- Date posted
- 2y
Real events ocd
Hocd pocd and real events ocd is affecting me badly… and other external bad things are happening to me… i swear… im alone…
Hocd pocd and real events ocd is affecting me badly… and other external bad things are happening to me… i swear… im alone…
You’re not alone my real event/false memory ocd ruining my life. I’m hoping we’re in the right place and Erp can help us
@Anonymous I also have pocd and real events OCD regarding explicit anime/explicit cartoon content too… i didnt regard characters age and appearance at the time (i was 17-18) and i didnt know what the content was or what it represented and some of the creators said the characters that were underage in canon, were 18+ in the content, so I thought they were safe to watch… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… The explicit anime characters looked and were really young… and i avoided most of the content… but i thought some of the content wasnt Pediphilic because they were on public explicit sites and had millions of views… I didnt know how horrible the content was or what it represented… I assumed that some of the content was safe to look at because it was on public sites and had millions of views… i didnt know that this content was or what it represented… but doing my research made me gag and puke… i dont ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… they were anime characters that looked extremely young… i didnt know how horrible the content was or what it represented… I… I looked at homosexual explicit anime content a couple times when i was 14… I had no idea what sexuality was at the time… and my hocd has triggered me with it… I had no idea what sexuality was at the time and i was also addicted to explicit content at the time… i dont ever want to be homosexual or bisexual at all… in any way… and this is POCD related too because this was a very wide known explicit anime that involved very young characters… i dont ever want to ever be a P or a chomo at all in any way… I remember when i pleasured myself to explicit content involving a man and a woman when i was 12-13… and i finished at the same time the dude did… my hocd is saying im in denial for this… I had no idea what sexuality was or anything like that… my first ever crush was a woman and i always want it to be women… i dont ever want to be attracted to men in any way shape or form… It was an educational video, so it was showing his privates finishing inside of the woman... i dont ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual at all… Its making me feel like im not anxious of triggering thoughts when i try to check my reaction too… i dont ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual at all… When i think about beautiful attractive women, i feel happy and relaxed… actually comfortable… when i see guys, get intrusive thoughts about guys, or intrusive feelings, it makes me feel so anxious and uncomfortable… Its making me think i wanted to finish at the same time as the guy in the video… i dont think i was attracted to him because when he moaned in the video i remember feeling turned off by it… i dont ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual at all… I remember finishing when the guy did… his privates were shown when he was finishing… i dont ever want to ever be attracted to guys in any way shape or form in my lifetime… I also remember that i wasnt attracted to the guy at all… I just wanted to finish when he did because I wanted to keep up the same pace… I dont ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual at all…
@Bonez The fact im blocked by people on nocd just hurts…
@Bonez @Bonez Thats why i feel so scared even posting my story… because I dont know if people are going to think I am what my pocd and hocd say about me…
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@Bonez I remember someone deleting their hopeful comment saying im not alone after i told them my story, and i think they blocked me… which is why i feel so alone…
Hello 😭, so uhm I’m kind of in the point of my POCD where I’m just tired. I just need to get it all out and get some sort of instruction of how to just idk live? So for me my childhood is pretty blurry. I have a few real event blended with false memory events there but other than that I’m a csa victim. And the way I tried to cope? By fetishising nyself, making CP of myself, seeing my life goal as being used, raped and a prostitue. Self destructive behaviour through talking to pedophiles and seeing my only worth as if I was sexually attractive. Which made me kind of numb to CP as a coping mechanism I guess. And heres’s where my main event of REOCD/false memory ocd comes in. I have a few events in my life when I’ve accidentally stumbled across CP ish mangas or just plan abuse and not had a big reaction. Some of them I even liked the story. And my ocd LOVES playing with it, making me truly believe I enjoy and get of from CP. I’ve also had quite a few dreams. A few days ago I had a dream about me getting triggered by something I did in the dream. Which I now can’t figure out if it actually was a dream. But also moments overall where I’ve unintentionally touched my private part while my siblings are in the room or when I found a guy 2 years younger than me pretty in 4th grade. Or a few of my only friends who turned out to be younger than me, and I had talked about sexual things (like fan fictions, my trauma ect) with them. AHSHB I absolutely hate ruminating and I’m tired so so so so so so tried 😭 idk help me? Please TT
I genuinely feel so alone and miserable... i had to miss out on an exam because of how severe my pocd got... im currently sick with a fever... and right now my pocd and real events ocd is telling me that im a MAP and a P because of my real events that are pocd related... and people have blocked me on NOCD... so that makes it worse for me... I get scared that Ill be cancelled and demonized because of my real events OCD and POCD situations... i dont ever want to be a MAP or a P in any way... and it legitimately scares me because the last thing i want is to be a P or a MAP...
Im tired of knowing that people have blocked me on NOCD for my pocd / real events ocd posts... Im tired of knowing that I have real events that are POCD related... Im tired of getting intrusive thoughts and false memories of the worst case scenario for my pocd and real events ocd being true... Im so tired of it all...
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