parties or even do drugs cause i was afraid that i might become them. Fear made me stop going out with them, not my value system. Another one, im a christian, i dont do alot of things that i did before cause i dont want to be a bad christian. I dont listen music what is unbiblical, or be with people that arent respecting christianity all because of fear. I like to write song lyrics. In the past i used to write worldly songs, it was terrible, now i just only write songs about faith,God, and struggles in our life, cause i can connect to this better right now. But i realized i could write love songs too(not cringe ones,more like those Bruno Mars ones) but i got this feeling of fear that if i go back again i might leave God again(cause back then i didnt believe) I will forget what is important now and my life will broke down...i would get lost... so its fear that stops me, and its like i value God but with fear,so its like for exposure i should write worldly songs, go out with people who drinks,do things that i did before, but im afraid maybe i will like this things and i will leave God. Sometimes i do afraid that i only believe in God cause its a hiding place where i can feel comfortable(i dont do this i just feel like it is,,) So idk,.i should do exposures but im afraid that i would fall back to sinning cause deep down i might like these things...

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

I know it’s hard, but I think doing these exposures would be a good idea. Remember, God loves you no matter what. He isn’t a policeman trying to put you in jail. I used to be afraid that God would send me to hell, and I would go to church just so i could get into heaven. But now I know that is a very unhealthy and depressing way to live. Write your worldly songs, go out with people who drink, listen to whatever music you want. I promise you God wants you to be happy and feel free. This life is his gift to us, he wants us to enjoy it. You can do this. Just take baby steps with the exposures.

PRIV8

Date posted: 2y

Im not afraid that i will go to hell or God will send me there, im afraid that i will get lost in the world again, and i will lose my faith to satisfy my worldly needs. I will forget about God or just lose this connection that i have now with him, or i will make a God based on my imagination, like what is good for me he allows it...many fall into this and they fell then ask where is God... In the past i had many failures and then asked where is God and i was agry at Him, i even lost my faith. But now i feel like i have a better understanding and a good relationship with Him but i would lose this if i would go back,cause deep down im enjoying sin(cause everyone does). Im very easily manipulated, i changed my values in the past so easily... but now this feels so strong and im afraid of losing it

PRIV8

Date posted: 2y

@PRIV8 This interferes with my fear of values too. I know the way to recovery means ignoring thoughts and do what is important for you, what you value, and when i have to do that i always ask, this is really what i value? And when i watch tiktok videos(i have a really bad taste of humour) i think that some would be a sin and when i say okay lets do what i value now, i value laughing but i ask do i value this bad humour? So i cant decide what to do and im still thinking, so ocd stays... I cant do anything about my humour, it is how it is, i like that im like this, but my fear is that i would become like that with everyone.For context, an exemple, when you and your friends say terrible jokes at eachother, but you dont think it seriously. Im afraid of this that my humour will become my value, what i seriously believe in, and this will be a part in my life, not just humour, what im just laughing about at times...

bokang

Date posted: 17w

Is this OCD or just...me?

I'm really struggling to figure out where my OCD ends and where I begin. I’m scared of most things—not in a panicky way, but in a deep, cautious, worst-case-scenario kind of way. Example: I haaaaaaaaate my spectacles. I’d love to do Lasik, or even just wear contacts, but the idea terrifies me. I’ve heard about the tiniest risk of blindness or infection, and once that thought is in my head, it takes over. I picture the worst, and then I don’t act. TRIGGER Also Lasik involves cutting TRIGGER which petrifies me. I’m stuck between wanting change and being too afraid to make it. The same goes with wanting to travel but being scared I'll be trafficked or someone will plant something in my bag & I'll get arrested overseas. No amount of praying will fix it. Does anyone else feel like their OCD makes them freeze in everyday decisions? Like you can’t tell if you're just being practical or if it's the OCD gripping the steering wheel again? Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's not OCD but my personality, that's what I'm trying to figure out.

Mid-life adults with OCD

savannahframe19

Date posted: 16w

ugh

i’m so scared to get into a relationship because i think i’m a avoidant attachment… like i have a fear of losing myself and being too attached to where i won’t love myself but love them more than i love myself… like i’m thinking about the guy i like and thinking about the opportunity to be with him but something tells me i’m gonna back away because of my ocd… i wanna love myself before i get into a relationship… especially this generation of relationships get me really anxious.. it’s like i wanna be in a relationship but i also don’t because of losing myself… i wanna have confidence in myself and like the person and have a relationship with God at the same time… i think i’m doing a compulsion which isn’t good because my ocd themes keep switching

PRIV8

Date posted: 16w

Questioning my faith or ocd

Since I started to accept that maybe some of the problems i deal with might be things that i should accept cause either way I feel shame if i have these thoughts, and i think that being that person is shameful. I'm struggling these days and I noticed I have thoughts about God not being real, not helping me, questioning if its real and these thoughts makes me feel shame. But i keep accepting it cause Im tired that i feel like im lying to myself and everytime i feel like im avoiding the truth, so I try to accept it that its okay that im having these problems(I do the same with suicidal ocd,I start to accept maybe its real) but since im doing this I noticed it makes me depreassed cause of shame. Made things worse, I always spin about shame that it might be true, i try tk accept it but it doesnt work, I feel like maybe i should go back and label every feeling and thought as ocd but i know i wouldnt be free cause i would feel like im trying to make myself feel better... But if its ocd, how can I decide its that if I have the emotions like im losing my faith, I get angry when i hear about faith, sometimes i feel like i really question it, have thoughts like i dont want to have faith...

Religion & Spirituality OCD

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I realized i avoid many things cause of ocd

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