Stumbling through the Rosary

As someone trying to close the door on Protestantism, Catholicism seems to make more logical sense. Unfortunately, OCD rarely bows to logic. I’ve believed since I was little if I prayed to anyone other than God I’d go to hell. Even though I know understand the confusion between Protestant and Catholic interpretations of prayer and worship, my old childhood beliefs seem almost cemented in my brain. I’ve been attempting to pray the Rosary every day for a week in an effort to start a relationship with Mary. I’ve also found another prayer that I like that’s directed to Jesus asking for help in this area. Every day it’s become a little easier. I even woke up excited to pray the Rosary after having a dream about it last night. But this time I tried to allow myself to participate with the Hail Marys which I had previously been skipping. I say allow because several times I wanted to, but held myself back. Well, first one or two weren’t so bad. But as the rosary continued, so did my anxiety. I think I bit off more that I could chew because by the end of it I had to go straight to the SOS section of the app. I am trying to resist the urge to figure out if this anxiety and chest pains are God saying he’s displeased with me or if they are natural physical responses to stress. I look forward to being able to pray the Rosary without this distress, but I’m hesitant to attempt it again. Which is a bummer cause I thought I was on a roll.

ReadyForImpr...

Date posted: 2y

It sounds like you're doing great with the ERP on this! The fact that you pushed yourself to do it and used the SOS feature means you were trying to do response prevention. Keep going with that - it'll get easier as you practice. Resisting the figuring out is also good.

Gabrielle24601

Date posted: 2y

Hi! I’ve been through something similar when I went from Protestantism (Baptist) to Eastern Orthodoxy (very similar to Catholicism but with multiple Patriarchs instead of one Pope and with a greater emphasis sin as sickness rather than wrong doing). Anyways, we use a prayer rope which is very similar. I’d encourage you that you don’t need to feel the pressure to start your relationship with Mary. She understand our weaknesses and sicknesses, and she is reaching out to us even as we reach out to her. I’d suggest starting so small that you can’t fail. For instance, pray one Hail Mary a day. And if you don’t have the strength for that, just say something like, “I’m sorry that I can’t pray to you today, but I want to love you more.” That in itself is a pray to Mary and that struggle and honesty means more than a thousand easy rosaries. Also talk with your priest about what your prayer rule should be and explain that you have OCD and how OCD works. Trust what your priest tells you to do, and try not to stress about doing more or not doing enough.

mehletstry

Date posted: 2y

@Gabrielle24601 Thank you for your kind response. Interestingly enough it was Orthodoxy that opened me up more to Mary. I reasoned I’d soon end up either Orthodox or Catholic, and when I found out both venerate Mary to a much higher degree than my Prot churches do, well I was floored. I am fortunate that my new priest is very understanding about this matter. It seems Mary is understanding too. I just wish OCD did not effect this area of my life or I could be rid of it.

Gabrielle24601

Date posted: 2y

@mehletstry I’m so glad your priest is understand! And I agree with you that I wish OCD would leave this area of my life alone. Best of luck, and I’ll say a prayer to Mary for you :)

mehletstry

Date posted: 2y

@Gabrielle24601 Thank you, I appreciate it 😊

Sesamoi

Date posted: 23w

Catholicism

Hey, I’ve been trying to grow in my Catholic faith, but my ocd makes it very hard. I read a passage about a saint going through a great ordeal and start panicking that I need to give up everything and be martyred painfully. I seem to always hyperfocus on unhelpful book passages that make me afraid of God and see Him as a tyrant. I admire those who can read others words on faith, but I get suicidal, self harm, or turn away from God because I get sucked in so deep. That’s the obsessive part of ocd. Do you have any tips on how to get past this?

Krome_da

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 22w

Pretty Tough Morning

So I’m not sure how many/if any of you are Christians, but I’m assuming this can still make sense to some of you. This morning has been rough. I’m constantly thinking, “am I saved? Have I never been saved and I’m tricking myself into thinking I am? When I’m listening to Christian music am I doing for the right reasons? Is it too late for me?”. Things I know the truthful answers to but yet I still think these thoughts. I don’t understand why. Why do I constantly think about these “what if”’s? My heart always feels so heavy and I feel as if I need to talk to God right then and there to make it stop and go away. But then am I talking to the Lord for the wrong reasons? And the cycle repeats. Thankfully, day one of my therapy is tonight and I’m hoping to find at least a little clarity on this stuff. I’ve had OCD for 7 years and I don’t even know how it works. Any advice?

Teresa1

Date posted: 20w

Listening to my confessor even though I doubt

I have terrible ocd. Lots of different subtypes but the one that bothers me most is religious ocd. The advice I've been given is to go to only one priest for confession (I'm Catholic) and to listen to his advice. I've been doing that lately and I'm actually taking his advice (like, for example, that if I committed a mortal sin, I'd know for sure.. When there's doubt about whether or not I've done smth wrong, it's likely not mortal and I can recieve communion). I've read that this is good advice for scrupulous ppl. So I'm finally taking his advice but it's so scary! My biggest fear is receiving the Eucharist in a state of mortal sin.. But I need to trust what the priest is telling me. Any other Catholics in this situation? I'm proud of myself for actually taking his advice but it's terrifying at the same time..What if I'm fooling myself and can't admit to myself that I actually did commit a mortal sin, but he sees it as doubt..like, I don't know if I'm doubting I've sinned or if I'm in denial about sinning.. If anyone knows what I mean..I also realize that full will needs to be involved in mortal sin and the presence of doubt is often a sign that even if I did sin, it wasn't fully willful so that's why it's not mortal.. But I'm still unsure and afraid. But that's probably cuz I have ocd and anxiety. Lol.. I'm just wondering if anyone else has been in this situation.. And if it gets easier to listen to your confessor's advice even though it's scary and not what your OCD wants.

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Stumbling through the Rosary

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