Cringe-worthy 😬 intrusive thought

i was thinking abt the time my ex friend randomly sent me without consent illegal stickers to mess with me me and while i didn't look at it because i didnt want it i read through the description what it was. now my brain is telling me intrusive obsessional questions such as "why is it wrong though?" and trying to convince me this thesis with "think about it", trying to make me doubt my belief. it's a question to which my answer is "obviously wrong" as for me is a dogma but my brain keeps knocking on me and persisting with multiple "why?" and "why?" and "but why' and i feel more and more uncertain, almost like believing it while not wanting it and not liking it. im not attracted to that shit, i didnt enjoy this thought process i was bothered and anxious abt it, not liking it but still distressingly seeing it through. but the obsessional question still persists, and it scared me a lot because i gave it value, i gave it validity by hearing it out and perceiving the possibility of it being true, even though i dont want it at all, I BELIEVED IT!!! i know it's clearly ocd, but i cannot tolerate the fact that i gave it validity and believed it even though not agreeing with it at all. what i want is for it to be wrong and for me to be confident about that, but this thing still happened. im very stressed and also disturbed and feel horrible for believing when i dont want to. i also had a forced egodystonic sudden thought like "huh why would it be wrong if one just did it for <pleasure>? doesn't make sense" in response to a particular disturbing ocd question but that was made it seem and placed as a generic question... as if i didn't want for it to be wrong under that generic circumstance and that is bothering me a lot, im afraid that even if it is egodystonic and i clearly dont believe it is right as i think with more effort and remove that cloud of momentary irrationality, that i still genuinely thought that for a moment, that that thought still happened, but i also remember it being an induced, automatic answer... maybe it's because it was formulated in a manner that made it for me to answer that way. maybe it was just an impulsive fast thought in reaction to the generic aspect and premise of that disturbing wrong question that wasnt thought enough and it doesn't really reflect truth and reality of what i believe. i cant tolerate that i had that thought. was i just manipulated into hearing out that question and i automatically believed that doubt and agreed with the doubt? i dont like that at all. I don't believe it is right, for me it's wrong and disgusting, so why did i have a suspension of the disbelief? im stressed the fuck out from this single moment. i hope that thought was intrusive, but also i know that i don't like it and dont agree with it, but still cannot tolerate that that thought took place. i don't know what to do. i cannot tolerate that i believed this ocd horrible take (even though not agreeing with it). im traumatised by what my ex friends did to me. im hoping it's one of the case that i call condition of existence, that in order to check a intrusive question your brain automatically sets it as "true" in the realm of that thought.

I need advice for intrusive thoughts. I used to feel like I could handle them. They weren’t nearly as bad as the things that related to my actual life. But now, I’m suffering. I haven’t had a sexual experience in over a year that didn’t involve constant intrusive thoughts. Most are somehow related to kids and I keep chasing off the thoughts but it’s so bad. I know you’re supposed to ignore them but I don’t know how I can just ignore that and continue what I’m doing. But they’re coming on stronger. I had one earlier I could not get rid of just as things finished so the thought came on strongly just before my orgasm hit and now I feel absolutely disgusting. I hated the thought and I know it’s not me and it was not enjoyable but it still feels like I was getting off to it. I feel sick. I’m so fucking tired of these thoughts. They’re in my every day life too and it’s all the time. I just want it to stop but ignoring it feels so wrong. What should I do?

Today has been really hard I feel like I can’t even breathe I feel like a pedo for real :( whenever i think during my alone time i try and coexist with it? but when i decided to think and think i panic and panic more and more i start feel more guilty guys I can’t take this anymore bc when I kinda feel certain it fades aways i think logically i know i probably am ok :( but it’s so scary for me what if i did actually act on the thought and I didn’t realize? And now reflecting it ???