I am that convinced I just feel Iv got to leave this earth , I can’t live with the secret so I can’t live anymore , and I’m so sad cos my family are adamant it’s ocd because I’m 30 and these thoughts and feelings and groinal responses have only came about when I obsessed about this
I realize it feels this bad, but I promise the situation can be managed!
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@emilyvictoria Wow I had exactly the same! I also had soocd before pocd
@emilyvictoria Yess right! I forget that I had soocd so many times because this theme feels extremely real as well, even realer then soocd at times but I think it’s because I only had soocd for about 3 months, pocd I already have 7 months unfortunately
I’m not doing erp I only have my family to speak to really! I had hocd for 10 years were I thought I was gay! But I’m comparing this to that and that was my fear my whole life Iv been scared of been gay just because I was a tomboy and played football! , but 2 year ago my theme changed to this , but this feels less scary and feels more like I want these thoughts and feelings and I don’t understand why I can’t just accept I’m not! I’m 30 Iv had half my life and never thought like this before … I’m adamant Iv just woke up a p at the age of 30
What I can’t understand is .. how you can go 28 years of your life with not even a thought about being a p! And then convinced you are out of nowhere and then start liking the thoughts wanting the thoughts and getting groinal responses! Surely these people who really are a born this way
@mentalpatient Because you have OCD. I know it feels convincing right now, but that is OCD. That’s how strong it is. In the past I’ve been convinced for a week that I was going to hell. I saw myself jump in front of a train every time a train came into the station. Just last week I was convinced the ac in the bus leaked coolant on me. These probably sound ridiculous to you. But that’s how your obsession sounds to us rn. The brain is powerful and doesn’t understand the differene between fiction and reality that well. That’s why it feels real. So even though you have these thoughts and feelings (groinal responses are very normal with these types of OCD) they are not real. Your brain is coming up with them because you are afraid of this theme. Please don’t do anything drastic. This can go away, I promise. But I do encourage you to find help so you can do ERP. If not, at least search for free resources on how to do exposures and then slowly quit all compulsions: the checking yourself, the analyzing your thoughts, the confessing, asking reassurance, avoiding situations and locations etc.
I know but I feel like I want to this these thoughts and that I like the thoughts!!
@mentalpatient Those are just more intrusive thoughts from OCD.
I'm struggling with pocd it feels very real and I'm at a point where I feel I need to go to confess to the police stuff I know I haven't done but have false memories of doing and I feel like nobody thinks like this and very alone.
Im only 20 and Ive been crying. I am not diagnosed with OCD yet but it lines up. I'm so scared its not, these physical sensations and urges are so horrible and I just wanna hide myself from this earth. It feels so real. I'd rather not feel any arousal than experience it, no matter if its something I like or not. I want to be free from this hell.
since february i have "POcd". Initial symptoms were thoughts, but then I did a testing compulsion during an intimate time, and I spiraled ever since. I struggle with addiction to smut. I'm cutting that out, but I feel as if it is too late. Ive never experienced this much mental, and emotional anguish in my life. On my time on this application I have given advice to others, and helped around, but I wonder if that even applies to me. Millions of times I wish I could turn back time and be more careful. I want to prevent many things, including what led me to spiral into OCD in the first place. I'm surely having an OCD episode. I have gotten a diagnosis, but I'm still not sure. I feel evil, cause unlike many here, I tested on my body sensations and it backfired (twice) I know I'm not supposed to figure out why that is the case, but now I have to live with it for the rest of my life even if its something I don't desire. This is disgusting for me, it is abhorrent. I could've never seen this coming. Day by day I've become more fearful of living with this, "OCD". I was a normal person before this, I knew what I was attracted to, I know my preferences, so why did this come about? This is singlehandedly the most painful thing that has happened to me and I have nobody but myself to blame. I am scared of death but I also would'nt mind sleeping for years on end. My parents and brother were understanding of my situation, but I failed them regardless. I don't want them to see me this way, nor do I want them to learn more of my predicament. I'm cooked. I know it, Fin, thats all folks. I'm only 20 and I already have other diagnosed mental illness so I recklessly brought upon myself another one. Its agonizing to live through, I wish this on nobody, not even my worst enemy. I can't even identify myself at this point. Its tearing me apart.
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