feel deflated today i a haas such bad anxiety about a past event and my anxiety has gone now but the memory of the event is still on my mind what else can i do it's bringing me down bewcause it's still there and i want to move past it
That was supposed to be a smiley face! :-)
Welcome the thoughts as just thoughts. Don't ruminate, sit with the memory even welcome it. Plow through it, don't fear it. You can have relief.
@Mike in PA ok thankyou it's so hard
You were struggling yesterday too. When I start replaying a past event I add uncertainty, the maybe, maybe not of it all. Then I look at the memory, allow myself to feel the emotion. Feeling bad about something is healthy when it leads the healing. Ruminating only gets worse when we try to relive the moment. Here's a good YouTube video. https://youtu.be/gvkxyLedtas
@Mike in PA thankyou i'll take a look now you hello me so much
@NaggingOCD I'll be here for you if you'd like me to be. You're not alone :-(
@Mike in PA just by you commenting on my posts helps me
@Mike in PA sorry for coming back but the memory/thoughts that are just stuck on my mind what's best to do i try and say we all do silly things but the the adult part comes to mind so it's hard to try and move on and get a relief i try maybe maybe not but i'm still being tormented every second of the day
@NaggingOCD I know it's not easy. I can't remember if I asked yesterday, but are you in therapy? Do you have people close to you to support you?
@Mike in PA yeah i'm in therapy but had to put a pause on things untill i get my review for new medication i have family who i speak to but there's not much they can do apart from listen to me
@NaggingOCD I understand, not many people close to me understand what I'm going through. That's why we're here for each other . :-)
@Mike in PA yeah i've cried and cried today it's too much uncertainty is
@NaggingOCD May I ask details about a thought you keep having?
@Mike in PA me not knowing if an adult said something inappropriate or not but because i believed it for years it's now became a fear that i believe
@NaggingOCD Thanks for sharing. Maybe the adult did, maybe not? Will you ever know for sure?
@NaggingOCD I know it sounds easier than it is. You're stuck in a spiral in your mind over this. Wish I could reach my hand in there and pull you through. Only you can. You can do it!
@Mike in PA i know but's really hard to accept if it did happen i feel my life will be over as it's a bad thing i think it might be false memory i remeber the event but unsure on this thought so could it be false memory that i'm believing
@NaggingOCD Another tool my therapist used is to have me write out a worst case scenario about the event. Write it and read it over and over again allowing the thoughts to come. Remember it's just a thought. It seems the more we intentionally increase our distress and sit with it, the closer we are to healing. I didn't want to do it, but believe it or not, it helped! Wish I could give you a hug, you seem like such a a sweet person. :-)
@Mike in PA i try to sit with it but then my minds says but this terrible thing happened you shouldn't be able to move on it's just so hard
@NaggingOCD It isn't easy, I know, because it's not natural. Our compulsions are actually our minds self defense mechanism. It takes effort to go against it. But it does help. After writing out one of my scenarios, I actually started laughing at it after a while. Others are more difficult for me, but it's helping. :-) I see you're a Mom, how many and age? If I may ask.
@Mike in PA yeah i'll have to give it a try the thing is my mind then spirals and say if that happened would it mean there a pedophile and all these other thoughts i'm sure she didn't show her face too was a quick flash soo if someone did say aimee thing they probably thought there saying it to another adult but because we grow up to know that's bad adults don't say things like that to kids it eats me alive and just 1 child whose 1
@NaggingOCD Were you hurt in any way when you were a child?
@Mike in PA no had normal upbringing
@NaggingOCD That's good. :-)
@Mike in PA so should i just respond with it's just a thought i think my minds trying to find a relief and that's why i'm finding it hard
@NaggingOCD It is just a thought. It may be helpful for you to write out a worst case scenario, like what's the very worst that can happen, and allow the discomfort in, and uncertainty. Rate it on a scale of 1 to 10. Maybe doing something like that intentionally more often will help you, hopefully it'll lose its power.
@Mike in PA ok i'll try thanks again i think i attache the meaning of it being so bad like thee worst thing that could happen it's hard to let the discomfort be there but i'll try my best
@NaggingOCD Ok. Hopefully it'll help. I'll be here if you ever want to talk. Give that baby of yours a big hug! :-)
I have a fear that i intentionally put a thought of my baby girl in my head during sex.. i dont know what happened anymore, was that intrusive, what happened at all, i just cant remember, everything is fuzzy... Only thing i know for sure is that i dont feel anything sexual towards my daughter and that is the only thing im certain of... Anyone had similiar experience and what has helped you move on? Im stuck with this terrible feelings for 5 days now..
i feel like i have been posting a lot about this and i will try to stop since now but i just don't know where to start or what to do, and i can't take therapy right now either. my event is about something that did actually happen; i had a boyfriend and we had a 1.5 age difference (i know this sounds stupid) but the thing is that we both started to sext a lot since he was 14 and i was 15. we shared audios videos pictures ect and i don't know how to just let this go, even when i know that i never really forced him into anything and i was always constantly worried about him being comfortable, when to stop and ect. the memories keep coming back to my mind and the guilt is eating me up slowly because i keep thinking that i'm a predator or a groomer or something like that. i don't know how to deal with the what ifs either, lately i haven't stopped thinking what if i sexually harassed or sexually exploited him or something like that. how do i deal with the cycle of guilt and constant what ifs if i also feel like my event is worse than others i've seen? please help me with this. it's getting a lil tiring and even if somedays i know how to deal with this, i still get really triggered sometimes. this wouldn't even bother me before, i wish i could just get back in time before this theme popped into my mind. my life has been a hell since then and i live constantly scared and suicidal.
I have had the same false memory/instrusive image of me doing something horrible to someone when I was 12 and they were younger. It is a memory based on a real event. I truly don’t know if it’s real or not but obviously, the more I think about it the more I think it’s true. This has led my mind to become slightly paranoid. I worry that if this horrible image in my head is true then one day the person I might have hurt will come and k*ll me. I’m really scared I feel like I won’t feel better as long as this “memory” is in my head. Does anyone have advice?
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