tired :(

i keep to find the answer is it true or just false memories. I tried so many ways to find the answer but never find the 100% answer. some point, my friend just introduce some book, the name is “book of answer”. the book is for fun, its like Place one hand on the cover of the book, concentrate on a closed-ended question while stroking the edge of the pages until you sense the right time to open the book. You will find the answers to all your questions within one of pages from this book. and my ocd start play, i really want to asking about things that really disturbing my mind. i start asking did i ever do “X” , and i say God please answer me” and suddenly when I open, i saw “Yes”, ofcourse i get shocked and start thinking its God’s answer. and i keep stressing about this. if I did, why im not remembered. but i cant stop to not find the answer, if i do something, example, when i working, I need to using scaler to weigh the rice 260gr every bowl, and im thinking again, if i can put the rice 1 times on the bowl and exactly 260gr, it means my thinking its true not false memories, and i say again God please give me answer this time, and then EXACTLY 260grm. i really dont know.. if I really OCD, if i really have false memories ocd, why God always answer me “yes” for something that I doubting. even though i have so many the other episode about my false memories ocd, and it never prove I did. but in this case, i really feel i need to admit because God say yes :( anyone can help me? what should i do

anonocd

Date posted: 2y

I can totally relate to this. I’ve been doing similar things for at least 15 years. I don’t think it has ever lead to anything good. Jesus says to judge a tree by its fruit, and this kind of stuff does not bear good fruit. It just is an endless maze. I think it’s kind of similar to witchcraft in a way. There’s a scripture that says: “faith is being sure of what we hope and certain of what WE DO NOT SEE”. (emphasis mine) Are you able to share more details of what you are asking God? I wonder if it would help me understand. For me, an example is “if my coworker responds to my chat message in the next 10 seconds then that means I have to invite my neighbor to church”. And basically I ask these things instantaneously almost subconsciously.

ocdandme2828

Date posted: 2y

@anonocd I struggled with OCD false memories since 8 years ago. many episodes and themes that all felt real and I thought about it for almost years proved to be only false memories even though at that time it really felt real and anxious. during these 8 years, I didn't know I was OCD, and I just started going to a psychiatrist in the 7th year, and finally I found out that I have OCD. of course always pray and hope I'm not worried and haunted by all the scary thoughts, but I often feel, nothing, I'm getting worse and more and more new episodes or new themes. this time I'm stuck on the theme of pedophilia and false memories, if I check the thought process, the pattern is the same as all the OCD themes I've been through, somehow I know this is OCD, but because this is OCD, there is a side I'm not sure that this is OCD, I keep looking for answers whether this is real or the same as other OCD themes, some of which are proven to be only false memories.

ocdandme2828

Date posted: 2y

In the story above, I was playing at a friend's house, she showed me a book just for fun. This book contains words on every page. You can see "the book of answer" on google to understand what I mean. right now I'm stuck in the theme of pedophilia false memories. why i can say these are false memories? because if I see the pattern, it's the same as all the other themes that I've passed and some are proven to be incorrect even though they feel so real. but because OCD keeps on doubting, I'm always looking for answers whether I've ever done sexual harassment to "X” or not. I tried to ask the book, and I spoke to myself, have I ever done this, God please answer me, then I opened the book and said "yes". Of course I was very shocked, because I never knew what words were in each sheet of the book. when Yes appeared I believed that this was really from God. but if this is true from God, why don't I clearly remember I did that and it's similar to all my other OCD themes that I've gone through which have been proven wrong. same as when i working, I using scale, i need to scale 260gr each bowl, but to reach 260grm sometimes need 2-3 times scooping to get 260gram. that time i asking god again from my heart, if i can get 260gram just 1 times scope, it means I did to “X” not ocd. and then exactly 260grm at 1 times scooping.

ocdandme2828

Date posted: 2y

somehow, I feel this 8 years, I always pray and hope, I'm getting better, but what I feel, I'm getting worse and adding more terrible episodes. right now I'm confused, do I have to confess to something I'm not sure about?

anonocd

Date posted: 2y

@ocdandme2828 Have you heard of the “gun test”? Basically, if someone was holding a gun to your head and said “you have to make your best guess whether this is OCD or a real concern worth worrying about, and you only have 5 seconds to decide or I pull the trigger, and if you guess wrong I’ll pull the trigger too” ….sorry for the intensity, but, what would you guess be? From what you’ve said so far I bet your guess is that it’s OCD. Well, once you make that guess you have to just stuck with it. The point of the exercise is that it avoids ruminating about this all day long (all year long?). And think about all the missed opportunities where you could have given real love to those around you, but you were paralyzed with little tests and signs and things in your head.

ocdandme2828

Date posted: 2y

@anonocd thank you for remind me from your explanation. but its really hard, i know this 8 years really just wasted everything because i’m stuck and focus on my ocd. but thank you :)

Starve_The M...

Date posted: 23w

To my Christian brothers and sisters

Hi I have a question. I love jesus he changed my life and Made me a better person but my ocd loves to confuse me so I have a problem where I remember something in the past and I repented ofc but not it makes me question my intentions and my ocd always puts the are you lying to God card which makes me super scared and then doubt occurs and I'm so exhausted I misinterpret a lot like the voice of God I keep hearing tell the truth and repent now that's it all Good if it were true see ik I'm telling the truth not because of some feeling it's because ocd's version is so ridiculous but It feels soo real I just Want go to God without feeling this fear if I'm lying to him and I fear if somehow I'm wrong. So much anxiety and questions like what if that is gods voice what if I'm wrong pls pray for me and I see videos and I'm scared if that video was sent to me by God telling me to "tell the truth" I say that because my ocd is causing me to doubt the truth being that ocd is wrong

andrewt_

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 23w

Question about false memories, please help

Can it feel like you literally remember a false memory happening? And it feels like the memory has always been there and you vividly remember it happening that way? Because I don’t even know if I’m experiencing a false memory or not but god it feels so fucking real. Like I literally remember it happening. But what’s weird is the original memory was kind of different. 2 years later, the memory is not the same, but it feels like I literally remember it happening. And in this memory, I’m fucking snapping. I’m acting on my thoughts. I feel like a fucking psycho. I hope this is just OCD

jesus.is.fre...

Date posted: 20w

OCD 'feeling real'

I suffer from religious ocd. My only goal in life is to live in God's will and to serve Him - to live and enjoy His eternal purposes & His presence. Jesus Christ is my life. That is my only desire on this earth, this short trip into eternity, and it's being stripped by ocd thoughts and intrusive thoughts 24-7. I have read many times that ocd can 'feel real', and this is true, our minds lie to us because of fear and anxiety we can't and were never meant to carry. I have begged and tormented myself in every way to find an answer from God. I think His answer may be that this is OCD, but I'm not sure. I started therapy again because I am so exhausted and this had stolen so much of my life in a spiral of negativity, depression, and constant anxiety & intrusive thoughts. I have spent about 2 years trying to figure out if my thoughts are real or not, especially with ocd it can deceive so easily as a spiritual matter when in reality it is just a thought, which is confusing and scary to say the least. Can anyone share their experiences with this sensation? No matter what the theme is... Thank you & Praying for your comfort

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